Client: “We’re a startup game company, and we need one character with thirty different eyes, thirty different mouths, thirty different hairstyles, and thirty different bodies for our game where the character can be customized.”
Me: “Okay, that’s technically thirty characters with each element drawn separately and/or in separate layers.”
I then give my rate for thirty characters.
Client: “Your profile says you charge [amount] for only one character. Please give us that rate since it’s only one character but he has thirty different mouths, eyes, hair, and bodies. So the price should be just for one character.”
Client: “So you got everything you need? Take all the time you want. We really believe we understand the mind of the creative individual. We know it takes time to create a powerful ad.”
Me: “Yeah. It does. Thanks.”
Client: “But it’s urgent. Just imagine that it should have been done as of yesterday.”
Me: “But no deadline?”
Client: “Right. Well, I mean, we need it for four days, but otherwise, yeah; no deadline.”
While designing a Sherlock Holmes poster for a children’s theater group.
Client: “You know how you have both Watson and Holmes? Just take out Watson and make Holmes bigger. Also, take out Sherlock’s hands.”
Me: “But then the notebook he’s holding will be floating…”
Client: “I can’t overstate how okay I am with a floating notebook.”
Me: “I’ve attached four different options for the cover page. Please let me know which one you prefer so I can purchase the relevant stock image. I’ve provided the cost of each image below for your convenience. Thanks.”
One week later:
Client: “Yes… I like the images.”
Me: “If you want a custom Christmas e-mail template, it’ll take at least two billable hours.”
Client: “We don’t want to pay extra. Can’t you just add a snowy background?”
Me: “It’s a bit more complicated than that. I’m sorry, but I do have to charge by the hour.”
Client: “No. Why don’t you spend a couple of hours figuring out how we can do this for free.”
Me: “You want me to sit here for a “couple hours” to figure out a way you can get me to work for a couple of hours for free?”
