Ice Cream Is Sweet Child Of Mine

, , , , , , | Working | December 21, 2017

(I go into a self-serve frozen yogurt shop, where they let you choose a cup size and then charge by weight. When I go in, there’s a small boy with a huge tub, filling it with every flavor and topping he can find. I get a small cup and finish up pretty quickly. The boy comes to stand next to me at the counter after I have already put my yogurt on the scale.)

Me: “This will be all.”

Cashier: “What about his?”

Me: “Um, he’s not mine.”

Cashier: *laughs*

Me: “I’m not joking. He was here when I came in, and has clearly been at it awhile to fill that giant tub. Did you not see him before?”

Cashier: “Listen, I know it will be pretty expensive, but you have to pay for your son.”

Me: “Yeah, I don’t have any children. He isn’t mine.”

Cashier: “Well, whose else could he be? You’re the only other person in here!”

Me: *quietly* “Which means he has an irresponsible mother, but that mother is not me.”

Cashier: “I’m not letting you leave without paying.”

Me: *sighs, turns to little boy* “Please tell this lady where your mom is.”

Little Boy: *looking very confused* “She’s in the car outside.” *holding up a couple $20 bills* “She gave me this for ice cream!”

Me: “Great, thanks.”

Cashier: *looking absolutely disgusted* “Your total is $3.78. How was I supposed to know he wasn’t with you?”

(I just left. I get that it was a weird situation, but seriously, how did she not see the kid in the tiny shop for what must have been at least ten minutes before I walked in? And why on earth would I lie about not being a child’s mother? Parents of the world, please chaperone your kids. Don’t assume an employee is paying them any attention at all!)

Get Your Head(set) Into The Game

, , , , | Working | December 21, 2017

(I’m at the register when a customer comes up wearing a wireless headset and using a walking aid. As I have been looking for a wireless headset for a while, I decide to ask for a review.)

Me: “And your total comes to [total]. And if you don’t mind me asking, does that work well?” *I gesture towards her headset*

Customer: “Honestly, difficult to get used to.”

Me: “Oh?”

Customer: “Yeah, all the instructional videos I see say, ‘Going hands-free in two minutes!’ but I’ve had this thing for about [length of time] now and I just can’t seem to get the hang of it.”

Me: *now thoroughly convinced not the get the headset* “Really? Huh, I guess I’ll look for something else.”

Customer: “Yeah, it’s been such a pain. But, I need it for [medical conditions]. What do you need one for?”

Me: “Well, I’ve been needing something wireless for a while since my desk and my phone and on opposite sides of the room, and I’m really tired of almost killing myself on the headphone cord whenever I have to make a flying leap across the—”

Customer: “OH! Oh, I thought you were talking about this!” *gestures to her walking aid*

Me: “Oh! Oh, no, sorry!”

Customer: “But yeah, get the headset; it’s great.”

This Sale Is No Reward

, , , , | Right | December 20, 2017

(This happened on a very busy day around Christmas, with the lines winding from the front down several aisles. Mostly people have been waiting in line patiently, when a woman comes barreling through the line and sets her items at my counter.)

Me: “Hello, ma’am, I’ll be happy to help you but these other customers have been waiting longer.”

Woman: *who I now notice reeks of urine* “THERE IS NO LINE! IT’S MY TURN!”

Next Customer: “Just let her go through. We can wait.”

Me: “Okay, do you have a rewards card with us?”

Woman: “A what? What are you asking me?”

(I hold up a card to show her what it looks like, and she nods and starts rummaging through her purse as I bag her two items and wait as patiently as I can while eyeing the large queue behind her. She finds it, and I scan the rewards card. She grabs her bag and tries to leave.)

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry but we’re not quite finished yet. I still need payment.”

Woman: “I JUST PAID YOU! What are you talking about?”

Me: “No, that was just our rewards card. I still need a payment card or cash for the items.”

Woman: “I don’t have a card! My husband has it!”

(At this point she just walks away, so I void off the sale and start helping the other customers. 10 minutes later however…)

Woman: “I got the card!”

