High, How Are You?

, , , , , | | Right | July 4, 2019

(A customer comes up to my till, and I greet him like I normally would.)

Me: “Hi, how are you today?”

Customer: “I’m high. How are you?”

(I burst out laughing.)

Customer: *smiling* “Betcha weren’t expecting that.”

Me: “Nope, I definitely wasn’t. I’m doing well, sir. Not as well as you, though.”

Now Listen Here, Sugar

, , , , | | Right | July 4, 2019

(The registers at the store where I work are set up so that customers unload onto the belt and then bring their cart forward so that the cashier can place the items back in it as they’re scanned. This customer, however, has brought up twice as much stuff as she can afford and is loading it onto the belt one item at a time to keep track of her spending, so I just scan it and leave it all on the belt while she decides what she wants. There is quite a high pile when the customer holds up a large bag of sugar with a hole in it. She flips it so that the hole is facing down and a steady stream of sugar is pouring out.)

Customer: “There’s a hole in this sugar.”

Me: “Okay, did you want to give it to me to ring up and grab another one?”

Customer: *still holding it upside down so sugar pours out* “No, I don’t want it.”

Me: “If you flip it over, it’ll stop.”

Customer: *looks at me blankly, still pouring the sugar*

(I reach up over the pile of stuff and across the belt to grab the sugar. By this point, the bag is half empty and sugar is all over her cart and all over the floor. The customer rolls her cart past the register and up another seven feet or so, so that I have to carry her large items over to it one by one. She glares at me the whole time that I’m doing this.)

Me: “Have a nice day.”

Customer: *glares, takes receipt, rolls through the sugar again, and leaves without another word*

The Land Of The Free To Moan

, , , , , , | | Right | July 4, 2019

(I am working on the 4th of July while I am in high school. I volunteer to work this shift since I know there won’t be anyone in and because I have no plans. The only people in the entire store are a manager, a custodian, one employee for all the specialty sections (bakery, deli, etc.), and me.)

Me: “Hello, and welcome to [Grocery Store].”

Customer: “You must be a Democrat, not celebrating the birth of our nation; how dare you!”

(Store policy says to not get involved in confrontations.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. But the store must stay open to help all our customers.”

Customer: “Well, I’ve got a party to get to so let’s hurry this up.”

(I finish up scanning her items and I’m bagging them myself, so it’s going a bit slow.)

Customer: “Can’t you call anyone over to help? This is taking too long!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but it’s a holiday, everyone wanted to be with their families, and I’m the only one working the registers today.”

Customer: “This is terrible service! You should have made other workers come in today!”

That Story Took A Turn

, , , , | | Right | July 3, 2019

(I’m standing in line to pay at the supermarket. There is one customer in front of me, when suddenly an older woman starts putting her groceries in front of mine on the belt. She then turns to me and starts yelling at me:)

Old Woman: “Didn’t your parents ever teach you to respect your elders? You should’ve seen me coming and offered me your place in line. Now I have to take it myself. That’s just rude!”

(I’m just standing there, speechless. Meanwhile, the cashier is finished with the person who was originally in front of me and starts taking my purchases instead of the older woman’s.)

Old Woman: “What are you doing? Do you know how rude you’re being?! Haven’t your parents taught you respect?!”

Cashier: “Maybe not to your standards, but they did teach me to always wait my turn. Don’t worry; you can still learn that lesson.”

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So THAT’S Why There Are So Many Nazis Lately!

, , , , , | | Right | July 3, 2019

(I am working the customer service area of a large grocery store — the small booth that sells smokes and lotto tickets. A customer walks up and I start to check him out.)

Customer: “You aren’t charging me for the bag.”

Me: “Yeah, I am.”

Customer: “No, seriously, you aren’t charging me for a bag.”

(It’s a five-cent charge that some places in Ontario have banned and some still use.)

Customer: “It’s a scam, you know; the price is built into the cost of the groceries. So, you are scamming us.”

(I smile and now while he’s going on about this.)

Customer: “So, as I said, it’s a scam. You are scamming me.”

Me: “I just do as I’m told, sir.”

Customer: “That’s what the Nazis said.”

(I stood there flabbergasted for a moment, but later had a few laughs with my coworkers about being called a Nazi. “Wage-slave” might have been a better term. My wife was right POed when I got home and told her about it.)

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