Client: “What’s that paint software you are using at the moment?”
Me: “It’s called Photoshop CS4, and it’s more than just some paint software!”
Client: “Could you make me a copy of it for my six-year-old son to mess around on? He does like painting.”
Me: “Er… no, that’s piracy, and it’s licenced to me and my company.”
Client: “I’ll provide you with a disc.”
Me: ”…I really can’t do that.”
Client: “Maybe I’ll reconsider your final fee!”
Client: “When this gets printed, what sort of colors get mixed together?“
Me: “Well, anything that gets printed is basically a combination of black, yellow, cyan, and magenta ink or toner…”
Client: “That’s unacceptable! I’m printing these for boys, not girls. Magenta is a girl’s color. Take the magenta out of your printers and replace it with red. Red is much manlier.“
Client: “It looks good, but I just want the text to pop more. I want more contrast.”
The text is white on black.
Client: “Can we change it to, like, a gray?”
Me: “Gray on black?”
Client: “Yeah, I think that would make it really stand out.”
Fast forward five color changes.
Client: “I think white would look best here.”
Client: “These logos aren’t creative enough! They look bad!”
Me: “Can you be more specific about the kind of look and feel you want?”
Client: “Well, they’re just not creative! Can you do some more options? I’ll know it when I see it!”
A client has requested that I design a series of twelve covers for children’s puzzle books and specified that I am to use bright primary colours.
Client: “You seem to have used some colours more than once.”
Me: “Yes, there are only so many colours.”
Client: “Well, you’re the designer. Can’t you come up with some new ones?”
