(I’m a caricaturist working at a party. I’m 19, but because of my petite figure, I’m often mistaken for younger. I’m facing my stand, waiting for a guest.)

Guest: “Are you doing caricatures?”

(I turn to face the guest. She is a 10-year-old girl, who suddenly looks horrified and jumps back.)

Guest: “Woah! HOW OLD ARE YOU?”

Me: “Um, 19?”

Guest: “Geez! You look like you’re 14, or something; you scared me!”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Guest: “I’m used to people doing these to be like 30, or something. I was expecting an old lady.”

Me: “Haha, sorry I’m so young?”

Guest: “YOU SCARED ME! YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE OLD!”

(I’m at my Grandma’s house for Christmas. I have my sketchpad to finish drawing my friend’s Christmas presents. My family is all “oohing” and “aahing” over my work.)

Uncle #1: “You’re pretty good.”

Me: “Thanks.”

Aunt: “Yeah, this is pretty impressive.”

Uncle #2: *whispering* “Notice how they keep saying it’s pretty good, but no one is saying you’re really good.”

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(A woman rushes into the store with her two sons. She’s very huffy and already looks impatient.)

Customer: “Hey, I’m looking for ears. Do you sell any? Like a grey ear?”

Me: “Um, do you mean like a costume ear?”

Customer: “No, no, no…an ear, like a grey model ear. You don’t have one of those? You’re probably going to tell me that I’m going to have to make it myself. Ugh, I always have to make things myself.”

Me: “Well, I don’t think we sell ears specifically. We do sell sculpting clay though. You could make it with sculpting clay, if that’s not too much troub–”

Customer: “I can’t believe you don’t sell ears here! That’s one of the more basic items!”

(A customer comes in with a photo of her daughter. She wants to include it in a business card.)

Customer: “So you guys are able to take this picture, put it on to the computer, and then fix it up nicely?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

Customer: “Okay, here you go.”

(I’m given the picture, and I notice her daughter is facing completely to the right. Not a big deal, so I go ahead and scan the picture. It appears on screen.)

Customer: “Okay. I need you to turn her face towards us.”

Me: “Uh…that’s not possible.”

Customer: “But you said you would fix it up nicely.”

Me: “I can clean the picture up and make your daughter look nice. However, you can’t scan a picture and then turn it around like it was in 3D.”

Customer: “But computers are the reason 3D exists. Now turn my daughter’s head!”

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Customer: “Do you have any books on drawing people? My son loves to draw. I want to encourage him.”

Me: “This one is really good for understanding anatomy. It uses examples from classical art.”

Customer: *very snidely* “I could do without all the nudity. It’s not very Christian.”

Me: “That’s the Sistine Chapel ceiling, ma’am. It’s where the Pope preaches.”

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