Cents-lessly Cruel

, , , , , , | Right | October 7, 2019

We close at 5:00 pm. Two people come in at 4:55 pm and get a large amount of chocolate, totalling about $122 AUD.

They decide to pay with 20-cent pieces.

Only 20-cent pieces.

Five minutes before closing.

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Cashing In On Your Cashier Experience

, , , , | Right | October 7, 2019

(My flight is delayed and I am buying some snacks. The cashier has a problem with scanning my candy.)

Me: “I guess I picked the one thing on the shelves that doesn’t scan!”

Cashier: “That’s different. Usually, people say, ‘Oh, it must be free,’ when that happens.”

Me: “Oh, well, I used to be a cashier, and I never did like it when people said that to me.”

Cashier: *pauses and smiles widely* “Thank you for waiting for it to come up in the system. Your total is $[total].”

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Finally Registers The Reason Why  

, , , , , , | Right | October 7, 2019

(I am stocking shelves at a pharmacy. An elderly gentleman, at least in his 70s, walks up to me and looks at my nametag.)

Customer: “Mister [My Name], yes, I was wondering if you could open up a register for me?”

(I look at the cashier stands. Two are operating, and the lines are not busy at all.)

Me: “The wait shouldn’t be very long. Is there a problem?”

Customer: “I really just need you to open a register for me, please.”

Me: *very confused* “I assure you, the ladies running the registers right now are competent and will have you out the door in no time.”

Customer: “That’s just it. They are ladies…”

(He turns to me and exposes the large box of condoms he has secreted in his jacket.)

Customer: “I wouldn’t be so brazen!”

Me: “Right this way, sir.”

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A Golden Opportunity… Kinda

, , , , | Right | October 6, 2019

Customer: *holding out a dollar coin* “How much is this worth?”

Me: *confused* “Uh, one dollar.”

Customer: “Ugh!” *pays with the coin and other cash, and leaves*

Me: “D***! This is an actual silver dollar!” *quickly exchanges my own dollar bill for it*

Store Owner: “D*** it, I wanted to buy it out of the register! That’s worth like $20.”

Me: “Too late!”

(Convenience stores are not pawnshops; money is only worth more than face value to collectors, and most 18-year-olds aren’t going to be able to tell you what a rare coin is worth. Upon researching, it’s actually worth at least $150 based on its condition!)

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Crabby About The Prices  

, , , , | Working | October 5, 2019

(This happens in a local supermarket known for its cheap prices. We aren’t posh or rich but my wife does have a love for cooking and is VERY good and adventurous at it. Her parents are coming round for tea so we’ve been food shopping, have just arrived at the till, and are bagging up.)

Cashier: *looking at a small pot of crab meat we’ve chosen* “That can’t be right. Do you know what this is? It’s coming up at £4.50! It’s only small — must have doubled scanned it or something…”

Wife: “No, that’s right. It’s crab meat; it is expensive but we thought we’d treat ourselves tonight.”

Cashier: “Oh, okay.” *scanned a few more things through including two bags of large frozen prawns* “Having anything nice?”

Wife: “We thought we’d try crab and prawn linguine tonight. I’ve got my parents coming round.”

Cashier: *looking puzzled and down her nose at us* “You what? What’s that? Sounds a bit posh to me.”

Wife: “Well, it’s just crab meat and prawns, and linguine is a type of pasta. It’s very nice; you should try it.”

Cashier: “I’m having shepherd’s pie for tea tonight. I always have a baked potato on Sunday and shepherd’s pie on Saturday, but I had some shepherd’s pie leftover yesterday so I’ll have that tonight, too.”

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