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We Ask For ID Religiously

, , , , , , | Right | January 15, 2023

My coworker is serving a customer. Suddenly, the customer shouts:

Customer: “I don’t have to show ID! I am the LORD!” *Storms out*

Coworker: “I don’t think the Lord would be trying to buy a can of chewing tobacco.”

To Give Credit Where Debit Is Due, Part 7

, , , , | Right | January 14, 2023

I work at a big box discount retail chain. I finish ringing up an elderly customer, and he inserts his card into our card machine. A few moments of silence go by.

Me: “It looks like our PIN pad is asking for some information on your end.”

The customer looks at the PIN pad screen.

Customer: “It’s asking if I want credit or debit.”

I nod at him, certain he’ll choose whichever corresponds to his card. He doesn’t say anything.

Me: “So, go ahead and select which one your card is.”

Customer: *Pointing to his card* “This is a debit card.”

Me: “Uh… okay.”

Customer: “So, would I press debit?”

Internal facepalm ensues.

To Give Credit Where Debit Is Due, Part 6
To Give Credit Where Debit Is Due, Part 5
To Give Credit Where Debit Is Due, Part 4
To Give Credit Where Debit Is Due, Part 3
To Give Credit Where Debit Is Due, Part 2

Express-Lane Their Opinion, Part 2

, , , , | Right | January 13, 2023

I am working the express checkout lane: fifteen items or less. A customer approaches me with a full cart.

Customer: “This is the express lane?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “Good, I need to be quick.”

She starts unloading her items on my belt in a furious flurry.

Me: “Ma’am… Ma’am! It’s fifteen items only per transaction.”

The customer looked at me, looked at her many items, and simply rolled her eyes. She rushed past five other checkout lanes, grabbed some of the dividers used to separate items from different shoppers, and rushed back. She then proceeded to place them between fifteen of her items at a time and then stared at me expectantly.

Annoyingly, my manager made me check her out.

Express-Lane Their Opinion

If Only She’d Been As Sweet As Chocolate

, , , , , , | Right | January 12, 2023

I work as a cashier in a supermarket. A popular candy maker has just released a new chocolate which comes in bars, bags, and boxes. We have a separate stand for the new products with a special offer of four candy bars for 1€. The offer is clearly marked, and the word “chocolate bars” is written twice on the ad sheet next to the bars.

A grumpy-looking lady and her teenage son come to my register with a full cart. Everything goes fine, they pay, and then the lady looks at the receipt.

Customer: “This is the wrong price!”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, I will check that right away. Could you tell me which product it is?”

Customer: “This is always a problem here! Always! Your discounts never scan right!”

Me: “I am very sorry, I will—”

Customer: *Interrupting me* “I feel like you are trying to cheat me every time! Look here, I have four boxes of [Brand] chocolate. They were meant to be four for 1€, and you charged me the full price!”

That’s about 3.5€ per box.

Me: “I am sorry for the misunderstanding, but the ad clearly states that the discount is for four chocolate bars. Boxes are more expensive and unfortunately not part of the discount.”

Customer:No, it does not! It said all new [Brand] chocolate products are four for 1€. This is a scam! I can’t believe this! You have no idea about your own campaigns. I want you to go and check the ad next to the chocolate. It will prove that I am right!”

A long line has formed behind the lady and people are starting to look annoyed. I am not permitted to leave my register while it’s open, so I have to call and ask a colleague to go and check the ad.

Me: “My colleague will go and check the ad for you. Could it be possible for me to serve the person behind you while you wait? They only have a few items.”

Customer: No! You are serving me now. Unbelievable! They always try to cheat you about discounts…”

She goes on in a similar vein and tries to get the customers behind her to agree with her. My colleague calls and confirms that — surprise, surprise — the ad says, “Chocolate bars”.

Me: “I am sorry, but the ad clearly states that the discount is for chocolate bars. Would you like to return the boxes?”

Customer: It does not!

The customer’s son, who looks really embarrassed, speaks up.

Customer’s Son: “Yeah, it did, Mom. I saw it.”

Customer: *Pauses* “Well… I… The ad was placed misleadingly! It was right next to the stand with all the new chocolates. How was I supposed to know which are discounted and which are not?!”

Me: “Because it is written on the ad sheet?”

Customer: *Condescendingly* “Do you think that I have time to read all the ads? I would be here for hours!”

The customer behind her in line speaks up now.

Customer #2: “If it takes you hours to read the words ‘chocolate bar,’ maybe you should do less shopping and go back to f****** primary school?”

The lady just glared and left with her bags and full-priced chocolates. Unfortunately, she became our regular after that for some reason and was almost always as cheerful as in this story.

Not Quite My Tempo

, , , | Right | January 9, 2023

We have a lot of different types of sales running at the moment, and a few of the coupons can’t combine. I am checking out a customer and try to explain this.

Me: “Sir, just so you know I can only apply these two coupons together. This third one won’t work with this purchase but you can save it for the next one.”

Customer: “Okay, I’m gonna need you to be on my level with me here. It’s okay, you didn’t know, but now you do, so you need to be on my level with me, okay?”

Uh… what?

Me: “Yes… sir? So, you want to use these two coupons only?”

Customer: “No, all three! I thought you were on my level with me.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but it’s either these two together, or just this one. I can’t combine all three.”

Customer: “That’s not quite my level though, is it? Look, you didn’t know before, but now you do. I’m like… up here.” *He gestures high up.* “And you’re like, down here.” *He gestures low down.* “I’m gonna need you to get on my level and make all three of those coupons work, okay?”

Me: “Sir, I—”

Customer: “Get on my lev—”

At this point my checkout manager, who had come over to check on something speaks over him.

Checkout Manager: “—Oh my god, if you say “get on my level” one more time I am personally cancelling your entire transaction! Two coupons, or just this one. That’s it! No other options! You’re not on a level, you’re on a downward spiral, so get off it and pick one!”

The customer was too shocked to combat this, and so we applied the two coupons and he left in silence. The next customer starts pushing through their items.

Next Customer: *Gesturing to the leaving customer.*Thank God! I thought he might have been having a stroke!”