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Grandma Hates Football

| Ann Arbor, MI, USA | Health & Body, Liars & Scammers

(I work in an assisted living home. We only offer our restrooms to those visiting residents, employees, and visiting staff, not to the general public. It should be noted that we are near a large football stadium and people tend to park near us on game days. A person wearing the home team’s jersey, hat, etc. walks in the building and comes up to me at the front desk.)

Person: “Hello, can I use the restroom?”

Me: Are you here visiting someone?”

Person: *thinking they’ve got me* “Yes, my grandma.”

Me: “Oh? What’s her name? And I’ll need you to sign in, please.”

Person: *turning red* “Look, I just need to use the bathroom before the game.”

Me: “Yes, and they have facilities at the stadium for that.”

Person: “But there are lines! I don’t want to miss kickoff!”

Me: *shrugs* “Sorry, but the answer’s still no.”

Person: “UGH, you just hate football!” *stomps out in a huff*

(I actually like football, just not a**-hole fans. Some variation of this conversation happens every single game day with multiple people.)

Excess Of XY

| Hilton, NY, USA | Food & Drink, Uncategorized

Me: “Hi, My name is Randi, I’ll be taking your order tonight.”

Old man: “Randi? That’s a boy’s name.”

Me: “No, it’s spelled with a ‘Y’. Mine is spelled with an ‘I’. I’m a girl.”

Old woman: “Leave her alone, maybe she’s both! They have those nowadays.”