George Foreman Would Not Be Happy

| Right | May 4, 2011

Me: “Good afternoon. What can I get for you?”

Resident: “I will have a grilled cheese without the bread.”

Me: “I’m sorry. Our grilled cheese only comes on bread.”

Resident: “Well, I don’t like bread. Your menu says I can have a grilled cheese, and I want it without bread!”

Me: “Okay, I will be right back with that.”

(I walk into the kitchen, and tell the cook the request. She puts two slices of cheese on a plate, and microwaves it. I then take it out to the resident.)

Me: “Here you go.”

Resident: “What is this? This isn’t a grilled cheese. Where are the grill marks?”


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Excess Of XY

, , , , , , | Right | October 4, 2010

Me: “Hi, my name is Randi, I’ll be taking your order tonight.”

Old Man: “Randi? That’s a boy’s name.”

Me: “No, it’s spelled with a ‘Y’. Mine is spelled with an ‘I’. I’m a girl.”

Old Woman: “Leave her alone; maybe she’s both! They have those nowadays.”


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Shout Until You’re Bleu In The Face

, , , , | Right | March 5, 2010

(I work in the dining room at a retirement home. I’m offering an elderly woman soup.)

Me: “Hi there, [Woman]! Would you like some soup tonight?”

Elderly Woman: “What?”

Me: *raising my voice* “Would you like some SOUP?”

Elderly Woman: “WHAT?”

Me: *I put mouth right by her ear and basically yell at her* “DO YOU WANT SOUP?”

Elderly Woman: “Why are you speaking French?”

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Just Quit While You’re Ahead, Part 2

, , | Right | July 31, 2008

Me: “Hi, I haven’t seen you in a while! How are you?”

Elderly Resident: “Good. You’re getting chubby.”

Me: “Really? I’ve been working out every day for about a month now.”

Elderly Resident: “Oh… maybe your boobs are just getting smaller.”


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The 8th Sign Of The Apocalypse

| Right | March 27, 2008

Grumpy Old Man: “There’s too much salt in the shakers.”

Me: “…”

G.O.M.: *picks up shaker to demonstrate*

Me: “I’m…sorry?”

G.O.M.: “THERE’S NO SHAKE ROOM!”

Me: “I’ll get right on that.”

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