I worked lunchtime four days a week at the supermarket. As such, I got to know some of the regulars who worked in the area and bought their lunch here most or all of the time.

There was one customer who came in every day and bought the same three things for lunch: a sandwich from our deli, a cookie, and an energy drink from the fridge. I was often on the express checkouts, and he often came through my queue but never said a word. He wasn’t unfriendly; it was more like he was distracted by something else that was getting him down.

After several months of buying the same three things every day, he once came in and got an apple instead of the cookie. Trying to be friendly, I asked him:

Me: “Changing it up today?”

Regular: *Taken aback* “How did you know?”

Me: “You come through my checkout a lot, and we get to know the regulars.”

Surprisingly, this perked the customer right up. He smiled and thanked me for the first time, and he continued to do so each time he came through after that. He even started making small bits of conversation. I learned that he was in a job he disliked but would be moving soon to a new job in another town.

He stopped coming through after a couple of months. I hope the new job worked out for him.

I work in a fishing store. In walks one of my regular customers and a new guy, an older guy in his sixties. As is customary here in Poland, I greet them with a “good morning”. It’s rude not to reply or acknowledge a greeting, so my regular says hello. The old dude, however, does not. But I give it no mind.

My regular gets some gear (around $140 worth) and gets to paying. The old dude lines up behind him and waits.

Regular: “D***, I’m supposed to go shopping for groceries and I only have $160 on me.”

He starts to put back some items, so I stop him.

Me: “It’s fine. I’ll give you twenty bucks off since you buy here weekly.”

He leaves happy with enough cash left for groceries.

Seeing that, the old dude grabs some more stuff and comes back to get checked out.

Old Dude: “All right, that’s all. I grabbed some more stuff because I saw you were selling at a discounted price, so what’s my discount gonna be?”

I look at his total and it comes out to about $60.

Me: “Sir, I can’t really give you a discount since we usually give discounts with purchases equal to or above $100. But I’ll tell you what; I’ll give you fifty percent off the most expensive item in your bag—” *a fifty-dollar item* “—but if you promise to come back soon!

I say this jokingly with a big smile that quickly fades.

Old Dude: “Who the f*** do you think you are?! What kind of business do you think you’re running? You think you can just pick and choose a discount to give people? If you’re giving me a discount, it should be for all the items I have! Give me a better deal or I’m never coming back here!”

I’m so in shock that I have to take a few seconds to process what just happened. He doesn’t give me the chance to reply before he takes his arm and swipes everything to the ground.

Old Dude: “F*** this s***! I ain’t buying it anymore!”

That causes the two-kg bag of two-mm carp bait pellets (the item he would’ve gotten a discount on) to burst and spill little pellets all over the store’s floor and a bottle of bait booster (liquid attractant) to spill on the floor and make the whole shop smell like bloodworms (stinky).

Me: “Sir, you have to buy that.”

He gives me a stern “f*** no” and slaps the counter for some reason.

I then tell him that I have cameras, and if he won’t pay, I will be forced to call the police. I also add that we have cameras in the parking lot so I will know his plate numbers.

Suddenly, he has a magical change of heart,

Old Dude: “All right, fine, I’ll pay. So, that’s fifty percent off… making the pellets $25 and the booster $5—”

I cut him off.

Me: “No, that’s $50 for the pellets and $10 for the booster.”

Old Dude: “Wait, what?! Where’s my fifty percent off?! Don’t be a f****** brat about it!”

Me: “That fifty percent was only for the pellets, and your discount left as soon as your manners did. That will be $60 total.”

Old Dude: “D***, come on, kid! Don’t be a d**k. I’m sorry. Please give me a better price, and don’t be a b**** about it. Please, please, man! Do me a favor!”

After hearing that sorry excuse for an apology:

Me: “Nah, $60 or it’s the cops.”

The dude ended up paying after ten more minutes of pleading and calling me a d**k, and he left. The best part is that he still comes back in shame because we have the best prices in town.

In Australia, we are required to take our own bags grocery shopping or purchase bags there. Supermarkets are not allowed to provide single-use plastic bags free of charge. Like many others, I use one insulated “fridge” bag as a carrier and put the rest of my bags inside it.

I was shopping recently and put my bags up before my groceries so they could be packed directly instead of piling up on the counter. The young lad serving me couldn’t have been more than fourteen, and upon receiving the bags on the register belt, he proceeded to pull all of them out of the main bag and leave them strewn across the bagging area. He then scanned every item of my shopping and somehow managed to balance it all on the end of his till.

He then seemed to realise they needed to be put in the bags, so he grabbed a handful of items and stared at the mess he’d made of the bags. I’m not sure if his brain stopped working or the choices were just overwhelming because he stood for a good ten seconds while I was paying, just staring at the bags.

I finished paying and reached over, opened a bag, and held it out to him. This seemed to reboot his brain because he then successfully packed all my groceries into the bags, leaving about six bags empty at the end. A truly bizarre encounter.

Customer: “Why is this $6?”

Me: “It’s buy two, get one free. They’re $3 each, so you’re paying for two.”

Customer: “That’s not right. It should be $3!”

Me: “That’s the price for one. You have to buy two to get the deal. The price for two is $6.”

Customer: “Well, that’s your opinion!”

Me: “No, ma’am, that’s math.”

I’m shopping at a discount shop. At the tills, they have bottles of Coke for a few pence each. The woman in front of me places her items on the till, spots the pile, and then asks:

Customer: “What’s wrong with the Coke? Is it out of date?”

Cashier: “No, but it nearly is.”

Customer: *Accusingly* “This one says it’s out of date!”

Cashier: “That is the best before date, and that’s today.”

Customer: “Let me have a look.”

She begins to paw through the bottles. Each one of them (surprise, surprise) has today’s date on it. She then turns to the guy with her and has a conversation about whether it’s safe to drink, what happens to the Coke after the date, how it’s just a conspiracy etc., etc. — all while the line behind her grows.

Me: “If 5p is such a topic of conversation for you, I’m happy to buy you one myself. But if we could hurry this along?”

Customer: “Some people have no idea of patience.”

Me: “Nor do some people have any appreciation of others, it seems.”

She finally pays and leaves. I place down my items and the cashier puts a bottle in my bag.

Me: “Oh, I was joking about buying a bottle.”

Cashier: “Oh, don’t worry about it; I’m throwing these out later. I didn’t realise there would be such drama over some cheap Coke — may as well give them away.”

Me: “Thanks!”

It was only a few pence but a nice gesture. The Coke tasted fine and probably would have for days after that. I wonder if that woman takes all her purchases that seriously; she must have no time for anything else in the world.