NovoPAIN!

, , | Healthy | November 3, 2017

(I am having a filling in my tooth replaced with a new material.)

Me: “So, doctor, I’ve had problems in the past with Novocain not really working with the standard dose. I may need a slightly larger dose to fully numb the area up.”

Dentist: “It’ll be fine. Don’t worry.”

(I do worry, but I decide maybe he’s using something a little stronger than I’ve been given before. He begins to drill out the current filling and I jump, because I can clearly feel the vibrations, when I know I shouldn’t.)

Me: “No, stop! It’s not numbed!”

Dentist: “No, that’s normal. Don’t worry.”

(He continues to drill, and I can FEEL IT. I squirm and yell and try to smack his arm with my free hand, but he just tells me to be still. He continues on, and for a brief moment, the pain is so intense, everything looks silver. So, I do the only thing I know that will stop him at this point. I bite him, which tears his latex glove.)

Dentist: “What was that for?!”

Me: “PAIN IS F****** SILVER!”

(In the end, I got my larger dose of Novocain to fully numb the area, and a note in my file that I need at least a dose and a half.)

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No Offense, But Sexism

, , , , | Right | October 26, 2017

(I’m a female and work in a large computer lab with two other employees, both male. Although most patrons have no problem with me helping them, I have run into situations where patrons refuse my help outright and ask for a male employee.)

Patron: “Can I get some help, please?”

Me: “Sure.”

Patron: “Uh… No offense. I’d feel better if [Male Employee] helped me. It’s just that he looks smarter.”

Me: “Uh… Offense taken.”

(The kicker is he was using a program that I often use, and neither one of my male coworkers knows how to use it very well.)

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Paging Strange Requests

, , , , | Right | October 19, 2017

(I am an associate manager, and I have just answered a call. There is an elderly woman on the line.)

Me: “Good afternoon. Thank you for calling [Restaurant]. This is [My Name] speaking. How can I help you?”

Customer: *raspy voice* “I understand your restaurant doesn’t have a paging service. I am looking to get in touch with my friend, [Friend]. She should be in the dining room with her son. She has grey hair and wears glasses.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but the restaurant seats almost 300 people, and we are full and busy. I am unable to go and find your friend. Is there anything else I can help you with today?”

Customer: “No, I guess not.” *hangs up*

(About 30 minutes go by and another associate manager tells me about the strangest call.)

Coworker: “Yes, it was so strange. She wanted me to go out into the dining room and find some woman with glasses. I wasn’t sure what to do. So, I indulged her for a minute and put her on hold while I went to ‘look.’ I came back to the phone to tell her I couldn’t find her friend. Once I told her the news she became a bit upset and said, ‘Today is a very unlucky day for you. Upon connection to my friend I was going to give you $1,000.’ Then, she hung up. How strange.”

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Carnado

, , , | Working | September 21, 2017

(During the start of the day, I tell my coworkers that my son passed his driver’s permit test yesterday, and we joke about staying off the road for a while. Later in the morning, we have a tornado drill, which consists of a computerized voice broadcasting the alarm over the intercom, over and over again.)

Alarm Voice: “Attention, attention. A tornado warning has been issued. Please proceed to the appropriate shelter area…” *repeating over and over again*

(We proceed to the shelter areas, and I stand there, listening to this voice over and over again.)

Coworker: *from down the hall* “Attention, attention. [My Name]’s son has been issued a driver’s permit. Please proceed to the appropriate shelter area…” *repeating over and over again*

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A Pox On Your Assumptions!

, , , , | Working | September 14, 2017

(I’ve always been a naturally skinny girl. When I was 17, I got chickenpox and lost a lot of weight, because they were in my throat. I spent a year after that trying very hard to gain weight, but couldn’t. I am very weak and frail when I go to summer camp. I have a doctor’s note saying I shouldn’t play the games, because they get very rough and I could get hurt. One day, I notice I have a large spot in the back of my throat, resembling a canker sore, so I go to the nurse’s station.)

Me: “Hey, I have a white spot on the back of my throat. It hurts and makes it hard to eat. Do you have anything that can help?”

Nurses: “We have some throat numbing spray. And we can give you some ibuprofen. But we’ve seen this before, and we’re going to monitor you closely now, to make sure you stop throwing up.”

Me: “Excuse me? I’m not throwing up.”

Nurses: “This only happens to girls who are bulimic. You’re too skinny. You need to eat and not throw up.”

Me: “I do eat! I’m only this skinny because of chickenpox! I’m actually trying to gain weight!”

(They wouldn’t believe me, no matter what I said. I’ve never had an eating disorder, and I didn’t like how closely they monitored my eating, because some of the camp food didn’t taste good, but they made me eat more than I wanted to.)

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