I work for a bottle shop. Where I live, we have very strict rules on buying alcohol; you MUST have a permit to purchase it, and on top of that, in our store, we are not allowed to accept licenses more than two months out of date. We can be fined and fired and have the business’s liquor license revoked for doing so.

A customer comes in attempting to buy several bottles of wine. She hands me over a license that has expired outside of the okay range.

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I’ll have to refuse this sale. Our company policy doesn’t allow us to accept licenses that are this expired.”

Customer: “The new license is in the mail! I have the paper right here saying so.”

Me: “I can’t accept that. We have to use in-date photo IDs, and this paper is not that.”

She leaves in a huff without putting anything back. I hope this will be the end of it.

But a few days later, the woman comes back. She comes up to my register with her items and starts accosting me.

Customer: “I can’t believe how you wasted my time the other day! I had to go out of my way to get my new license. [Other Shop] let me use my old one! And your coworker let me use it, too! You’re just not very good at your job.”

She continued to grumble about how bad I was at my job.

The other shop we mentioned isn’t affiliated with us at all. My coworker admitted to the customer that letting her use her old ID was a mistake on his part, and that if he had caught it, he wouldn’t have served her.

I work in a grocery store, and we get this request a lot.

Customer: “Put everything in one bag, but don’t make it too heavy.”

All. The. Time. If you only have one bag, I cannot control how much your groceries weigh!

Many years ago, this little old man in a full cassock and collar came up to my register with a purchase. I engage in the usual pleasantries, and he answered in the thickest brogue I had ever heard. Cute as heck. I rang him up and told him his total. He looked at the receipt and his face changed.

Customer: *Angrily* “Why have I been charged sales tax?”

Me: “Oh, do you have a resale card? If you’ll give it to me, I can take the tax off.”

He gave me an exasperated look.

Customer: “Priests don’t pay sales tax!”

He was no longer cute.

Me: “Maybe not in Ireland, but in America, we have the separation of church and state. Everyone pays sales tax.”

He huffed, paid, and doddered out.

It is the early 2000s when UK retailers still commonly accept cheques in payment. Our tills will print the transaction details for the customer, but we will need to handwrite details from their cheque guarantee cards on the reverse of the cheque to process the payment.

A couple comes to my till with a trolley full of various DIY products like wallpaper, paste, and assorted tools coming to a total of around £100. The transaction starts as normal until they provide the cheque guarantee card. This card is of a type I haven’t seen before and I am initially confused until I spot a particular bit of info.

Me: “Pardon me, I think you may have given me the wrong card.”

Customer: *Instantly aggressive* “No, I didn’t. That is definitely my cheque guarantee card.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but if you look at this box, it says, ‘This is not a cheque guarantee card.’”

Customer: “I don’t care what it says. That’s what the bank gave us and is definitely my check guarantee card. Just take it!”

Me: “Do you have some other form of payment? I really don’t think I can take this card.”

Customer: “No, I don’t! You have to take it.”

Me: “Let me go speak to my boss and see if there is anything we can do.”

I leave the counter and speak to my boss to explain what’s going on. They tell me to take the customer to the return counter and see if we can phone the bank and authorise the check by phone, something we typically do as standard for business customers.

I find someone to swap in for me at my till which now has a queue and take the customers to the return counter, ring them up again there, and phone the bank as instructed. Sweet miracle of miracles, they pass security and the bank authorises the payment — although they do also ask me to inform the customer that they will need to apply for an actual cheque guarantee card.

Do they thank me for sorting this out for them? Nope.

Customer: *With a sneer* “See! The customer is always right.”

So far, it’s the only time in my life someone has actually said it!

My husband and I were at the local homebrew supply store picking up supplies. I found a shirt to replace one I had had previously. It rang up at $0.00, so my husband said:

Husband: “Cool, it’s free!”

Me: “No, it’s gotta be about $25. That’s what it was last time.”

The manager was called over, and after everything was said and done, he actually did give it to me for free, even though I tried to pay for it!