It Was All Right In The Innuendo

, , , , | Right | April 8, 2020

(I am male. I sell cellphones at a third-party retailer. There are a lot of things we can’t do with accounts because of our third-party status. It tends to annoy a lot of people because sometimes things can take hours for a single phone line if we run into an issue. One day, I have that happen; what should’ve been about thirty minutes takes almost four hours, but the customer, who is getting this phone for his wife, has been really calm and cool the whole time, making sure I know he doesn’t blame me for issues we have with our systems while waiting for the carriers to get back to us. Finally, we get to him paying for the phone, and he’s just pulled out his card and is looking at the chip reader.)

Customer: “Do you want me to stick it in?”

Me: “Yes, sir, please do.”

Customer: “Finally someone said yes to that question, and you even said please.”

(He then gave me a suggestive eyebrow wiggle and then bent over laughing. It took me a couple of seconds because my mind was still in work mode so I wasn’t looking for something suggestive in his words, but when I did I started laughing, too. His joke and him making it obvious it was just a joke brightened what had previously been a really annoying day.)

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Unfiltered Story #191508

, , | Unfiltered | April 6, 2020

(I work as a cashier at a sporting goods store in town. We get a lot of kids buying supplies for school athletics. One Teenager comes in with his Mom to return some cleats because the Teenager wanted metal cleats but had plastic ones. I call up a Manager to process the transaction. The Mom explains to my Manager that they want metal cleats.)
Manager: (to Teenager) Are you planning on playing city league, or just for school?
Teenager: Probably both
Manager: All right, well unless they changed something from last year, you won’t be able to use metal cleats for city league. They only allow the plastic ones for safety reasons.
Teenager: (in a condescending tone, after a solid 5 seconds of staring blankly at my manager) I ONLY wear metal cleats.
Manager: Ooookay, just thought I’d warn you. Let’s go ahead and do that return.
(We processed the return, with the mother badgering her son about not being able to wear metal cleats the whole way through. Finally, the leave.)
Manager & Me: (matching Teenager’s condescending tone, in unison): But I ONLY wear metal cleats.

Unfiltered Story #191487

, , | Unfiltered | April 4, 2020

*Customer calls in*

M: Hello, this i..
C: DO YOU have XXXXXX? (Some rare and obscure product)
M: Um, no we dont carry this product at out store sir.
C: Oh……..do you carry XXXXXXX?
M: No……we dont carry that product……I just said that…
C: Can you look up in your catalog to see which store has it!!!
M: I’m sorry, its not that we are out of stock, its just that this company doesnt sell that item.
C: Well WHERE THE **** would I get it????
M: You could try Lowes, they’re next to us and I believe that I have seen it there.
C: IS THAT A FACT OR A GUESS?
M:…..That is a GOOD GUESS because I work for “xxxx” sir, I DONT WORK FOR LOWES.
C: ******* *Click*

Unfiltered Story #191486

, , | Unfiltered | April 4, 2020

Me: hey thanks for calling xxxxxx, what can I do for you?
Customer: (obviously very drunk) I need a deliveryyyyyy
Me: okay what’s the address on that?
Customer: excuse me?
Me: the address?
Customer: I’m not telling you where I live that’s creepy
Me: then I can’t deliver to you
Customer: FINE I’ll order somewhere else instead
(As if they would know her address?)

A Support Shirt Results In A Show Of Support

, , , , , | Right | April 1, 2020

(I’m a male and I work in the electronics section of a bulk store. I am helping in the clothing section one night. I wear tank-top-style compression undershirts because they’re moisture-wicking and where we live regularly reaches 120+ degrees Fahrenheit and even after 10:00 pm can still be over 115 degrees.

I move and the strap over my shoulder cuts into my cut arm a bit, so I reach through my sleeve to readjust it when a lady, I’m guessing between 35 and 45 years old, walks up and puts her hand on my shoulder.)

Customer: “I just wanted you to know that until I saw you adjust your bra strap I never would’ve guessed you were trans. You look very convincing as a man!”

(She walked away. I relayed the message to my coworkers and we all had a laugh, trying to figure out how she thought I was a biological female.

I’m glad she was trying to be supportive but for the next several weeks I am questioning if I somehow redeveloped the feminine physique I had in high school and lost when I put on 45 pounds within two months of graduating.)

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