Someone Please Explain…

, , , , | Right | August 1, 2020

A customer comes in, clearly flustered, and places two separate orders on my belt. She explains that she is shopping for two different “clients” and that she is unfamiliar with how to do it. During the explanation, she becomes somewhat frustrated before I have rung everything. I allow her to explain how she would like them rung, though it is fairly obvious, and begin to ring as we talk. The first order goes through. She is getting ready to pay.

Customer: “Okay, so the first one has food stamps; I don’t think they’re enough, but let’s see…” *swipes card*

Me: “It got declined, but there’s enough for most of this order if you want to pay the rest cash, or we can put something back…”

Customer: “No, no, we’ll just put those hot dogs on the other order and make him pay for them; that’ll fix it.”

Me: “We could have her pay what she can, take the balance off of her card, and then let him pay for his with his food stamps and the little that she has leftover, as well.”

Customer: “Huh? I just want to move the hot dogs so that she can afford the food.”

Me: “I can run this through as one order, take the right amount off of each card, have her pay more, and have him pay less, and it’ll be really easy. Trust me.”

Customer: “No. Just move the hot dogs to the other order. I don’t understand what you’re saying.”

Still not grasping how stupid this woman is…

Me: “If they were both standing in front of me, she had six dollars’ worth of stuff and was one dollar short, I could ring everything up, take her five dollars, and then take his money so that she has none left, and he didn’t have to pay any more than he should have to. Make sense? I can do that with cards, too.”

Customer: “I still don’t get it. Just move the hot dogs to the other order, so she can pay for her order.”

Me: *Resigned* “Okay.”

The customer leaves, and I take a deep breath and let it out before I say hello to the next customer. I’m clearly frustrated.

Me: “Sorry about that. How is your day going?”

Customer #2: “Much better than yours, apparently. Wow, was she stupid! Do you see that kind of thing every day?”

Me: “No, not every day. Some days are special.”

Customer #2: “Thank God, because if you did, they should put out tip jars and let you guys get paid a little more for the service. Nobody should have to put up with that every day, no matter who they are.”

Normally, the exchange with the first customer would put me in a bad mood for most of the shift, but because the next customer understood, I was able to shake it off in five minutes flat. Thank you!

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Check Yourself Before You Self-Checkout, Part 3

, , , , , | Right | August 1, 2020

I am at a bulk retailer using the self-check system. I am scanning my items when the attendant sees me and darts over toward me.

Attendant: “Sir, make sure you—”

And then I beep on a multi-pack of sauce.

Attendant: “Wow, you’re the first person all day to scan that sticker. If you scan the UPC on the jar, it crashes the system and the manager has to reboot it. It takes at least fifteen minutes and it’s why I’m over here.”

As she states that, I see a guy behind her pick up the same jars of sauce and I try to tell him.

Me: “Sir, use the one on the top—”

Beep! He scans the wrong one, crashing that system. The attendant looks crushed as the customer begins to yell at her for the system not working. I interrupt him mid-sentence.

Me: “Stop that. It’s not her fault you couldn’t scan the huge sticker on top that says three-pack. She’s doing a great job and was telling me and I attempted to tell you before you did it. You need to read if you’re going to self-check your items.”

He turned a couple of shades of red and backed down. She guided him to a register that was still working. On my way out, I thanked her again for her help and told her boss she was doing a great job.

Check Yourself Before You Self-Checkout, Part 2
Check Yourself Before You Self-Checkout

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What’s The Opposite Of An Extreme Couponer?

, , , , , | Right | August 1, 2020

I’m a cashier at a very cheap retail chain. Despite the prices, we do take coupons, but we are very strict about them and any bad coupons are counted as a till shortage. A customer comes up to my register with peas, detergent, toothpaste, soap, chocolate milk, and a stack of coupons. I ring her up and she picks up her bag of items and holds them away from me.

Me: “Okay, it’s going to be [price].”

Customer: “No, it’s not; I have coupons!”

Me: “Okay, then, I’m going to need to see your coupons and your items.”

Customer: “What? Why? Can’t you just scan them?”

Me: “No, sorry, we have to check the coupons and make sure they apply to the items.”

Customer: “I don’t have time for this. Fine, just check them.”

She hands me back the bag. I start to check the items against the coupons.

