Maybe He Should Try A Blackberry
An older gentleman approaches me in the store.
Customer: “Are these computers customizable?”
Me: “Yes.”
Customer: “Good. Can I change the Apple logo into a fruit I like more?”
Do You Even Know What “Work” Means?
Me: “I sent a design and print-ready files to you three weeks ago, but I have not yet received payment.”
Client: “We didn’t use it.”
Me: “Our contract stipulates that I’m to be paid once I deliver the work, not whether you use the work.”
Client: “There, I’ve emailed the files back to you. Now it’s like you never did the work.”
Me: “Is it, though?”
Reaching New Dimensions Of Stupidity
Client: “We’d like you to design some labels for our new products.”
Me: “What size are the labels?”
Client: “They’re for three 250g jars.”
Me: “…”
Client: “…”
Me: “So, the dimensions of the labels are?”
Client: “250g.”
Me: “…”
Client: “Oh! Sorry! 250g probably doesn’t tell you enough.”
Me: “Haha, yeah, I need to know length and width, or—”
Client: “‘250g’ means ‘250 grams.'”
Me: “…”
The Art Of Losing A Deal
Art/Design, Clients From Hell, Ignoring & Inattentive, Jerk, Money, School, Teachers |
Right
| September 6, 2022
I teach art to kids, and I also do illustrations and sell original art. The father of one of my students noticed some of my artwork one day when picking up his kid.
Client: “Oh, you paint!”
No s***, Sherlock. I teach your daughter painting.
Me: *Forcing a smile* “Well, that’s why I’m here!”
Client: “Are any of these for sale?”
Me: “Yeah, these two here. They’re [price] apiece.”
Client: “Hm. I’ll give you [a tenth of the price] for both.”
Me: “Bye!”
Have You Tried Zooming Out?
Client: “Hey, I can’t send you this photo through Facebook Messenger.”
Me: “Well, it doesn’t have to be a high resolution for how I’m using it. If you shrink the photo, it’ll still work great, and then it’s easy to send.”
Client: “I already took the photo. How am I supposed to take a smaller photo?”
Me: *Pauses* “Why don’t I just come over and get it?”