Customer: “Why is this $6?”
Me: “It’s buy two, get one free. They’re $3 each, so you’re paying for two.”
Customer: “That’s not right. It should be $3!”
Me: “That’s the price for one. You have to buy two to get the deal. The price for two is $6.”
Customer: “Well, that’s your opinion!”
Me: “No, ma’am, that’s math.”
I’m shopping at a discount shop. At the tills, they have bottles of Coke for a few pence each. The woman in front of me places her items on the till, spots the pile, and then asks:
Customer: “What’s wrong with the Coke? Is it out of date?”
Cashier: “No, but it nearly is.”
Customer: *Accusingly* “This one says it’s out of date!”
Cashier: “That is the best before date, and that’s today.”
Customer: “Let me have a look.”
She begins to paw through the bottles. Each one of them (surprise, surprise) has today’s date on it. She then turns to the guy with her and has a conversation about whether it’s safe to drink, what happens to the Coke after the date, how it’s just a conspiracy etc., etc. — all while the line behind her grows.
Me: “If 5p is such a topic of conversation for you, I’m happy to buy you one myself. But if we could hurry this along?”
Customer: “Some people have no idea of patience.”
Me: “Nor do some people have any appreciation of others, it seems.”
She finally pays and leaves. I place down my items and the cashier puts a bottle in my bag.
Me: “Oh, I was joking about buying a bottle.”
Cashier: “Oh, don’t worry about it; I’m throwing these out later. I didn’t realise there would be such drama over some cheap Coke — may as well give them away.”
Me: “Thanks!”
It was only a few pence but a nice gesture. The Coke tasted fine and probably would have for days after that. I wonder if that woman takes all her purchases that seriously; she must have no time for anything else in the world.
I am a cashier at a superstore. An older gentleman is buying blue jeans but is already wearing the new pair. He pushes his old ones across my counter.
Customer: “Can you bag these for me? They’re soaking wet.”
It was pee. He had peed his pants and didn’t mention it until his piss-soaked pants were in a bag.
I am checking out a bickering old couple. The gentleman is moaning about the cost of everything, and the lady is explaining why she needs them. I have just scanned an air freshener.
Husband: “How much?! For some fresh air?! That’s ridiculous. Put it back!”
Wife: “Are you willing to step outside when you drop one of your eye-watering farts?”
The husband just stares at her, angry, but seemingly without an adequate defense.
Wife: “As I thought. This next item is to unclog the shower drain. Shall I go into detail about why we need that, also?”
Silence.
Wife: “Wonderful.” *To me* “As you were, dear.”
Our liquor store is run by the provincial government. As employees of a Crown corporation and members of a union, we tend to have a little more leeway than your average retail worker to tell an unreasonable customer to get wrecked.
We have a few customers who don’t want to or can’t wear a mask, and they follow our accommodations. They come in, go to the customer service desk, and request what they want. An employee gets it for them while they wait in a low-traffic area, and they’re rung up quickly.
However, there is one customer who regularly waits until no employees are watching the door, comes in sans mask, and tries to come through the line as normal. If he’s called on it, he argues about how masks are “just recommended” until the person ringing him up gives in, banking on the fact that we’d all rather get him out of there as quickly as possible than have a fight with some a**hole.
One evening, however, I’ve had enough of his stupid, smug face. I’m the only person on till, and the only other person on the floor is my manager, over at customer service. I look up, see the customer’s bare face, and say:
Me: “Sir, you know our policy perfectly well. If you’re not wearing a mask, you may be denied service.”
Customer: “I’m exempt.”
Me: “We have accommodations for people who are exempt. Please wait by customer service and you will be helped. Next customer, please.”
Customer: “Yeah, well, I’m here now, so why don’t you just ring me up?”
Me: “No. Next customer, please!”
Customer: “What?”
Me: “If you wait by customer service, you will be helped. I will not ring you up here.”
Customer: “This isn’t a big deal.”
Me: “Oh, good. I’m glad you agree. Next, please!”
Customer: “No! You have to serve me!”
Me: “Yes, we must provide service to you. It’s available at the desk to your right. Please wait there to be helped. Next customer! Sir, please move out of this person’s way so I can help them.”
Customer: “I don’t understand why you aren’t just helping me here.”
Me: “Perhaps my manager can explain it to you?”
Customer: “Yes! I want to speak to your manager.”
Me: “Great. She’s at customer service.”
