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The Cake Is A Dye

, , , , , | Right | May 4, 2022

I work in a bakery in which we can take images given to us by customers and transfer them into edible images that can be placed onto the cakes. One client wants a full sheet cake with a very large image of a group of people. 

Client: “When you said the color might change, what did you mean?”

Me: “Occasionally the images will appear darker when transferred onto the cake.”

Client: “Can you tell whoever is making it not to make the people in the picture look black or Mexican? We don’t want to devalue our white workers.”

Oh, Great. Now He Has Your Number.

, , , , | Right | April 27, 2022

Years ago, I was young, naive, and unemployed. While I was browsing the graphic design magazines in a bookstore, an older man approached me.

Client: “I see you look really interested in graphic design. I’m looking to hire a graphic designer.”

Me: “Wow, really? I’m looking for a job right now!”

Client: “Let me get you some information about my company. It’s in my car.”

Me: “Okay!”

He came back quickly and showed me binders and business cards about his cultural institution.

Client: “Here’s what I do. If that sounds interesting, give me your phone number and we can set up a meeting.”

Me: “Yes, I would like that!”

The client called a few days later.

Client: “Let’s meet.”

Me: “Okay. Where should we meet?”

Client: “Let’s meet this Saturday evening at [Nightclub/Dance Club].”

Me: “Umm… that’s a dance club. How am I supposed to bring my portfolio there?”

Client: “Don’t bring your portfolio.”

Sorry, Mr. Wilhite

, , , | Right | April 24, 2022

Me: “Unfortunately, some of the images you sent over can’t be used as they are the wrong file type.”

Client: “Oh, okay. Which files?”

Me: “The animated GIFs.”

Client: “So, why can’t they be used for the brochure?”

Seeing The World In Shades Of Dull

, , , , , | Working | April 22, 2022

I used to work in a tech service company where I grew to be the only designer on a team composed of many experienced developers. The Chief Technology Officer was especially on my back, since everything I did took too much time for his tastes and/or wasn’t something he thought we could sell to clients.

One time, I got to work for a client located in French Polynesia and was asked to design an administrative tool that would be open to public use. I pondered for a while about what design would be pleasing to the eye for people looking for land information on exotic islands. I finally decided to start a mock-up with the most vibrant, vacation-looking colors I could get, and proceeded to get feedback from the team.

Me: “I used different images here and here to give a feeling of looking at a beach when this window and this one are opened.”

Team Member #1: “Yeah! Nice colors! I really like the different tints of blue.”

Team Member #2: “It is more green than blue, though, isn’t it?”

CTO: “What are you all babbling about? It’s ugly, it’s dull, and he spent too much time doing it. Looking at a beach… Pfwah!”

Team Member #1: “Dull?! No way!”

CTO: “Meh, yes, kind of way.”

As the team started debating about colour preferences, I was thinking about what the CTO said. I was used to his harsh remarks, but “dull”? And suddenly, it hit me.

I speed-Googled for an Ishihara test and showed the first result to the CTO.

CTO: “Why are you showing me this stupid thing? I could never see anything in these optical illusions.”

Me: “Well, chief, you might want to try a few other ones, but this is not an optical trick. These are part of a test to detect if you are color blind. Did they not test you when you were a kid?”

As it turns out, no, he had not been tested, and yes, he was awfully color blind. We all spent the rest of the day exchanging Ishihara pictures, and in a team of eighty people, there were eight who were color blind to different degrees and didn’t know about it.

Glad to be of help!

“American Cheese” Yellow Or “Cheddar” Yellow?

, , , , | Right | April 17, 2022

Client: “The sandwich on the front cover… Can we retouch some cheese in there, where the white stuff is?”

Me: “That’s mozzarella. That is cheese.”

Client: “Oh, can we make it yellow? I want to have some cheese in there.”