Me: “Right, this one isn’t going to work—”

Customer: “That’s not true!”

Me: “It is; the coupon says right here that it’s for a six-pack of chocolate milk and you have just one.”

Customer: “Fine, I don’t want it, then.”

Me: “Okay, then. This coupon isn’t going to work, either; this is for a bigger soap than we carry.”

Customer: “Ugh!”

Me: “And this one isn’t going to work because this is for a bigger detergent than we carry.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous!”

Me: “This last coupon isn’t going to work, either.”

Customer: “Seriously? Why?”

Me: “Because this is for [Unaffiliated Retail Chain].”

Customer: “This is absurd! You always take these coupons! Can’t you just take them and let me have my items?”

Me: “Sorry, no. It’s store policy and they’re strict about coupons.”

Customer: “But it’s only four items and I need them! Just take them!”

Me: “With all due respect, ma’am, this many bad coupons is enough to get me fired and I’m not willing to lose my job over this. Sorry.”

Customer: “Then just give me the peas!”

She threw the money at me and stormed off in a huff.

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Banking On It Being An Actual Bank, Part 2

, , , , , | Right | July 31, 2020

I’m working in a card store. A man comes up with a “Happy 50th Birthday” card. 

Customer: “I’m going to give you $100, and I want a really crisp $50 back. It’s for my friend’s birthday.”

Me: “Oh, sorry, I don’t think we have any $50s, let alone crisp ones.”

Customer: “Why not?”

Me: *As politely as possible* “Um, well, we’re not a bank, sir.”

Customer: *Huffs* “Fine, then go to the bank, but hurry up.”

Me: “Uh, sorry, sir, but I can’t just leave; I’m the only one here.”

I think that even if I could, we don’t just go to the bank for customers!

Customer: “This is ridiculous! What am I supposed to do, then?!”

Me: “Well, you could go to the bank…”

Banking On It Being An Actual Bank

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Better Have A Big Fat Apology, Part 11

, , , , , | Right | July 30, 2020

I have recently been hit by a gluten allergy that makes me break out in hives and makes the bottom of my feet swell up, so it can be hard to walk. It means I have to be careful about everything I buy, so a lot of my items are marked gluten-free on the container. I’m putting things on the conveyer belt with a growing line behind me. Behind me is a woman who has made rude noises behind me the whole time.

Cashier: “Your total is [high total].”

Me: *Laughing* “Ouch, that’s a kick to the bank account. It kills me that they make gluten-free food so expensive.”

The woman behind me glares at my heavyset body.

Woman: “Maybe if you didn’t follow the diet trends.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Woman: “I know you fatties think that these fad diets are going to help you. Maybe if you actually put the candy bars down and started being active, you wouldn’t need these diets.”

Cashier: “Ma’am, you’re being rude.”

The customer behind this rude woman speaks up.

Customer: “If you’d look at the spots on her arm, you’d also realize you’re an ignorant b****.”

Woman: *Offended* “Who the f*** are you to talk to me like that? Fat b**** is complaining about high prices.”

Me: “Yeah, I am, because I have to buy this food. I’m gluten intolerant. I break out in hives all over my body if I have it. So I have to eat it so I don’t build up and have my f****** tongue swell up in my mouth.”

Woman: “You’re a f****** liar.”

Me: “I have pictures of my swollen tongue on my phone if you want proof.”

Customer: “Maybe if you’d stop being judgmental, b****, you wouldn’t be making assumptions. Besides, your fat a** could also stand to lose some pounds.”

Woman: *Getting red-faced* “F*** you!”

She slams her cart into my side, which makes me have to stand on my sore foot.

Cashier: “Ma’am, you need to leave now before I call the manager over here.”

Woman: “F*** you, too! F*** all of you. I’m going to find the manager myself!”

As I left, she was standing with the manager, yelling and pointing at me. The manager approached me about hitting the woman and verbally assaulting her just as I was going out. The cashier and I explained the situation to him and he ended up calling the police when she punched him and stormed out. On the plus side, I got a free gift card to the store.

Better Have A Big Fat Apology, Part 10
Better Have A Big Fat Apology, Part 9
Better Have A Big Fat Apology, Part 8
Better Have A Big Fat Apology, Part 7
Better Have A Big Fat Apology, Part 6

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