Our store has sent out a bunch of 10% off coupons, so we’ve been collecting them all day at the checkout. 

I’ve just finished scanning some items for a couple, and they hand me their coupon.

Customer: “So we get all this for free, right?”

Me: “Huh?”

I then look down on the coupon to see that they’ve modified the percentage total with a pen.

Me: “Wow, that’s impressive. I can understand it would have looked suspect to add a zero after the ten to make it 100% off, considering the lack of space between the zero and the percent symbol. But to instead put another ‘one’ IN FRONT OF the ten to make it 110% off is really optimistic.”

Customer: “What are you talking about? That’s how the coupon came.”

Me: “Ma’am, if this were a 110% coupon, then not only would this $75 purchase be free, we’d also have to give you $7.50 back.”

Customer: *Holds out hand expectantly.*

Me: “No. Just, no.”

Customer: *Glares at her partner as they walk away.* “I told you we should’ve turned the one into a seven, but you had to push it too far!”

Related:
We Can’t Believe They Thought That Would Work, Part 14
We Can’t Believe They Thought That Would Work, Part 13
We Can’t Believe They Thought That Would Work, Part 12
We Can’t Believe They Thought That Would Work, Part 11
We Can’t Believe They Thought That Would Work, Part 10

I was working in a supermarket when a family approached. I started scanning things when I realized the baby in the cart was chewing on one of the clothes tags. It’s so chewed on that I can’t scan it, so I had to type it in. Because the numbers are really small, it’s taking a bit of time.

I was a bit squeamish about touching something that is drenched in a stranger’s saliva.

Mom: “Oh my god! Why is it taking so long?”

Me: “Because I’m trying not to touch your baby’s saliva.”

Mom: “Why can’t you just ignore it?”

Me: “Huh?”

Mom: “She is just four months, she can’t get you sick.”

Me: “I just don’t want to touch that.”

Mom: “I know she is not sick; I’m her mom.”

Me: “If it were my baby’s saliva, I wouldn’t care. But strangers’ saliva just freaks me out, to be honest.”

She was fuming at this point, but I just scanned the remaining items and sent her away. After an hour, my manager asked to speak with me. Turns out she complained; I told her the story, and she was rolling her eyes and told me how much she hates these customers.

I was shopping at a large home improvement store a few years ago. They used to have a particularly nasty woman who worked at the checkouts. You could tell she thought we were all stupid and beneath her. It was very early on a Sunday morning, and I had a cartful of assorted items. I knew some of the items wouldn’t scan. 

The only thing open was the four self-service registers.

Me: “Could I get some help, because I know some of these things won’t scan?”

She didn’t even look up from what she was doing and, in the most condescending voice possible, said:

Employee: “All you have to do is run it over the scanner. Just scan it.”

I scanned my small bag of grass seed. I scanned my bottle of plant food. I scanned the new igniter kit for my grill. Then I grabbed one of the landscaping pavers and plopped it down on the scanner glass. The sound coming from the machine would seem to indicate it wasn’t scanning. I flipped it over and tried the other side. The scanner made more protesting noises. 

I guess I was too vague. The noises I was referring to were the scanner glass breaking. Broken glass was everywhere. 

Now I had every employee in the area rushing over trying to help me. Of course, the manager came over, and they were trying to make a huge scene.

There was another customer who was standing right there who called out the employee and said she was very rude to me when I asked for help.

Other Customer: “She was just following her instructions perfectly!”

I left with all my stuff. I don’t know how long self-serve #3 was out of commission. It was still closed the next weekend. I never saw that employee there again.

At my work, our chip readers don’t work, so we stuck some old refund cards in them with “No Chip” written on them.

I see a lady walk up, stare down at the card, proceed to take it out, put in her card, and then have the gall to shout at me:

Customer: “Hey! The chip reader isn’t working!”

Me: “Same with your brain?”

Customer: “Huh?”

Me: “Never mind. Come here, I’ll get you rung out…”

I worked at a store that specialized in women’s clothes, although they sold other stuff.  I was checking one woman out when she said to me:

Customer: “I don’t even know why you have so many Muslim women working in your clothing department, they obviously don’t care about it!”

Me: “What does their religion have to do with their ability to do their job?”

Customer: “You know… with their head scarves!”

Me: “I’m not following.”

Customer: “Oh, don’t be dense! They’re not allowed to dress up or look pretty! Or their men will beat them!”

Me: “Well, all my Muslim coworkers are in very loving relationships, based on when their husbands have come into the store and how happy their kids are. As for the head scarves, did you even look at some of them? They’ve got some of the most beautiful patterns…”

Customer: “Well, maybe, but that’s just their scarves! I don’t know why they’d be willing to work here when they couldn’t possibly help me in choosing a nice strapless summer dress, for example.”

Me: “Well, we’ve discovered that it’s usually only immigrants who are able to work here and put up with some of our customers’ xenophobic beliefs. It takes a lot to deal with that for less than ten bucks an hour.”

Customer: “I’m not xenophobic!”

Me: “Ma’am, you literally just said all Muslim women are in abusive relationships because they’re Muslim. I’d advise you just pay for what you’re holding and leave.”

Customer: *Pays and starts walking out.* “So sad. You’re the only White girl they’ve got working here, so they must have turned you.”

Me: *To her, as she walks out.* “Turned me? They’re not freakin’ vampires!”