A mother is paying at the checkout.

Mom: “Oh, wait! I have a coupon!”

She grabs her phone from her little boy, maybe four or five years old, who has been keeping himself occupied with it. 

Child: “Mom! I want to use your phone!”

Mom: “Not now. Mommy is using it for the coupon.”

Child: “Why do you have a phone and I don’t? You don’t have that many friends.”

Related:
The Couponator 44: The Clapback
The Couponator 43: The Visionary Gossiper
The Couponator 42: The Malicious Complier
The Couponator 41: The Saga Of The Long-Suffering Wife
The Couponator 40: Armageddon

Customer: “I was waiting in line for a long time.” 

Me: “Sorry, the last customer paid with a check, and I haven’t done one of those in a while. It kinda blindsided me.”

Customer: “Oh, so [Store] hires people who use disabilities as an insult, do they?”

Me: “I… uh… No, it’s just a phrase.”

Customer: “The N-word was once just a phrase!”

Me: “Pretty sure that was always a derogatory insult from the beginning. ‘Blindsided’ just means—”

Customer: “I know what it means and stop saying it!”

Me: “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to cause offense.”

I process the transaction in silence.

Customer: “That item is supposed to be 10% off!”

Me: “Oh, that sale actually starts tomorrow, but I can apply the discount now for you.”

Customer: “Seriously, so dumb.”

The customer was sadly… blind to the irony.

Related:
Deaf To Reason, Part 16
Deaf To Reason, Part 15
Deaf To Reason, Part 14
Deaf To Reason, Part 13
Deaf To Reason, Part 12

I am a fairly newly adult-aged person, not yet independent due to severe life complications that are outside the scope of this site. I am out with my grandparents, and they decide to have me go into the grocery store with $5 to buy some ice.

I go into the store — which, at this point, I’ve never done on my own — and go to get the ice. I go to the checkout line, and since I have a massive sweet tooth, a candy catches my eye. I decide to grab it and hope I can afford it with the ice.

Next to the big bag of ice, the candy is very small. This, combined with a look at the screen, tips me off that the cashier has failed to notice the candy. I ask as much, and the cashier confirms my suspicions and adds it to the bill. It turns out that I can’t afford both the candy and the ice with the money allotted.

Obviously, my plan is to (somewhat sadly) put the candy away, since I’m not completely uncivilized, but a nearby employee is watching all this… and decides they’ll cover the cost of the candy for me. Thank you, kind employee!

Me: “Oh, that’s such a lovely dining set! And you’re in luck as that’s half off this week!”

Customer: “No, thank you. Full price, please.” 

Me: “You… don’t want to pay the sale price?”

Customer: “No, I don’t want the sale. I need to be able to tell my friends at dinner how much I spent on this. Why are you trying to take that away from me?” 

Wow, rich people really do have different problems.

A mother is checking out, and her little girl, maybe three years old, is toddling about touching everything she finds interesting.

Mom: “Don’t touch that display, [Girl]. You’ll knock it over and ruin it.”

The little girl waddles over to me instead and beams a huge smile up at me.

Little Toddler: “Mommy has a vagina!”

Me: “Uh…”

Little Toddler: “Mommy said I crawled out of it and ruined it!” 

Mom: *Sighing, to me* “That’s not the only thing she’s ruining.”