I work as a cashier. The store has a line of maybe seven people. I have the “register closed” sign up, and I am stocking the accessories on the shelves behind the counter.

My coworker is handling the customers in line. I turn when I hear the door opening. A lady walks in without a mask on.

Me: *Politely* “Excuse me, miss. Do you have a mask that you could put on?”

She scoffs at me and rolls her eyes as she digs in her purse for a minute or two. Finally, she pulls out a ratty little mask with only one functional strap and holds it to her face while she’s waiting in the line.

Well, apparently, she can’t do that for very long. She comes to the front of the line ranting and raving.

Customer: “This line is too long! You shouldn’t be keeping a valued regular customer waiting!”

I’ve been working here for four months and I’ve never seen her; I’m fairly confident I know all the regulars.

Me: “There are other things my manager left for me to do before the end of closing, and I have to get them done.”

She doesn’t seem to like that all.

Customer: “I demand that you open your register right now!”

Okay, you got it, lady. I move the “register closed” sign and then turn back to her.

Me: “Do me a favor and stand a little bit to your right.”

Surprisingly, she complies, albeit with her arms crossed and an angry gaze.

Me: “Next customer!”

It dawns on her what I’m doing, but the next customer shoots up in front of the counter before she can even fully process it. I go about this transaction as normal, despite the fact that this lady is yelling at me at the top of her lungs — no longer holding the mask to her face, mind you.

I finish up with the other customer and I turn to the lady. She tries to yell over me, so I raise my voice a bit and try to be as stern as possible.

Me: “Just because my register is open now, it doesn’t entitle you to skip all the other people in this line who also have lives, jobs, and other responsibilities. Get to the back of the line and be respectful, or I will have no choice but to have you removed from the store.”

We don’t have security, but we’re two blocks away from a police station, and one of the cool officers who comes into the store gave me their personal number to use just in case we have any issues.

The lady harrumphs loudly and walks dejectedly to the spot in the line she had before she left. In the time since she approached me to yell at me, more people have gotten in the line.

Me: *Pointedly* “I said the back of the line.”

She dropped her shoulders and walked to the back like a toddler.

My coworker is serving a customer. Suddenly, the customer shouts:

Customer: “I don’t have to show ID! I am the LORD!” *Storms out*

Coworker: “I don’t think the Lord would be trying to buy a can of chewing tobacco.”

I work at a big box discount retail chain. I finish ringing up an elderly customer, and he inserts his card into our card machine. A few moments of silence go by.

Me: “It looks like our PIN pad is asking for some information on your end.”

The customer looks at the PIN pad screen.

Customer: “It’s asking if I want credit or debit.”

I nod at him, certain he’ll choose whichever corresponds to his card. He doesn’t say anything.

Me: “So, go ahead and select which one your card is.”

Customer: *Pointing to his card* “This is a debit card.”

Me: “Uh… okay.”

Customer: “So, would I press debit?”

Internal facepalm ensues.

Related:
To Give Credit Where Debit Is Due, Part 6
To Give Credit Where Debit Is Due, Part 5
To Give Credit Where Debit Is Due, Part 4
To Give Credit Where Debit Is Due, Part 3
To Give Credit Where Debit Is Due, Part 2

I am working the express checkout lane: fifteen items or less. A customer approaches me with a full cart.

Customer: “This is the express lane?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “Good, I need to be quick.”

She starts unloading her items on my belt in a furious flurry.

Me: “Ma’am… Ma’am! It’s fifteen items only per transaction.”

The customer looked at me, looked at her many items, and simply rolled her eyes. She rushed past five other checkout lanes, grabbed some of the dividers used to separate items from different shoppers, and rushed back. She then proceeded to place them between fifteen of her items at a time and then stared at me expectantly.

Annoyingly, my manager made me check her out.

Related:
Express-Lane Their Opinion

I work as a cashier in a supermarket. A popular candy maker has just released a new chocolate which comes in bars, bags, and boxes. We have a separate stand for the new products with a special offer of four candy bars for 1€. The offer is clearly marked, and the word “chocolate bars” is written twice on the ad sheet next to the bars.

A grumpy-looking lady and her teenage son come to my register with a full cart. Everything goes fine, they pay, and then the lady looks at the receipt.

Customer: “This is the wrong price!”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, I will check that right away. Could you tell me which product it is?”

Customer: “This is always a problem here! Always! Your discounts never scan right!”

Me: “I am very sorry, I will—”

Customer: *Interrupting me* “I feel like you are trying to cheat me every time! Look here, I have four boxes of [Brand] chocolate. They were meant to be four for 1€, and you charged me the full price!”

That’s about 3.5€ per box.

Me: “I am sorry for the misunderstanding, but the ad clearly states that the discount is for four chocolate bars. Boxes are more expensive and unfortunately not part of the discount.”

Customer: “No, it does not! It said all new [Brand] chocolate products are four for 1€. This is a scam! I can’t believe this! You have no idea about your own campaigns. I want you to go and check the ad next to the chocolate. It will prove that I am right!”

A long line has formed behind the lady and people are starting to look annoyed. I am not permitted to leave my register while it’s open, so I have to call and ask a colleague to go and check the ad.

Me: “My colleague will go and check the ad for you. Could it be possible for me to serve the person behind you while you wait? They only have a few items.”

Customer: “No! You are serving me now. Unbelievable! They always try to cheat you about discounts…”

She goes on in a similar vein and tries to get the customers behind her to agree with her. My colleague calls and confirms that — surprise, surprise — the ad says, “Chocolate bars”.

Me: “I am sorry, but the ad clearly states that the discount is for chocolate bars. Would you like to return the boxes?”

Customer: “It does not!”

The customer’s son, who looks really embarrassed, speaks up.

Customer’s Son: “Yeah, it did, Mom. I saw it.”

Customer: *Pauses* “Well… I… The ad was placed misleadingly! It was right next to the stand with all the new chocolates. How was I supposed to know which are discounted and which are not?!”

Me: “Because it is written on the ad sheet?”

Customer: *Condescendingly* “Do you think that I have time to read all the ads? I would be here for hours!”

The customer behind her in line speaks up now.

Customer #2: “If it takes you hours to read the words ‘chocolate bar,’ maybe you should do less shopping and go back to f****** primary school?”

The lady just glared and left with her bags and full-priced chocolates. Unfortunately, she became our regular after that for some reason and was almost always as cheerful as in this story.