We are running a buy-one-get-one-at-50%-off sale. Having worked in many stores with similar promos, this is the only time I’ve encountered this argument.

Customer: “Why can’t I just have one at 50% off?”

Me: “Because our promotion is to buy one at the regular price and get the other at 50%.”

Customer: “But that is just a way of tricking the customers into thinking they got a deal.”

Me: “What?”

Customer: “Your deal isn’t to get one at 50%; it is to get two for 25% off. If I have to buy one at full price, I’m not really saving 50% on the other.”

Me: “Well, I don’t set it, and that is the company’s terms for the promo.”

Customer: “So, I can’t just get one for 50%, then?”

Mathematically speaking, he isn’t wrong. However, no, he did not get just one at 50%, or even two for 25%, or even buy-one-get-one-half-off.

It’s a Monday morning, and I’m woken up by my ringing phone. The caller ID says it’s my friend, so I grab it to answer.

Me: “What?”

Friend: “Best friend! Thank God you answered. I’ve been trying to call you since yesterday!”

Me: “What’s up?”

Friend: “I think my [Money App] got hacked. [Her Ex] has a bunch of charges on his account in my name from it, but they’re not mine! He’s at his bank trying to sort it out and wants to file a police report for it, but I told him not to! If work gets wind of this, even though I didn’t do it, I’ll be fired! I handle money; if they think I’m in trouble for theft like this, I’ll be on the streets! You work for a bank; what do I do?!”

Me: “Okay. You were probably involved in a data breach. Change your password.”

Friend: “I did!”

Me: “Contact this app and see if you can get an idea of where the money was spent and where the charges originated. That will help alleviate worries that you did it if the IP was too far away to have been you.”

Friend: “Okay! I will! God, this is awful. I never even got that debit card.”

Me: “Wait, wait, wait, back up. ‘Debit card’? This isn’t some app like [Popular Cash App]?”

Friend: “No, it’s like online banking and stuff. I ordered a card and never got it.”

Me: “Okay. You’re f****** stupid is what you are. Report that card stolen; you should have done that when you didn’t get it the first time. Figure out where the charges were done, like, X amount of money spent at [Big Box Store], Y amount of money spent at [Local Gas Station]. Go talk to the managers of those places and see if you can get security footage of the person using it. Or just file the police report as your card being stolen. That’s best, actually; do that instead. You won’t get in trouble if it’s a stolen card; you’re fine.”

Friend: “Oh! Okay. I was thinking maybe I should do that, but I wanted your input on it. I ordered a new card from them.”

Me: “If it’s not here by Friday, call them like you should have last time.”

Friend: “Okay, will do. I’ve been worried sick! I tried calling you yesterday, but I couldn’t get through!”

Me: “I work six days a week; if you’re having a crisis on my one day off, that’s between you and God.”

I am a closing manager and I get called to the registers. There is a lady with a baby stroller who has already paid for her items.

Me: “What can I do for you today?”

Customer #1: “My dog was stolen from right in front. She was tied up and now she’s gone!”

Me: “Okay, have you called the police?”

Customer #1: “No, I don’t have a phone.”

Me: “Okay, I’ll let you use the store phone while I go look it up on camera.”

I do this and find the exact moment on camera. I immediately recognize the person who takes the dog as a somewhat regular, [Customer #2], who I cashed out about ten minutes ago. I watch on camera and see him ask two of my cashiers about the dog, confirmed by both of them. [Customer #2] goes in and buys dog food, waits a few more minutes, and then unties the dog and walks off. The dog is very friendly, so she goes without any fight.

I get an accurate description of the person and give it to [Customer #1], and she passes it along to the police.

I think that’s the end of it, but I answer the phone about an hour later. Plot twist! It’s [Customer #2]!

Customer #2: “Yeah, I was there a little while ago and I ended up taking a dog home with me. She was really skinny, and I talked to a couple of guys who said she was out there for a while. I just wanted to know if anyone was looking for it?”

Me: “Yes, there was someone here who was looking for her dog. She isn’t here anymore, so here’s what I recommend. I recommend calling the police, giving your side of the story, and then releasing the dog to them to be returned home.”

Customer #2: “Okay, I’ll do that.”

He ended up calling back, he said he was told there wasn’t a police report yet, so he left his name and phone number.

Another plot twist! [Customer #3] came in and explained that his friend had her dog stolen at my store, so I was able to facilitate an exchange, and hopefully, the dog was returned safely within an hour of submitting this story.

What none of us could understand is why the first option that [Customer #2] took was stealing the dog. We collectively agreed that he should have asked for me to make an announcement. Then, all of this could have been avoided.

This took place in the 1990s when I went from cook/trainer to being trained on registers at a franchise restaurant. Computers were not as user-friendly at that time.

Two ladies, friends, separately order a simple meal and drink. Somehow, I accidentally hit the button for a 10% discount and cash the first lady before opening the drawer. There is no way back after this and I inform her of my mistake, with the second lady hearing every word, and the first’s accidental saving of around a dollar or less. This transpires right after I ring up the second lady and cash her out, making it also irreversible.

Customer: “Why wasn’t our bill the same?”

Me: “As I told your friend, I made a mistake and proceeded too far to correct it. So she got a free 10% discount by my fault.”

Customer: “But that doesn’t make sense. We got the same things, so they should be the same price.”

Me: “Well, they are; if you look at the amount prior to taxes and discounts, you are paying the same. She has only benefitted because I am learning this computer and accidentally approved a discount she shouldn’t have gotten.”

Customer: “So, you make a mistake and I pay more?”

Me: “No, she paid a little less because I made a mistake.”

Customer: “So, you just couldn’t make mine the same price?”

Me: *Puzzled* “You want me to purposely make the same mistake just so you pay the same amount?”

Customer: “Exactly!”

Me: “I can’t just purposely make that mistake. As it is, they will have a record that I made the mistake already.”

Customer: “Then let’s talk to your manager.”

My manager explained why there was a difference in price and that she would not reverse the transaction and authorize a discount that shouldn’t have been applied the first time, because she would then have to discount others in line, by the same logic. The lady did sit and eat with her friend, but she gave me the side-eye the entire time she ate.

We have large plastic price numbers above pallets of groceries. A 1 fell off the $11.88 price for paper towels, so it’s now showing $1.88. A customer appears to buy a couple. She asks me to price check her other items. When I get to the towels showing $11.88, she protests that the price on the wall is $1.88. She has even taken a picture.

Me: “I’m sorry, that’s a mistake. One of the ones fell off.”

Customer: “That’s false advertising! You should honor what you show!”

When I explained more, she asked to talk to my manager.

I went to get her, chuckling at the thought that anyone could be so narrow-minded.

I swear I could see my manager’s brain lag while I explained the situation. When we got back, the customer was gone, leaving her packs of towels. According to another customer, she left cursing the store for lying to her.

I hope she’s doing well.