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Projecting Much?

, , , | Right | March 4, 2022

I was designing a series of posters advertising retirement accounts for a credit union. One had an elderly couple walking on a beach, holding hands, silhouetted against a sunset. Another had a similar couple looking into the horizon from the bow of a cruise ship. The tagline on both was something to the effect of, “It’s your retirement; what do you want from it?”

The comments on the proofs came back, respectively:

Client: “It looks like they are walking into the sunset to die.”


Client: “It looks like they’re considering jumping overboard.”

I resubmitted some different concepts, but I also commented that the client may want to contact their human resources department for referral to a therapist.

This Car Crash Is Turning Into A Train Wreck

, , , , , | Working | March 2, 2022

My boyfriend works as an animator, recreating specific scenes of accidents, injuries, and surgeries for use in legal cases. Unfortunately, he is at the mercy of the bosses and middlemen above him when it comes to being given the details of the cases involved. He’s dealt with many years of inconsistent information and frustrating inefficiency that affect his ability to do his job. Here is just the latest example.

Mind you, the people contracting my boyfriend’s company for this case have all of the actual information about the people involved, but does that information actually trickle down to the animator who has to recreate it?

First, he’s told he’s animating a car crash, but he won’t need to show the car, just the injury sustained by the person inside. Okay. He’s told they want a side view of a man in the driver’s seat, suffering a head-on whiplash collision. He is given no photos for reference and no records, just this description, so the plan is to use a basic male figure, almost like a crash-test dummy, to demonstrate the motion of the accident.

Then, the man needs to have brown hair, despite not being originally supposed to look like anyone in particular. 

Then, it’s not a front collision; it was from the side, so it’s a side-to-side whiplash now.

Then, naturally, a side view won’t show this well, so it’s changed to an animation viewed from above.

Then, suddenly, the man in the driver’s seat is, surprise, now an eleven-year-old boy, and he’s in the passenger seat.

Also, they’ve told my boyfriend he needs to show the car now.

These are all changes my boyfriend is given once work is already in progress, over the course of a week or so. He suspects he’s at the point of needing to start over entirely, and even though he plans to prod his boss into verifying these details for him before he continues further, he has no reason to think he won’t end up completing the whole animation, and then a week later be given photos of the injured person with instructions to make it look patient-specific. It’s just the way this place operates, and yes, he is looking for another job!

Y’all Ever Hear Of Figurative Language?

, , , , | Right | February 26, 2022

I created a poster for an organization that had the name of a food in its name. The event also featured a fairly well-established musical act, so I put “[Organization] presents: [Band].” I received a flaming message back from the client.

Client: “A food cannot PRESENT a band; it should say, ‘FEATURING’.”

This was only one in a series of extremely anal, know-it-all reprimands. 

The Piracy Starts Early

, , , | Right | February 21, 2022

Client: “What’s that paint software you are using at the moment?”

Me: “It’s called Photoshop CS4, and it’s more than just some paint software!”

Client: “Could you make me a copy of it for my six-year-old son to mess around on? He does like painting.”

Me: “Er… no, that’s piracy, and it’s licenced to me and my company.”

Client: “I’ll provide you with a disc.”

Me: ”…I really can’t  do that.”

Client: “Maybe I’ll reconsider your final fee!”

It’s “Magenta,” Not “MANgenta”

, , , , | Right | February 19, 2022

Client: “When this gets printed, what sort of colors get mixed together?“

Me: “Well, anything that gets printed is basically a combination of black, yellow, cyan, and magenta ink or toner…”

Client: “That’s unacceptable! I’m printing these for boys, not girls. Magenta is a girl’s color. Take the magenta out of your printers and replace it with red. Red is much manlier.“