Not So Perfectly Done

, , , , , | Learning | September 9, 2019

In middle school, I had a terrible art teacher. She would do nothing other than screaming and insulting our drawings.

For the summer break, she gave us homework: a single drawing, but it had to be perfect. I wasn’t that good at the time, so I worked very hard on it and it took me the entire three months of break.

We came back to school and the moment came to show her our work. All she told me was that the drawing wasn’t good and that I had to do it all over again for the week after. 

Of course, I had no intention of doing the work of three months in one week — it would turn out even worse, anyway — so all I did was add some shading to it, but it was basically the same.

I showed it to her the week after and she gave me a B… after bragging about how she could tell if we put effort into our work or not.

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Doesn’t Like The Cut Of Your Gib

, , , , | Learning | August 2, 2019

(I am taking a studio art class in college. One of the assignments involves making sculptures out of cardstock. We are told that the most important aspect of the assignment is that our curved shapes be cut from the paper smoothly, and therefore, we MUST use a hobby knife because scissors produce a ragged cut. I’m experienced with using scissors for papercraft and know that I can get smooth cut from them, but I start with the hobby knife, anyway, because our professor is so insistent. Unfortunately, I just can’t get a smooth, curved cut with the knife; after several frustrating tries, I cave and use scissors and hope she doesn’t notice. Cue the day of the presentation:)

Professor: “Very good, [My Name]. Your cuts are very smooth.”

Me: *internally sighing in relief* “Thank you.”

Professor: *turns to the next student* “You’re cuts are jagged. I told you not to use scissors!”

Classmate: “I didn’t! I used the knife, but I couldn’t get it to cut a curved line!”

Professor: “I wanted smooth cuts. Look at [My Name]’s; that’s what I wanted!”

Me: *meekly* “Um, I actually used scissors.”

Professor: *gives me a long stare, humphs, and then moves on to the next student*

(I always wondered if she changed her instructions for the next class.)

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That’s Your Signature Art

, , , , | Right | May 12, 2019

(I go to a large convention to sell my art. Things go well and it’s eventually time to close the shop. Security ushers the visitors to the exit and while we put away things, I get visited by a last-minute shopper.)

Shopper: “Oh, this is lovely. I would like to have one of these, please.”

Me: “Certainly.”

Shopper: “I want a perfect one, without any blemishes or spots.”

Me: “Of course!”

(I create and print all my art myself and am a perfectionist, so I don’t sell anything I’m not satisfied with myself.)

Me: “Here you go, ma’am.”

Shopper: “No, not this one. This one has that stain on it.”

Me: *looking at it* “I don’t see any stains, I’m sorry. Where?”

Shopper: “Here! I want one that is perfect!”

Me: “All right, here is another one.”

Shopper: “This one is stained, as well!”

Me: “Where, ma’am? I can’t see the stain myself.”

Shopper: “Here!” *points at it*

Me: “That is my signature, ma’am.”

(She looked at the art, but then said this version was… adequate enough. Oh, well, a sale is a sale!)

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Prices To Give You An Art Attack

, , , , | Learning | May 10, 2019

(My school is holding an art fair so we can see how to sell art. There are lots of different types of artists. I go to the one who most closely resembles my art style. I am holding my best piece, which is a name poster. I figured people would want custom name posters, so I hope it will be easy to sell.)

Me: “Hi…”

Artist: “Hello there! Can I see your picture?”

Me: *hands it over* “Um… I know it’s not very good, but I was hoping people might like it enough to buy?”

Artist: “Hmm…”

Me: *talks more because silence makes me nervous* “It’s not like I’m looking for a lot of money, but my family is going through some… things… and I wanted to contribute if only a little… This won’t be a career; I’d only do this until I could get a real.”

Artist: “What did you make this with?”

Me: “Printer paper and some pens.”

Artist: “Well, it’s pretty good. You should probably use a ruler, but otherwise, the design is nice. But the materials are completely unacceptable! The first thing you need to do is go out and buy real pens. Don’t worry; I know where you can buy a set for under $100!”

Me: “Um, that’s not really–”

Artist: “And definitely upgrade your paper! It will be an expensive investment, but it will be worth it! I recommend getting a [fancy type of poster-quality paper].”

(I kind of stopped listening at that point, because she wasn’t listening to me. I didn’t have any money to spend on supplies. I still thanked her, but I left as soon as possible. In a way, she did answer my question; no one would want to buy my name posters.)

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Tipped To Be An A**hole

, , , , | Right | April 4, 2019

(I’ve been taking on digital art commissions since I first started college. When I first started taking commissions, I was inexperienced and nervous about laying out terms, and I seriously undercharged for my work. As such, I relied on tips to actually get a decent amount of money. This commissioner is already very demanding and oversteps a lot of boundaries — including but not limited to asking if we can IM to discuss work and then using it to rant all night about his terrible home life — but he is getting multiple commissions and I am desperate for the work. While I’m still working on the pieces, he broaches the subject of tipping.)

Commissioner: “So, I noticed my invoice had the option for a tip.”

Me: “Yes! All the artists I know really appreciate that Paypal has a built-in way to leave a tip for their invoices. ‘Every little bit helps,’ you know?”

Commissioner: “Okay, so it’s not required.”

(He then went offline for the night before I can respond. No tip was ever given. The best part? The commissioner was a waiter who worked for tips, too!)

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