A Case Of System-atic Failure

, , , , , | Right | October 12, 2017

(I’m more than halfway through a seven-hour shift, running on five hours of sleep, after a 17-hour day between school and work the previous day. I am supposed to have a cashier to run register, but the cashier hasn’t shown up for any of his shifts this week and we haven’t gotten a hold of him at all, so I am running the front end of the store myself for the entire time. This is right before a snowstorm, so we are unusually busy for a weekend morning. By the time this customer comes up, I am tired, frazzled from trying to help so many different customers at once, almost out of patience, and have more than fulfilled my daily requirement of idiocy. A lady walks up to my register and places a bag of [Store] brand candy and a package of [Popular Brand] Easter marshmallows.)

Customer: “Both of these items are on sale, two for three dollars. They should ring up that price. Make sure they ring up that price.”

Me: “Ma’am, I don’t believe they will ring up like that; these are two different brands, so they are two different sales. They don’t—”

Customer: “I don’t care if they are two different brands! They should ring up two-for-three!”

Me: “Let me ring them up and see how they ring up, but I’m just letting you know that is not typically how the sales work.”

(I ring up the items and run the customer’s store card.)

Me: “It looks like they both ran up at $1.59 each, so it’s close to the two-for-three deal.”

Customer: *slams hands on counter* “They should be two-for-three! What kind of store doesn’t honor their sales?”

Me: “Ma’am, we do honor our sales; however, the sale tags do say that the single purchase price is more than if you buy two and—”

Customer: “I have two!”

Me: “Yes, but they are two different brands. I know it can be confusing, and we get this sometimes with makeup. Like if [Makeup Brand #1] and [Makeup Brand #2] are both on sale, buy one get one half off, and you bought an eyeshadow from both, would you expect to get one of them half off?”

Customer: *nods emphatically* “Yes!”

Me: “Okay. What if there is that same sale on hair dye and [brand] macaroni and cheese? Would you expect to get one of them half off?”

Customer: “Of course!”

(By this time there are about five people behind her that are starting to get impatient. After a couple more tries of explaining it to her…)

Me: “That, unfortunately, is not how the system works. Would you still like both of the products?”

Customer: *throws card at me* “Yes, fine, whatever. And don’t tell me how the system works! I’ve been in the system for fifty years! I know how the system works.”

Me: “Wow, you must have been a loyal customer from the start! The company has only recently celebrated our 50th anniversary! We appreciate your loyalty!” *slight sarcasm*

(She finally grabbed her bags and left, and I was able to greet the next customer. But not before hitting my head against the wall first.)

It Is Possible To Not Like Sports

, , , , , | Working | October 11, 2017

(I am checking out at a grocery store the morning of a big football game.)

Cashier: “You’re not wearing your [Team] gear!”

Me: “Well, I’d have to own some. And care.”

Cashier: *shock*

Sir Dude

, , , , , , | Right | October 11, 2017

(I am 58 years old and in the checkout line. As the twenty-something cashier is scanning my groceries she asks:)

Cashier: “Would you like paper or plastic bags, sir?”

Me: “Plastic.”

Cashier: “Did you find everything today, sir?

Me: “Yes.”

Cashier: “Do you have any coupons, sir?”

Me: “No.”

Cashier: “Do you need any stamps, sir?”

Me: “No.”

Cashier: “Do you have any bottle returns, sir?”

Me: “No.”

Cashier: “That comes to $48.53, sir”

Me: *as I am handing her the cash, I say jokingly* “You know, you keep calling me ‘sir.’ That may make me feel like an old guy.”

Cashier: *handing me my change* “Here’s your change, dude.”

(I cracked up laughing, thanked her, and chuckled the rest of the day when I recalled the event. Thanks for the laugh!)

Hands Off The Merch(ant)

, , , , , | Right | October 9, 2017

(I am working as a cashier at a fast food place during my senior year of high school. One day an older lady comes in with three grandchildren.)

Me: “Good morning! How can I help you?”

Customer: “Just a moment; let’s figure out what we want.”

(She proceeds to talk with the kids and argue about what they want for about five minutes before I finally have everything in the machine.)

Me: “All right, ma’am, if that’s all…”

(I put my hand out for her change and she grabs my hand.)

Me: “Uh…”

Customer: “Not so fast! I still have to order for me.”

(She continues to hold my hand for the duration of the order, even as I try to pull my hand back. Only at the end when she gets her money out do I get my hand released. Needless to say I kept my hands behind the counter for the rest of the order.)

Customer: “Here you are!”

(She apparently saw nothing wrong with what she did, and I was too polite to mention anything. All of my coworkers saw this and teased me for a month, asking where my “girlfriend” was.)

A Special Kind Of Miserable That Lasts All Day

, , , , , | Right | October 6, 2017

(I’m a cashier, and a customer enters my line just past noon.)

Customer: “Good morning!”

Me: “Well, technically it’s not anymore.”

Customer: “Aw, it’s always morning! There are always eight more hours to get things done.”

Me: “But if it was always morning, then I’d always be miserable. Wait, that’s accurate. Good morning, sir.”

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