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Pane-ful Marriage

, , , , , | Right | May 18, 2010

(A customer who has just made a purchase comes back into our store asking for help; she’s locked her keys in her car. I go out to try and help.)

Me: “Ma’am, your window is open.”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “Your window. It’s open.”

(The customer reaches in and gets her keys, opens the door, rolls up the window, locks the car, throws the keys back inside, and closes the door.)

Me: “Um…”

Customer: “I know! I know! It’s just that I already called my husband to bring the second set! He’d have given me h*** if he saw the window was open!”


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Extremely Dis-concert-ing

, , , , | Right | May 14, 2010

Me: “Thank you for calling [Library]. How may I be of assistance?”

Caller: “Yeah, my son said he wanted to check out some CDs. Do you guys have CDs?”

Me: “Of course. Can you tell me what type of CD he’s looking for?”

Caller: “What do you mean?”

Me: “I mean is he looking for audiobooks, computer games, music?”

Caller: “I don’t understand.”

Me: “I’m sorry, let me be more clear. Did he want–”

Caller: “No, I mean I don’t understand what you said before.”

Me: “I was just asking if you knew what type of CD he was looking for. Like audiobooks, or music, or–”

Caller: “Wait, what’s that?”

Me: “What’s what?”

Caller: “That thing you just said.”

Me: “What, music?”

Caller: “Yeah, what’s that?”

Not Caught Up In The Web

, , , | Right | May 4, 2010

Me: “Thank you for calling. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “My mother’s computer won’t connect to the Internet.”

Me: “All right, let’s see if we can figure out the issue.”

(I spend five minutes troubleshooting the connection, and still can’t get it connected.)

Me: “I can’t find anything wrong with your computer. Is it a desktop or a laptop?”

Customer: “I don’t know. She’s in Florida, so I’ll have to call and ask her.”

Me: “Okay, do you happen to know her Internet service provider?”

Customer: “Yes, it’s you guys.”

Me: “Sir, we’re a repair center. Are you sure she has Internet?”

Customer: “Doesn’t it come free with the computer?”

Me: “No, they stopped doing that a while ago.”

Customer: “Figures. I’ll tell her!”

In A Mail Dominated Industry, Some Are Left Behind

, , , , | Right | April 27, 2010

(I’ve set up an elderly customer with a paid public computer to use.)

Customer: “How do I get to my email?”

Me: “Who is your account with?”

Customer: “I don’t know. Who?”

Me: “You don’t know?”

Customer: “The email account doesn’t come with the computer?”


This story is part of our Old People & Technology roundup.

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In Search Of Common Law And Common Sense

, , , | Right | April 23, 2010

Me: “This is [Law Firm]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Are you located on the fifth floor?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “Well, I am on the fifth floor and there are no offices here.”

Me: “There are three law firms on the fifth floor, ma’am. We are the one all the way to the right of the elevator.”

Customer: “No, there are no offices on this floor. It’s totally open. And, it’s hot.”

Me: “Hot?”

Customer: “Yeah, it’s hot. I think you gave me the wrong address.”

(I verify the address, and the customer has the correct address.)

Customer: “Well, it’s just an open floor. I got out of my car up here and there’s no office.”

Me: “Are you… are you on the fifth floor of the parking garage?”

(My office window looks out at the roof (fifth) level of the parking garage. Sure enough, there is a woman on her cell phone pacing around the roof level of the parking garage.)

Customer: “You told me to go to the fifth floor.”

Me: “Of the office building, ma’am, not of the parking garage.”