Bad Jokes Have A Cost

, , , , | Right | June 15, 2017

(I’m in line behind a customer who’s purchasing around $50 worth of stuff. He hands over a $50 bill to the cashier.)

Customer: “It’s all right; I just printed it this morning.”

(The cashier pauses as the customer smirks. She then picks up her counterfeit pen, and the smirk vanishes from the customer’s face as she draws a line across the bill which promptly turns black. There is a moment of silence as both of them stare at it.)

Cashier: “Yes, sir, it appears you did. Or someone did, at least. Do you possibly have another form of payment?”

(The customer started stammering excuses that he got the bill from another store, he had no idea it was fake, this was an outrage, etc. as he hands over his card and completes the transaction. Afterwards the cashier sends the now red-faced customer to the service desk to see if they can help him out in some manner. Probably not the most exciting story, but it’s the first time I’ve seen that old joke end with a new twist.)

Can’t Refund The Police’s Time

, , , , | Right | June 14, 2017

(A customer is making a scene at the customer service counter. He wants a refund on a phone we don’t stock and has a receipt from another store with a name that sounds similar to ours but isn’t quite the same. I’ve had to call my manager over to explain we can’t refund products that weren’t purchased from us but this guy refuses to budge.)

Customer: “Listen, buddy, you are going to give me back the money I paid for this piece of s**** or I am going to dial the police right now and see how you like having to deal with them!”

Manager: “If you do that they’ll tell you they can’t do much. I’ve already explained, and my employee has already explained, that you didn’t purchase this from us so we can’t refund you for it.”

(The customer proceeds to pull out his phone and makes a show of dialing the police.)

Customer: “Yeah this is [Customer] at [Store] at [Address]… I need some boys in blue to come down and settle a dispute the s*** these employees are giving me! No… no, they aren’t armed… No, I’m not in any danger… Look, just send the d*** police, okay?! Thank you!”

(He turns and smiles smugly at us.)

Customer: “You two are in trouble now!”

Manager: “In that case, sir, please can you step aside so we can assist the customers behind you while we wait?”

(The customer does so but keeps smirking at us. Several minutes pass and he starts looking more unsure.)

Customer: “Well?”

Manager: “Well what?”

Customer: “Aren’t you going to try to get me to call off the cops?”

Manager: “Sir, I already told you they aren’t going to be able to do anything. Upholding our return policy is not a crime so all that’s going to happen is they’re going to come here, possibly take a statement, and tell you there’s nothing more to be done.”

(The customer’s smile slowly melts away.)

Customer: “You’re serious? You’re not going to do anything to stop the cops from getting involved?”

Manager: “I don’t know how else to say this, sir. You want to return something you didn’t buy here; we can’t do that because, as stated, you didn’t buy it here. If the only way you will believe me is if the police tell it to you then so be it.”

(The customer is now looking pale.)

Customer: “You… you a**-hole! I have unpaid tickets! I can’t talk to the police!”

(The customer bolted out of the store and quickly drove like a madman out of our parking lot. Several minutes later the police actually did turn up and confirmed the guy’s description and car matched that of a driver they’ve had to pull over multiple times for dangerous driving and who owed a fair amount.)

1 Thumbs
1,063
VOTES

Short Changing Their Tune

, , , , , | Right | June 13, 2017

(I’m about 17 at the time and cashiering on a particularly busy Saturday morning. A customer walks up to my register and tosses a pack of gum on the belt.)

Customer: “Just this, please.”

Me: “Sure! Your total will be $1.”

(He hands me a $5, I hand him his change and gum. He just stands there, staring at me…)

Me: “Is there something else I can help you with today?”

Customer: “I gave you a $50.”

Me: “Actually, you gave me a $5. Minus the $1 for gum, your change is $4.”

Customer: “No, I gave you a $50! You short-changed me! Open up your register right now and give me the rest of my change!”

Me: “Let me grab a manager. They’re the only ones who can open my register in between transactions.”

(This is not exactly true, but I suspect something fishy and I want a manager to take a look. I flag down my direct supervisor, who does not like me all that much.)

Manager: “What seems to be the problem?”

Customer: “I gave her a $50 for this gum and she only gave me $4 in change! I demand you open the register and give me the rest of my money!”

Me: *quietly, to the manager* “He gave me a five.”

Manager: *nods* “I’m really sorry about this, sir. What I’m going to do is take her drawer to the back and count it. That way, we can give you the right amount of change back. It should just be a few minutes while we take care of this.”

Customer: *nervously* “WHAT?! No, no. You really don’t have to do that. I’m fine without my change, honest. I don’t need it that badly.”

Manager: “Sir, I heard you shouting from across the store. Obviously this is important to you and we want to make sure our customers get the correct amount of money back. Right, [My Name]?”

Me: *not entirely sure what she is getting at* “Of course…?”

(The manager pops my drawer out of the register and carries it to the back. The customer starts pacing back and forth, muttering under his breath about how unnecessary it all is, etc. while fumbling through his wallet. Ten minutes later, my supervisor walks back out and puts my drawer in the register.)

Manager: “I had two people count her drawer and it balanced both times. As a result—”

Customer: “No, it’s ok. I actually found the $50 in my wallet. I did give you a $5. Isn’t that funny?” *laughs nervously and runs out of the store*

Manager: “Well, that was obviously a short change artist. Good job, [My Name].” *walks away*

(I was stunned, not by the customer, but by the fact that this particular manager acknowledged that I’d done a good job!)

Our Great Nation’s Education

, , , , , | Right | June 13, 2017

(I am cashiering as a customer approaches and places his various items on the counter. I scan each and get to the total.)

Me: “Your total is going to be $17.76.”

Customer: “Thanks.” *pull out credit card with US flags on it*

Me: “Ha! How cool; your card has US flags on it with your total.”

Customer: “Excuse me? What’s that mean…? I do swipe here, right?”

Me: “Uhm, yes, you do. I was just saying it was kind of a coincidence that your card has flags on it with your total being 17.76.”

Customer: “I’m sorry, I’m not getting your reference.” *slides card and confirms amount… receipt prints*

Me: “It’s just a year in US history. A lot happened on it.”

Customer: “Right, I never took advanced classes like that.”

The Phone Is On But Nobody’s Home

, , , , , , | Right | June 12, 2017

(A customer comes up to my till, places her items on the counter, and immediately takes out her phone.)

Me: “Who was helping you pick your items out today?”

(I work at a boutique that gives employees bonuses based on the sales they make. Thus, I need to know who was helping each customer so I can enter it into the register.)

Customer: *doesn’t react*

Me: *a little louder* “Was anyone helping you pick out your items today?”

Customer: “Huh? Oh, no, I didn’t even try them on. I’m in a big hurry.”

Me: “Okay, no problem.”

(I’m relatively new to the job, and still trying to get the hang of the cashiering process, but hearing that she’s in a hurry, I do my best to get her checked out quickly. However:)

Me: “May I have your phone number so you can get your membership discount?”

Customer: *no reaction, still looking at her phone*

Me: “Ma’am, what’s your phone number?”

Customer: “Hm? Oh, it’s [Number]”

(This continued for the entire rest of the transaction. She’d immediately go back to her phone after answering my questions, and she was so absorbed in whatever she was doing that I’d have to ask twice. Every. Single. Time. This effectively doubled the time she spent at the register. Pro tip: if you’re in a “big hurry,” maybe pay enough attention to the transaction that I can actually get you out quickly?)

Page 14/25First...1213141516...Last
« Previous
Next »