We Need To Quarantine Up All The Stupid

, , , , | Healthy | February 7, 2020

(I work at the front desk of an assisted living community and at this time, a nasty norovirus is making its rounds of our residents and staff. We’ve been on a “visitor restriction” and quarantine for the past week, meaning unless your visit is mandatory for the continued well-being of the resident, you don’t come in. We’ve emailed all of the family, friends, and health care companies about the restrictions, asking them to call if they’re thinking about a visit, and I’ve posted a sign on the front door, with bold, black lettering highlighted in florescent orange, right at an average eye-level height.)

Visitor #1: *walks in, oblivious to the sign* “Hello!”

Me: “Hello! Before you sign in, I have to let you know we’re under quarantine at the moment, so all visitors are restricted.”

Visitor #1: “Oh? What’s going on?”

Me: “Well, like the sign on the door says…” *goes on to explain and they leave*

Visitor #2: *waltzes in, ignoring the sign* “Good morning!”

Me: “Good morning! Just so you know…” *explains quarantine again*

Visitor #2: “Huh! You should really post a sign or something!”

Me: *glances between her and the sign* “Yeah…”

Visitor #3: “What do you mean, you’re still under quarantine?! I drove [amount of miles] to visit [Resident]! I’m her daughter!”

Me: “We called, emailed, and posted signs asking visitors to call before they come. I see you’re on the list that we called. Is [number/email] your correct phone number and email?”

Visitor #3: “Well, I got the call, but I didn’t think it applied to me!”

(I will never, in my years of working with the general public, understand why people are so g**d*** stupid.)

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Unfiltered Story #186472

, , | Unfiltered | February 6, 2020

I handle billing for a retirement home. Some of our residents are feeling their years more than others, and have a hard time understanding their bills.
One resident thought that she had overpaid, and brought her daughter with her to get an explanation from me. I explain, and the daughter understands, while her mother still does not.

Resident: “But I thought I would get money back.”

Daughter: “Momma, all he can give you is a nice smile and a ‘thank you'”

Me: (Smiling broadly) “Thank you!”

Someone Is Getting Very Agitated With The Salad Dressing

, , , , | Working | February 4, 2020

(I work at an assisted living facility. I’m sitting at my desk, typing up the next day’s menu as I talk to a coworker.)

Me: “Why do I always have to put ‘with dressing’ when we have a salad? Are we forcing residents to have dressing or no salad for you?”

Coworker: “Well, what else would you put on it?”

Me: “The blood of my enemies.”

Coworker: “I thought you were vegetarian?”

Me: “I’d make an exception.”

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When You Have Nothing But H8

, , , , , | Right | February 3, 2020

(I’m working at the front desk of an assisted living facility, and a visitor comes up to speak with me. He has a very imperious tone throughout.)

Visitor: “Will there be someone here at 8:00 sharp tomorrow morning to open these doors?”

Me: “Yes. Actually, I will be here tomorrow. I will be here at 8:00, probably a few minutes earlier.”

Visitor: “But someone will be here right at 8:00 am? So I can get in to get my father for his appointment?”

Me: “Yes. I will be at this desk to open the doors at 8:00 am.”

Visitor: “You’re positive someone will be here at 8:00 in the morning to open the doors.”

Me: “Yes. I will be here at 8:00 tomorrow morning. I promise.” *starting to mentally lose my cool*

Visitor: *irritated sigh* “There had better be someone to let me in at 8:00 tomorrow morning.”

Me: *stares as he stomps off*

(True to my word, I am at my desk at 7:58 am. Eight hits and there’s no visitor. I shrug and get on with my work. At 8:45 am, he walks through the door.)

Me: “Oh, hello! I thought you were going to be here at 8:00 this morning.”

Visitor: “I changed his appointment time. I didn’t think anyone would be here.”

Me: *loses faith in humanity*

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Unfiltered Story #183966

, , | Unfiltered | January 25, 2020

Me: “(Company) Accounting, this is (My Name), how can I help you?”
Caller: “My mother, (Name), has been a resident with you for several years, and I just got an unusual bill for her. Can you explain it to me?”
Me: “Sure, I’ll pull it up.”
(I bring up a digital copy of all billing for the resident. Her bill has been the same every month since she moved in, and the current bill is no different.)
Me: “I don’t see anything unusual on her current statement. What in particular were you concerned about?”
Caller: “Well, it’s not on your bill, it’s from something called (Definitely Not My Company).”
Me: “Does it say it’s for services provided at (My Company)?”
Caller: “No, it’s for…outpatient consultation.”
Me: “Since it’s not billed through my office, and since it’s not for services provided by us or even in our building, I’m afraid I don’t have any information about it. Have you tried calling the vendor who sent the bill?”
Caller: “No, do you think that would help?”
Me: (Facepalming) “It’s your best bet, sir.”