Generosity Which Knows No Bounds

, , , , , | Right | January 20, 2009

(We are having a toy drive. If you buy and donate any $5 toy, you can receive 20% off your entire purchase. A woman wearing a fur coat is buying five bags of toys.)

Me: “Ma’am, would you be interested in donating a toy today? Since your total comes to $400, you’d save $80–”

Customer: *angrily* “My husband and I donate to CHARITY, so I don’t think I need to be guilt-tripped into your awful little toy drive!”

Me: “Your total is $400, then.”

Customer: “Is there any way I can get a discount?”

Me: “No… No, I’m afraid not.”


This story is part of our Customers Who Dislike Charity roundup!

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We Have Confirmation

, , | Right | January 7, 2009

(Our credit card machine went down, and we start to make signs for the doors alerting the customers to this. Before the signs get up, I have to ring up a customer’s order.)

Me: “The total is [total]. I’m sorry; our credit card machine is down.”

Customer: “Well, I don’t see any signs!”

Me: “The machine just broke five minutes ago while you were still in line. I was just telling my coworker to make signs a moment ago…”

Customer: “I don’t have enough cash. How about debit?”

Me: “Well, debit would use the same machine as the credit cards, but either way our store does not accept debit. Just cash today.”

Customer: “How about a check?”

Me: “Sorry, no personal checks. Just cash today.”

Customer: *getting upset now* “Well, what do you expect me to do?”

Me: “The last customer went next door to use the ATM to get cash.”

Customer: “You’re being extremely rude, you know!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m just trying to explain to you that the credit card machine is down.”

Customer: “Well, I don’t listen!”

Me: “…”

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Whole Grain, Half A Brain

, , | Right | October 28, 2008

(At our natural foods store, a customer swipes her card through the debit machine and is looking at me funny.)

Customer: “Um… where is the stylus?”

Me: “This machine doesn’t have one; we have a pen to sign anything. Did you want that as credit?”

Customer: “No, I want to enter my PIN but I don’t understand how I am supposed to do that with no stylus.”

Me: “Oh, well… you just press the buttons.”

Customer: “You mean I have to use my fingers?!”

Me: “Yes, you use your fingers…”

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Moms: Gotta Love ‘Em

, , | Right | October 19, 2008

(My mother told me this story, which happened to her as a cashier when she was in college.)

Mom: “Are you going to pay for that other soda?”

Male Customer: “What soda?”

Mom: “The one in your pants?”

Male Customer: “That’s not a soda; that’s my penis!”

Mom: “If that’s your penis, I am going home with you right now!”

Male Customer: *slams soda on the counter and walks out*

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Please Do Not Manhandle The Employees

, , , , | Right | October 6, 2008

(It’s very busy at the grocery store, so I hop on cash and take the first customer who walks by. Another customer in the lane behind me grabs my arm and wrenches me around so I am facing her.)

Customer: “Excuse me, did you just open that cash to serve that customer?”

Me: “Yes, it’s very busy right now.”

Customer: “Idiot! When you open a cash you take the first customer in the other line, not the last!”

(Keep in mind this customer has already unloaded her items in a different lane.)

Me: “I’m very sorry, ma’am… As you can see, it’s very busy right now and I just took the first customer I saw.”

Customer: “Well! That’s very poor customer service!”

(She grabs my arm and physically turns me around so I’m facing my original customer again. I continue with their order.)

Customer: “No! I’m not done!”

(She grabs my arm again and turns me around to face her.)

Customer: “What is your name?! I’m going to talk to your manager! Call him down here now!”

Me: “I’ll call the duty manager right away.”

Customer: “No! I want the STORE Manager! Call him down here now!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but he’s gone home for the evening.”

Customer: “Fine! I’m coming back here at 9:00 tomorrow morning, and I expect you to be here too so we can meet with your manager about your terrible customer service!”

Me: “Okay! You’ll be here at 9? How about we meet at the police station at 10, and we can meet with them about the bruises you just gave me?” *rolls up sleeve to show the red marks*

Customer: “I… uh…”

(She grabbed my arm one last time and turned me back to my cash. I finished her order and she rushed out of the store.)

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