That Poor, Poor Doormat
My husband is the middle child with an older sister and a younger brother.
Being the “oopsie” baby, my brother-in-law was a bit coddled. He never really learned any life skills and is a bit of what the Internet would call an incel. At one point, we even had to tell him to take a shower because he stunk so badly. While he is extremely smart, he is the kind of person who will meet his untimely demise by being hit by a bus because he forgot to look both ways. What he makes up in book-smarts, he severely lacks in street-smarts — and social skills, for that matter. It doesn’t help that he has sort of fallen into major success so he believes life is easy.
My sister-in-law is very sweet but was also parentified by her conservative parents. While [Brother-In-Law] doesn’t know how to wipe his own a**, [Sister-In-Law] did most of the domestic work such as cooking, cleaning, and doing laundry. As a result, while she is neat, clean, and organized, she is stunted in a lot of ways. For example, she’s highly naïve, and she never had the opportunity to go to college like her brothers, and as a result, she lived at home until she was nearly thirty-four because she could never afford rent in our city.
When she does move out, it is into [Brother-In-Law]’s house.
My dear husband and I are concerned about it for different reasons. He is concerned in case twenty-seven-year-old [Brother-In-Law] wants to bring a girl home. I am concerned that [Sister-In-Law] will become a maid. Obviously, one of us has very valid concerns and the other one is living in a fantasy world where his brother has “game”. Sure enough, one of our fears is realized.
We go to visit [Sister-In-Law], and she is doing laundry. As we are chatting, I cannot help but notice that while she tends to like men’s graphic tees, one is distinctly neck-beard gamer in nature. I keep quiet, but my husband does not.
Husband: “So, how do you like living together?”
Sister-In-Law: “It is a lot like living with Mom and Dad, but I have my own place without them, you know?”
Husband: “So, you are splitting cooking responsibilities?”
Sister-In-Law: “No. I mostly cook.”
Husband: “At least [Brother-In-Law] gets groceries, right?”
Sister-In-Law: “No… I do the shopping. I don’t mind it.”
Dear husband gives me a look that I pointedly ignore.
Me: “Well, at least you have someone to share in the cleaning?”
Sister-In-Law: “Well, [Brother-In-Law] is kind of a mess…”
Me: “Does he at least keep it to his own room?”
Sister-In-Law: *Oblivious* “I have to clean it twice a week. It is fine, though. I usually do it when I do laundry.”
Husband: “Laundry?”
Sister-In-Law: “Yeah.” *Motions to the shirt* “I am doing it right now.”
Husband: “And [Brother-In-Law]?”
Sister-In-Law: “Well, it is the least I can do. He is letting me live here. He could be living alone. It has to be hard on his dating life living with his sis.”
My husband glowers at me as I stifle laughter, knowing full well why he cannot actually find anyone to go on a second date with him. And trust me, it has more to do with him thinking it appropriate to be rude to a girl for not playing “Guild Wars 2” than living with such a kind, caring, albeit a little daft and clingy sister.
After she walks away, I turn to my husband.
Me: *Jokingly* “No wonder he doesn’t have a girlfriend; he already has the live-in maid part.”
It is their life, but I cannot imagine paying rent to do my landlord’s laundry, brother or not.
