Make Sure No Tomatoes Are Squished, Or You Answer To Big Boss Sis

, , , , , | Right | October 12, 2018

(A guest walks up to my lane with nothing but a produce bag filled as full as possible with tomatoes. My store is strange in that we sell produce by quantity, not weight.)

Me: “Hello! Do you happen to know how many tomatoes you have here?”

Customer: *shrugs* “Don’t speak good English.”

Me: “All right. One moment.”

(As I begin counting the tomatoes, the customer speaks to me in a combination of Russian and broken English. I can only make out one phrase repeated multiple times.)

Customer: “Sister big boss.”

Me: “So, twenty-one tomatoes. Your total is [price].”

(I soon found out he was a regular, always getting a bag filled to the brim with produce — usually tomatoes, but occasionally bananas — and always talking about his big boss sister.)

The Generation Blame

, , , , , | Right | October 9, 2018

(I work at a grocery store, and at least once a week I get a special customer that makes me doubt my faith in humanity. I have cerebral palsy. This special customer sets her items in front of my register.)

Customer: “Young lady, what are you doing sitting on the job?”

Me: “I’m in a wheelchair.”

Customer: “Why? Were you texting behind the wheel or something?”

Me: “I—”

Customer: “Don’t give me that crap. I know how your generation is. My son’s in prison, and I guess people these days don’t know how to raise kids.”

(The customer rants some more about how millennials don’t take responsibility for their actions and how her son is a good boy.)

Me: “I have cerebral palsy.”

Customer: “Get those hand brace things or whatever that kid uses on [Popular TV Show about a cancer patient who decides to found a drug empire]. Why do you need a wheelchair?”

Me: “Why do you need all that junk food?”

(The special customer stormed out of the store.)


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We Have No Remorse For Your Buyer’s Remorse

, , | Right | October 9, 2018

Customer: “How much is it for [item]?”

Me: “$299.00.”

Customer: “Hm, okay.”

(She buys it, and the next day comes back in.)

Customer: “I don’t think I liked that price.”

Me: “Sorry?”

Customer: “On [item].”

Me: “I’m sorry. Was the item broken?”

Customer: “No, it worked.”

Me: “Did you not like the item?”

Customer: “No. It’s the price I don’t like.” *sees my puzzled face* “I just think it’s too high, that’s all! And, I could’ve spent it on my rent. I’ll come back to speak with the manager about it, and let him know.” *leaves*

(I told my manager, and he laughed and said that buyer’s remorse is extremely common. First time it happened to me!)

Bags Of Indecision

, , , , , | Right | October 8, 2018

(By law, we now charge 5p for carrier bags. I begin to serve a customer who has quite a few items with her.)

Me: *while scanning items* “Would you like a bag for these? They’re five pence.”

Customer: *retorting* “No. I’m not paying five pence for a bag!”

Me: *politely* “Okay, then, that will be [amount], please.”

(The lady pays for her items, and just as she’s about to take them:)

Customer: “Excuse me?! Where is my bag?!”

Me: “…”

This Coupon Will Cost You An Arm And A Jeg

, , , | Right | October 8, 2018

(I am a supervisor at a kids’ clothing store that has a very relaxed dress code. Despite this, I still like to dress nice. Today, I am wearing a nice dress, with leggings since it gets a bit too short when I bend down. I am ringing out a customer and making small talk about her day and purchases, as I’m supposed to.)

Me: “Oh, I love these pink jeggings. They are adorable and so soft!”

Customer: “Yeah, well, I wish they had more options for little girls. I don’t think they need to be wearing tight things like this.” *glares at me up and down* “I don’t even think adult women should wear them.”

Me: *half smile* “To each their own, I suppose.”

Customer: “Do you have any extra coupons I could use?”

Me: “Nope.”

(I have all the coupon codes memorized. I gladly help customers out if they ask and are pleasant. Word to the wise: always be pleasant to your cashier; we have more control than you think.)


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