Right Working Romantic Related Learning Friendly Healthy Legal Inspirational Unfiltered

How About A Coupon For A Free Psych Evaluation

, , , , | Right | July 9, 2008

Me: “Ma’am, with this order, you received a free coupon for [Brand] Cosmetics.”

Customer: “What, do you think I need it?”

Me: “Uh…”

Customer: “That’s very rude, telling someone they need makeup!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m not suggesting you need makeup. I’m just offering it to you because the computer printed it out.”

Customer: “Oh, what, now the computer thinks I need makeup?”

Me: “No, ma’am… it prints out coupons for random items.”

Customer: “Well, I don’t need it any coupons from you, so there!” *storms off*

Me: *rubbing my temples* “Have a good day, ma’am.”


This story is part of the Confused-By-Coupons roundup!

Read the next Confused-By-Coupons roundup story!

Read the Confused-By-Coupons roundup!

Who Needs History When You Have Hollywood

, , , , , | Right | June 20, 2008

(A tourist walks up to my register with a handful of trinkets. I ring her up, she pays, I bag the items, and hand her the coin change. As she steps away, I see a dollar still on the counter.)

Me: “Ma’am, you forgot the rest of your change.”

Tourist: “Oh! I guess I did, unless you were paying me in pesos.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Tourist: “Pesos. The money in Mexico.”

Me: “I know what a peso is, ma’am, but I’m not Mexican.”

Tourist: “Puerto Rican?”

Me: “Not even close.”

Tourist: “Cuban?”

Me: “No.”

Tourist: “What are you, then?”

Me: “I’m Native American.”

Tourist: “So am I.”

(She’s white as notebook paper.)

Me: “No, I mean the people here before white people.”

Tourist: “What do you mean?”

Me: “You don’t know about Natives? Indians?”

Tourist: “Oh, you mean the people John Wayne killed off.”

Me: “Just take your change.”


This story is part of our Native-American roundup.

Want to read the next story? Click here!

Want to read the roundup? Click here!

Armageddon Shopping List: Holy Water, Crucifix, Tic Tac

, , , , | Right | June 18, 2008

(I am working at the express lane one Sunday morning, and this family comes in. Keep in mind that they look like something straight out of the Beverly Hillbillies. They purchase a few things, and their total comes up to $6.66.)

Customer: *looks at total in horror and points to son* “Quick, get some candy, gum, anything!”

(His son then proceeds to throw a box of Tic Tacs at me.)

Customer: “I will not have the Devil’s number as my total!”

Me: “Thank you, sir. Have a nice day!”


This story is featured in our Religious Customers roundup!

Click here to read the next story.

Click here to return to the roundup!

Ah, Fathers

, , , , , | Right | June 15, 2008

(I am a cashier and father and young son are in line.)

Son: “Wow, that’s a lot of stuff!”

Dad: “Yeah, I might have to sell your bike to pay for it all.”

Son: “Noooo, not my bike!”

Dad: *laughs* “No, I wouldn’t sell your bike for food. Although, I might sell it for beer…”

More Frisky Than Frail

, , , | Right | June 9, 2008

(A man of at least eighty years of age comes up to my checkout lane. I am bagging his last item.)

Me: “Man, I just don’t think this is gonna fit in here.”

Customer: *completely straight-faced* “That’s what she said.”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: *still straight-faced* “That’s what she said.”

(Needless to say, I nearly died of laughter. If there were only more grandfathers like that out there.)