Now Serving Sour Grapes

, , , , , | Right | October 7, 2018

(I am bagging for one of the cashiers. One lady comes up with a bag of two kinds of grapes. Due to policy, the cashiers have to weigh them separately, even if they cost the same. My coworker carefully pulls out one of the sets of grapes and sets it on a paper towel so she can weigh it.)

Customer: “What are you doing?!”

Coworker: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we have to weigh the grapes separately.”

Customer: “I want new grapes! You touched them!”

Coworker: *looks really confused at this point* “Ma’am—”

Customer: “You know what? Never mind!”

(The transaction gets finished, the customer leaves, and both of us are dead confused.)

Me: “What the heck was that about?”

Coworker: “I have no idea, but it seems like she doesn’t know you’re supposed to wash grapes… or how many people stick their hands in those bags.”

Has Twenty-Twenty Vision

, , , , , | Right | October 7, 2018

(I am working the express lane for those who have twenty items or less. I really hate being on it because I often get customers with a lot more due to the fact that the sign is hard to see. I try to have them leave by letting them know ASAP so I’m not wasting their time, but sometimes I don’t notice them in time and let them through, which clearly frustrates the customers with only a few things. I am ringing up a customer with only a few items and there is no one else in my line. A woman with a full cart comes in.)

Me: “Uh, ma’am, this line is only for twenty items or less.”

(She stares at me, and I quickly revert my attention back to the customer I was helping, assuming that she is going to leave. However, she doesn’t and starts to put her stuff on the belt.)

Customer: “Oh! This is for twenty items or less.”

(She then proceeds to SEPARATE ALL HER ITEMS BY TWENTY. As she is doing this, the store progressively starts getting busy as a stream of customers with only a few items in their hands make their way to my register.)

Me: *whispers* “Kill me now, please.”

A Criminal Can’t Change Their Stripes

, , , , , , | Legal | October 5, 2018

I’m a cashier in a department store, working at one of the registers near the exit door. I often exchange light-hearted banter with the customers, which most have no problems with. One cold winter day I had a young man come through my line, and his only purchase was a balaclava, a stocking cap which covers all of the head but the eyes and mouth.

During the transaction, I commented about how cold it was and it seemed like a wise purchase. He nodded but didn’t say anything. As I finished the transaction I jokingly said, “Now, I don’t want to read in the news about a robber wearing a black balaclava with a blue stripe!” Immediately, the customer froze and glared at me for a moment, then grabbed the bag containing his purchase and practically ran out the door, depositing the bag in the trashcan on the way by.

Oops!

Needs To Check Him-Selfie

, , , , , , | Right | October 5, 2018

(It’s a busy but fairly normal shift. After a mad rush of customers it quietens down, and a man in his twenties comes to my till with a “selfie phone case.”)

Me: “That’s £12.99 for that, please.”

(He places two £1 coins and a few 20p coins on the counter. I count them out and look at him expectantly. After a few moments I realise he isn’t going to get out an extra £10.)

Me: “Sorry, it’s £12.99.”

(He still looks gone-out, and then seems to realise he hasn’t got enough.)

Customer: “What am I supposed to do, then?”

Me: “Do you have any extra cash or a debit card?”

(The man ignores me and turns instead to a customer just passing.)

Customer: “Have you got 10p?”

Passing Customer: “What?”

Customer: “I need 10p!”

Passing Customer: “Sorry.”

(The customer leaves, looking baffled.)

Me: “It’s ten pounds, sir.”

(An elderly lady has just joined the queue. He turns to her, instead.)

Customer: “Got £10?”

Elderly Lady: “Pardon?”

Customer: “Can I have £10?”

(Understandably, the lady is looking a little intimidated and confused.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, you can’t ask other customers to give you the cash. I can save the item for you behind the till until you do have the money, if you prefer.”

Customer: “Okay. I’ll sort something out.”

(He went, and I apologised to the elderly lady. The man returned about fifteen minutes later, but went to a colleague, and this time he bought a pack of chocolate. I still don’t know why he expected other customers to give him the money, and I don’t know why he thought £3 was enough to pay for something worth £12.99 in the first place. It was clearly labelled on the product and the shelf!)

Coded Incorrectly

, , , | Right | October 5, 2018

(I work on the checkouts of my local supermarket. Our return policy isn’t strictly enforced because it’s mainly regulars that have accidentally picked up the wrong item or have a broken item. A man I’ve never seen before approaches my checkout with a frozen item, and after I finish serving another customer, I approach him.)

Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”

Customer: “I bought the wrong frozen pastry.

Me: “Okay, did you have the receipt with you?”

Customer: “No, but if you scan the barcode it will tell you when I bought it.”

(I’m dumbfounded. That is not how barcodes work, and I try to explain that to him. As I am doing so there is a line forming at my checkout. The man calls his partner, who obviously sent him up to get the right product.)

Customer: *on the phone, as I’m serving the surge of new customers* “She says that’s not how barcodes work…”

(It was obvious that his partner was arguing with him, telling him that I was wrong. In the end I did not put the refund through and I haven’t seen him since.)

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