Me: “Okay, great!” *rings items in again* “Go ahead and slide the card for debit, or insert the chip for credit.”

Woman: *stares* “What? What do you want me to do?”

Me: “Erm… is it debit or credit?”


Me: *trying not to laugh at this being too many choices* “Slide your card, and put in your PIN.”

Woman: “Why is it asking if I want cash? I don’t want cash! Why is it doing this?”

Me: “Just hit ‘no’ and you’ll be fine.”

Woman: *muttering*  “…too many choices…”

(The card got declined, which was fun to explain, and the best part was it turned out she had cash on her the whole time and ended up paying that way. What should have been a one minute transaction took nearly 20 minutes total overall, all while trying to politely ignore the overwhelming smell of urine. Who knew debit cards were so complicated?)

One Draw Closes, Another One Opens

, , , , , | Working | December 20, 2017

(I have just finished paying and am waiting on my change. The cashier closes the register, though, and says goodbye.)

Me: “My change?”

Cashier: “What?”

Me: “My change. You haven’t given it to me.”

Cashier: “Oops, sorry about that.”

(She doesn’t do anything.)

Me: “Could you give it to me, then, please?”

Cashier: “No, that’s not my problem.”

Me: “I think it is. You haven’t given me my money back. If you aren’t willing to fix it, could you call someone over?”

Cashier: “I can call my manager, but he will just tell you the same.”

(She calls him over and explains. The manager face-palms, opens the drawer, and gives me my change.)

Cashier: *blushing* “But you said when the drawer was closed it wasn’t my problem anymore!”

Manager: “No, I said it isn’t a problem if you need to open the drawer. You can either ask me or a head cashier.” *to me* “I am so sorry about this, miss. She’s new. Ha, the youth of today, eh?”

(I mock-laughed with him while giving a cashier a sympathetic look, and saying it really wasn’t that big of a deal. Honestly, though, I looked younger than her, so either she wasn’t too bright or she genuinely misunderstood. Either way, further instruction would have fixed the problem rather than humiliating her.)

Please Take 20% Off Your Attitude

, , , , | Right | December 20, 2017

(At my store, we’ve been giving out coupons for customers to come back between certain days to receive 20% off their purchase. It’s the day before the most recent coupon activates. I’m at the register.)

Me: “Hi, how are you? Did you find everything you were looking for?”

Customer: “I did! I was in here last week and got a coupon. I’d like to use it today.”

Me: “Sure, can I see it?” *she’s holding the recent bounce-back coupon that will activate the next day* “Oh, that’s the coupon that starts tomorrow, but that’s okay; let me check if your items are on sale anyway!”

Customer: “But I came in specially to use the coupon.”

Me: “I understand, and I’m really sorry”. *I scan her items, many of which are already on sale* “So, it looks like most of your purchase today wouldn’t fall under the coupon and you can keep it to use in the next couple weeks.”

Customer: “Maybe you could try to use the coupon.”

Me: “Sure, I’ll try.” *I ring it, but the register won’t accept it because it hasn’t been activated yet*

(At this point, there’s a fairly long line, so I call the only other employee on the floor over to help.)

Me: “My register can’t apply the coupon because it won’t be active until tomorrow. We can either go ahead with the purchase, or I can void it and hold the items for you until tomorrow, whichever you’d rather.”

Customer: “But I want my coupon! You just don’t want to give it to me, you fat, lazy brat!”

Me: “I…”

Coworker: *who is the manager on duty* “Ma’am, my associate has given you both the options available. She has also tried to ring your coupon which did not apply because our registers can’t accept it, not because she didn’t want to. I was going to have her honor it anyway, but since you decided to insult her instead, either purchase your items or let us hold them for you until tomorrow. You’re holding up the line.”

Customer: “Fine! Hold it for me until tomorrow, then!”

Me: “Sure, not a problem. Can I get a name to hold it under?”

(She gives me her name, then storms away.)

Coworker: “Happy Holidays!”

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