That’s Your Signature Art

, , , , | | Right | May 12, 2019

(I go to a large convention to sell my art. Things go well and it’s eventually time to close the shop. Security ushers the visitors to the exit and while we put away things, I get visited by a last-minute shopper.)

Shopper: “Oh, this is lovely. I would like to have one of these, please.”

Me: “Certainly.”

Shopper: “I want a perfect one, without any blemishes or spots.”

Me: “Of course!”

(I create and print all my art myself and am a perfectionist, so I don’t sell anything I’m not satisfied with myself.)

Me: “Here you go, ma’am.”

Shopper: “No, not this one. This one has that stain on it.”

Me: *looking at it* “I don’t see any stains, I’m sorry. Where?”

Shopper: “Here! I want one that is perfect!”

Me: “All right, here is another one.”

Shopper: “This one is stained, as well!”

Me: “Where, ma’am? I can’t see the stain myself.”

Shopper: “Here!” *points at it*

Me: “That is my signature, ma’am.”

(She looked at the art, but then said this version was… adequate enough. Oh, well, a sale is a sale!)

Prices To Give You An Art Attack

, , , , | | Learning | May 10, 2019

(My school is holding an art fair so we can see how to sell art. There are lots of different types of artists. I go to the one who most closely resembles my art style. I am holding my best piece, which is a name poster. I figured people would want custom name posters, so I hope it will be easy to sell.)

Me: “Hi…”

Artist: “Hello there! Can I see your picture?”

Me: *hands it over* “Um… I know it’s not very good, but I was hoping people might like it enough to buy?”

Artist: “Hmm…”

Me: *talks more because silence makes me nervous* “It’s not like I’m looking for a lot of money, but my family is going through some… things… and I wanted to contribute if only a little… This won’t be a career; I’d only do this until I could get a real.”

Artist: “What did you make this with?”

Me: “Printer paper and some pens.”

Artist: “Well, it’s pretty good. You should probably use a ruler, but otherwise, the design is nice. But the materials are completely unacceptable! The first thing you need to do is go out and buy real pens. Don’t worry; I know where you can buy a set for under $100!”

Me: “Um, that’s not really–”

Artist: “And definitely upgrade your paper! It will be an expensive investment, but it will be worth it! I recommend getting a [fancy type of poster-quality paper].”

(I kind of stopped listening at that point, because she wasn’t listening to me. I didn’t have any money to spend on supplies. I still thanked her, but I left as soon as possible. In a way, she did answer my question; no one would want to buy my name posters.)

Tipped To Be An A**hole

, , , , | Right | April 4, 2019

(I’ve been taking on digital art commissions since I first started college. When I first started taking commissions, I was inexperienced and nervous about laying out terms, and I seriously undercharged for my work. As such, I relied on tips to actually get a decent amount of money. This commissioner is already very demanding and oversteps a lot of boundaries — including but not limited to asking if we can IM to discuss work and then using it to rant all night about his terrible home life — but he is getting multiple commissions and I am desperate for the work. While I’m still working on the pieces, he broaches the subject of tipping.)

Commissioner: “So, I noticed my invoice had the option for a tip.”

Me: “Yes! All the artists I know really appreciate that Paypal has a built-in way to leave a tip for their invoices. ‘Every little bit helps,’ you know?”

Commissioner: “Okay, so it’s not required.”

(He then went offline for the night before I can respond. No tip was ever given. The best part? The commissioner was a waiter who worked for tips, too!)

Unfiltered Story #137201

, , , | Unfiltered | January 27, 2019

(Note: I am an artist and my canvas is shoes. I paint shoes to change the colors, etc..)
Me: Hello what would you need done?
Customer about 17: I need this fixed.
Me: Ok no problem do you want it customized too?
Male Customer: Yes please. I want red and blak etc.. shoe stuff
Me: It is gooing to cost xxx
Male Customer: Wait, so what is a custom?

(I get this question way too much but this particular situaion I found too funny.)

After A Few Hundred Years, A Guy Can’t Change His Look?

, , , , , | Learning | December 13, 2018

One day during class, it being near Christmas, we are given a picture of Santa Claus to color. Santa is sitting on a chair, relaxing, and eating cookies, while reading a list. Seeing this, I decide that Santa must be off-duty, so I color him orange. After all, Santa must get tired of his uniform, right?

Later that day, I am called to the teacher’s desk with three other students and told we are in trouble. Our crimes? I, of course, colored Santa orange, instead of red. Another student had colored him red, but with green gloves. The last student had colored Santa black.

I don’t remember if she called my parents or not, but all three of us had to sit out recess that day.

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