And The Cases Serve Their Purpose

, , , | Right | January 11, 2008

(Note: this is before Halo 3 has come out. A customer walks into the store and looks at the display cases of Halo 3.)

Customer: “HALO 3 IS OUT! HOW DID I MISS IT?! Do you have any copies left?”

Me: “No. The game does not come out for another month.”

Customer: “Then why do you have the cases out on the floor already?! It’s ridiculous! It serves no purpose but to taunt the customer. I hate when stores do this!”

(Customer turns and complains to his friend for five minutes, then turns back to me.)

Customer: “Is there any way that I can reserve Halo 3?”

Me: “Yes, you can, for $5.”

(Customer buys the reserve.)

Me: *as he is leaving* “And the cases serve their purpose.”


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Think Unsexy Thoughts

, , , | Right | January 7, 2008

Elderly Female: “I didn’t know they had digital scales.”

Me: *rings through scale* “Yup, they’re pretty cool.”

Elderly Female: “Are they accurate?”

Me: “I believe so, they measure to one decimal place too so it’s more accurate to read than a normal scale.”

Elderly Female: “Oh that’s so lovely! I’m going to go home now and weigh myself naked!”

Me: *bad bad image in head*

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Instructions Are Your Friends

, , | Right | December 29, 2007

(Referring to the payment terminal)

Customer: “It’s not working. What’s wrong with it?”

Me: “What does it say?”

Customer: “It says, ‘Please slide card again’.”

Me: “Well, then slide your card again.”

Customer: “Oh, okay.”

(She slides her card. It works.)

Customer: “Hey it worked!”

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Freak Out At The Check Out

, , | Right | November 13, 2007

Me: “And how would you like to pay for that today?”

Customer: “Debit.”

Me: “Okay, the stripe faces me.”

(She swipes card with the stripe facing her; tries again)

Customer: “Sh*t. Sh*t!!”

(The register times out)

Me: “Hold on; okay, try again. Stripe goes toward me.”

(She finally swipes the card successfully)

Customer: “Where’s the ‘OK’ button?” *pushes the green sticker below the ‘OK’ button*

Me: “It’s the green button.”

(She figures out how to press the button, but then incorrectly types her pin number)

Customer: “Oh God! Oh God, oh my God! SH*T!”

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Damaged Goods, And We’re Not Talking Groceries

, , , | Right | November 12, 2007

(A coworker is bagging groceries as I ring them up)

Customer: *to my coworker* “Wait! Don’t pack them like that! Honestly, it’s as if no one understands how to pack bags anymore!”

Coworker: *looking down at a loaf of bread on top of some grapefruits in a paper bag* “How do you want them packed?”

Customer: “Clearly the bread needs to go on the bottom! I don’t want the grapefruits to get damaged; they’re fragile!”

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