A client is upset that the animated .gifs from his site aren’t animated when printed out. I’ve tried to explain that it simply isn’t possible.
Client: “Why are you lying to me? I know it’s possible! Have you not seen the moving posters and pictures in Harry Potter?!”
A client sent in an ad to run in the newspaper. Unfortunately, the ad was not proportioned correctly for the space purchased.
Me: “The ad you sent me is nine inches wide and four inches tall. You’ve indicated that you want it to run five inches wide by ten inches tall.”
Client: “That is correct. Can you just change it?”
Me: “Well, luckily, the layout is easy to manipulate, and you didn’t put any text in it.”
Client: “But I want it laid out like that.”
Me: “I can’t squeeze a nine-by-four ad into a five-by-ten ad without changing something. The proportions are all wrong.”
Client: “But my friend told me Photoshop has a magic wand! Just use that.”
Me: “That tool won’t work for this. I still have to—”
Client: “Look, if you won’t leave the artwork exactly as it is, we’ll take our business to someone who knows how to do their job.”
He then hung up on me.
Client: “I’m very disappointed! I expected more! Why didn’t you redesign…”
He lists three features that we haven’t discussed.”
Me: “I’m sorry, but I wasn’t expecting to redesign—”
Client: “Well, I was expecting you to exceed my expectations!”
Me: “…”
A client asks for a realistic-looking female to be rendered as in their nineties. I send them the work only to hear back:
Client: “She looks too old.”
Me: “Didn’t you want her to be in her nineties?”
Client: “We want her to be a young-looking elderly woman in her nineties. As if she were seventy or so. But ninety.”
I was commissioned to design a store backdrop to celebrate the World Cup, so I drew a football player jumping in the air and kicking the ball.
Client: “It’s perfect! The only thing is that we are scared FIFA might sue us, so lose the player and the ball, and just to be safe, the field, too. Other than that, keep it just the way it is.”
