Suffering From Temporal Displacement

, , | Healthy | December 17, 2017

(I’m headed to a doctor’s appointment that I scheduled two weeks prior. The appointment time is 3:30 and that was confirmed twice while talking to the receptionist, and I was left a voicemail the day before my appointment again confirming my 3:30 check in. I always like to arrive early because I work in the medical field myself and I know how important it is to be in time. I show up at a very prompt 3:10.)

Me: “Hi, I’m early but I’m here to check in for my 3:30 appointment.”

Receptionist: *very blankly* “Name.”

Me: *says name*

Receptionist: *SIGH* “Let me ask the doctor is she can see you because you’re really late.”

(The receptionist walks away before I can say anything. She comes back and rolls her eyes.)

Receptionist: “I guess she’ll see you, but you’re late.”

Me: “I’m twenty minutes early. My appointment is 3:30.”

Receptionist: “No, you’re twenty minutes late. Fill this out so she can take you back.”

(It’s not worth the fight, so I sit down and finish the paperwork. Soon after, the door swings open and the doctor calls my name.)

Doctor: “Hurry back. I need to rush because you’re very late and now my schedule is behind.”

Me: “My appointment was 3:30. I’m early.”

Doctor: “That’s not what my schedule says. You’re holding up my day.”

Me: “I have a voicemail even confirming my time!”

Doctor: *rolls eyes* “Sure you do. Hurry up.”

(I’m so annoyed with being called a liar I play the voicemail on speaker.)

Doctor: “Oh. They did say to check in at 3:30. But you’re still late; now hurry up.”

(I was so annoyed but the wait on this appointment was forever and I just quickly did the appointment. She was terrible and I never went back after that.)

Breakfast Schedule Will Be Crumbling For A While

, , , , , | Related | December 14, 2017

(My mom buys a huge box of some organic multigrain toaster pastry things, and decides she doesn’t like them. Rather than return them to the store, she decides to give them to me when I stop by to pick up my daughter after work. Knowing that she doesn’t give food away without good reason, I decide to try some, and my daughter is watching me intently as I open the package.)

Daughter: “Ooh, Mommy, you have cookies? You shouldn’t have cookies before your dinner!” *wags her finger at me*

Me: “Cookies? Uhm, no, I suppose not. But since there’s two of these cookie things here, and sharing is fun, would you like one?”

Daughter: “Ooh! YES! Cookie!”

Me: *tries the “cookie,” and immediately regrets that decision*

Daughter: *bites* “Mmm, yummy cookie! Thank you, Mommy! Oh, this is so good!”

Me: “You’re welcome. Have mine… Please!”

(We ended up taking the “cookies” home with us, where she had “cookies” with breakfast every day for the next few weeks.)

Heavy Metal Is Just Cool

, , , , , , | Friendly | December 13, 2017

(My husband’s best friend is an interesting character. We don’t understand how his brain works; his logic seems consistently flawed, and he’s highly hypocritical. This interaction sticks out to me as one of the most bizarre to date. Note: this takes place in the middle of summer in Arizona, and our AC has broken. My husband mentions getting a fan while waiting for it to be repaired.)

Friend: “Make sure it’s a metal fan.”

Husband: “What? Why would that make a difference?”

Friend: “Metal fans cool air as it goes through them.”

Husband: *pause* “That’s not how that works.”

(Later on, the friend comes to visit us and brings his own metal fan to prove the point. We have a plastic one by now, and the AC has been fixed. After setting up the fans and testing them by putting his hands in front of him, an argument ensues.)

Friend: “See? My metal fan is cooler!”

Me: “Or it could be that you set the metal fan up in the coolest room in the house.”

Husband: “Seriously, the fan’s material makes no difference.” *goes on to explain about BTUs, circulation, and how it’s literally impossible to make something colder just by moving the air really fast*

Friend: *refusing to listen* “Listen. My experience says metal fans are cooler.”

Husband & Me: *sigh*

(Gotta love when people push forward personal anecdotes as if they’re tested and proven science.)

It’s Going To Be One Of Those Days… We Think

, , , , , , | Working | December 8, 2017

(As a call center, we work seven days a week. As a result, most people’s weekends aren’t Saturday and Sunday. Today, Tuesday, one of my coworkers says to another:)

Coworker #1: “Tomorrow is your Friday, isn’t it?”

Coworker #2: “No, it’s my Thursday.”

Coworker #1: “Oh, that’s right; it’s Wednesday!”

When Customers Scam Themselves

, , , , , | Right | December 8, 2017

(I work at a kitchen and bath showroom that sells sinks, faucets, showers, etc.)

Customer: “I want this shower set!” *points to an expensive set*

Me: “Great. That one is wonderful! Now, do you already have this brand in your shower or are you opening the walls?”

Customer: “I don’t see why you need to know that!”

Me: “Sorry, sir, but every brand’s showers have specific valves that are placed in the wall. Each brand only works with their valves. To change a shower, unless you stay with the same brand, you also have to switch valves.”

Customer: “Oh, that is a lie. Everyone knows that is a scam to get more money.”

Me: “Well, the valve only costs about $40 for this brand. It’s one of the most affordable valves!”

Customer: “Whatever. Just give me this shower.”

Me: “Okay, sir, your total with the valve is-“

Customer: “I don’t need the valve! Stop trying to charge me more!”

Me: “Oh, so, you do have this brand already?”

Customer: “Ugh, no! I just told you that I am onto your scam!”

Me: “Sir, I won’t sell you this shower unless you buy the valve. The shower won’t work. I won’t sell you an item that is not going to work.”

Customer: “How dare you! Are you denying me service for not going along with your scam?”

Me: “No, I am saving you money and refusing to scam you by selling you an item that will not function for you.”

Customer: “I cannot believe this! I will get you fired for this! You are discriminating against me for not going along with your scheme!”

Me: “Sir, all you have to do is buy a $40 valve and place it in your wall. Every shower has one. Every brand has one. I am trying to save you a lot of time and wasted effort.”

Customer: “I will never shop here! I am going to [Our Biggest Competitor]!”

Me: “That is fine, sir, but they will not sell to you without the valve or the same brand already being in place. If they do, then they are scamming you out of your money.”

(The customer storms out. Three days later:)

Same Customer: “I want to buy that shower and valve.”

Me: “Okay, great. I am glad that you came back to purchase.”

Same Customer: “I went to the other store and bought the item and it didn’t work. But because I opened it, they refused to refund me. I have to buy this twice now. Why didn’t you tell me that I needed the valve?”

Me: “…”

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