I Live At This Register Now

, , , , | | Right | July 9, 2019

(There are two tiers of cashiers. Stay at the company long enough and you get promoted with extra pay and trained on how to do returns, which are typically handled at the Customer Service desk unless it’s busy. Cashiers on [Registers #1 and #2] may also process returns, but only if they’ve received the training for it. I’m a seasonal hire, so I’m the lowest tier of cashier and don’t have returns training. One day, I’m put on [Register #1].)

Customer: “Hi. I’d like to return this.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, but you’ll have to go to the Customer Service desk to return this.”

Customer: “But I came here the other day and got a return processed at this register. Why can’t you do it?”

Me: “It has to do with the cashier, not the register, I’m afraid. I haven’t received the training to do returns. Whoever did the return for you last time must have had the training. But both of the ladies over at the Customer Service desk can help you today.”

Customer: *annoyed* “I still don’t see why you can’t do it… I came here last time.”

Me: *sigh*

Fuelling Their Anger

, , , , | | Right | July 9, 2019

(A customer comes in with a gift card he won at a convention. While it is a card we take, it is generally used for diesel purchases and he has already pumped his gasoline. This conversation happens after I’ve tried running it several different ways and calling the card company.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, it looks like this card won’t run. Do you have another way to pay?”

Customer: “This is bulls***! Run it again!”

Me: “Sir, I’ve already tried every way I know to run it. I’ve called the issuing company and they couldn’t do anything, either. Are you sure it had money on it?”

Customer: “Of course it did! I just won it in a drawing! How long have you even worked here?!”

(This question happens a lot when customers get mad and try and bully any of the girls working. I’m generally pretty easygoing and soft-spoken, but this always gets me riled up.)

Me: *smiling* “Five years.”

Customer: “Oh… Well, fine, here’s the cash!”

(He threw his money on the counter. Unfortunately, he came back the next night. A truck driver stepped in and bought the card off of him before he could get too mad. I always wondered if he got ripped off!)

Mean Girls Go North

, , , , , | | Right | July 8, 2019

(I live in Canada. I’m standing behind a young girl buying some pop and candy when her two friends push in front of me to buy items after her. I don’t say anything, but I sort of roll my eyes; I am used to it as I live in a small town that is flooded with tourists in the summer.)

Young Girl: “You don’t take American money?”

Cashier: “No, I’m sorry, we aren’t set up for it. Not all stores here do.”

Young Girl: “Well, what ones do?”

Cashier: “I’m not sure really.”

(She continues to ring the items through and I pipe up since I know some of the stores that do.)

Me: “[Store #1] does, as well as [Store #2].”

(The kids don’t acknowledge me, so I stop trying to be helpful.)

Young Girl: “You charge for bags?”

Cashier: “Yes, it’s a five-cent charge for each plastic bag.”

(The young girls all gave her a dirty look and left, leaving their cart right in front of me so I had to push it into the bagging area before the cashier could serve me. It’s exceedingly frustrating because I am married to an American, and I hate it when someone makes them all look like jerks. Later I found out there were about 30 of these girls and their parents in town for a short stay. Lovely.)

When “That Never Happened” Never Happened

, , , , , , , | | Right | July 8, 2019

(I work at an extremely well-known big box retailer known for having virtually everything and a very lenient price-matching policy. However, if I am told a price that I think is incorrect, I am allowed to ask what store it’s from and make sure it’s not ludicrous.)

Me: *preparing to scan an item*

Customer: “…and that’s [price that seems too low].”

Me: “Okay, sir, and which store is that from?”

Customer: “I don’t have to tell you that! The [Company] policy says I don’t have to tell you!”

Me: “Actually, sir, I can ask, and the store you are asking me to price match must be within 50 miles of this store.”

Customer: “No, it says in the policy I don’t have to, and I happen to know insider information about this kind of thing because my ex-wife is the store manager of one of these stores in New York, so you are wrong. I have the personal phone numbers of all sorts of people in the corporate office, and I can get anyone I want fired.”

(I go ahead and give him the price — it is busy and my supervisor has asked me to send someone home at another register — finish out his order, and give him his receipt while he continues to tell me his story.)

Customer: *becoming more smug by the moment* “Once, a cashier at another store, not here, wouldn’t honor the sign saying the pants I wanted to buy were $3 and told me I’d have to pay $15, and it was 3:00 in the morning, mind you, and I made her get her supervisor. Her supervisor told me that I couldn’t pay $3 for the pants and would have to pay $15, and I asked her if she was sure about that because there are laws in this country that require companies to have truth in advertising, and she said she was just doing her job. I told her I had the personal number of [Executive that does not actually exist], and I would be perfectly happy to call him, and I did, and he screamed at her on the phone and told her she’d be fired if she didn’t make me happy! Then she had the cashier change the price for me.”

Me: “Ah, yes… I—”

Customer: *positively gleeful* “Then, that manager told me I am a horrible person! And if you think that’s bad, when my wife was an assistant manager at a [Company] in California, her boss was a gay man who decided he hated women and sexually harassed my wife, and I called [Executive that doesn’t exist], and he not only fired that man and promoted my wife, he made that gay man unemployable in the state of California!”

(I was completely unable to figure out how to extricate myself from this conversation, which actually took over 15 minutes and nearly cost me my break, and in addition, the person I was supposed to relieve wound up being sent home by the supervisor because I couldn’t get away from this man. I found out later from a friend of mine that he comes in all the time and tries to pull that crap on people, and none of it is true.)

Kombucha: Heavy Refreshment

, , , , , , | | Right | July 5, 2019

(I work in a grocery store that only bags items in paper bags. Because of this, we try to bag lightly so as to not have the bags broken when carried. I’m bagging someone’s groceries and every bag I put up they demand I bag heavier so they can have fewer bags.)

Customer: “You can put more in there. I don’t want too many bags.”

Me: “Well, ma’am, if I make it heavier it may break when you carry it.”

Customer: “I’ll hold it from the bottom; just make it heavier.”

(I do what she asks because the customer is always right, right? She goes to pick up the first bag, which is full of kombucha bottles, and only grabs one handle instead of both. It breaks immediately and the bottles of kombucha smash all over the floor and all over her shoes.)

Customer: “Oh, goodness! I’m so sorry! Can you clean this up while I get new ones?”

(At least she said sorry.)

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