After Weighing And Measuring Your Complaint, We Deem It Unworthy

, , , | Right | December 9, 2020

I have just gotten in on my shift at 11:00 am, and the manager in charge sends me to a customer who’s just looking at the menus rather intently. I go to help him and see that he is looking at the fine print on the menus.

Me: “Can I help you?”

Customer: “Tell me where it says that the drinks are $.99 before 10:00 am.”

It clearly states, “$.99 morning drink stop.” I can’t convey that clearly. Also, there are banners saying we have half-priced drinks all day when ordered through the app, and we tell customers that if not ordered through the app, drinks are half-priced from two to four pm.

Customer: “This is false advertising. I am going to call the state weights and measures department about this.”

Me: “Okay, go ahead.”

I knew that they wouldn’t be able to help him as the weights and measures department doesn’t handle false advertising; they are in charge of uniformity of weights and measures laws, regulations, and standards. The people he needed to call were the Federal Trade Commission.

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It Was Right Under Her Nose… Er… Ears

, , , , , | Right | November 30, 2020

I’m a child, waiting in line to go through customs, which is something I’ve done often by this point in time. There’s a young, fashionable lady in front of us at the front of the line. Her suitcase has gone through and she has taken off her shoes, and she’s put her wallet and phone in the bin, but something is still setting off the metal detector. The male TSA agent helping her is confused.

Agent: “Ma’am, I just don’t know why it keeps going off! You’re sure you don’t have anything in your pockets?”

Lady: “I don’t! Except this gum, but I don’t think it would set it off.”

Agent: “Neither do I, but put it in the bin and go through again.”

The machine beeps again as she walks through.

Agent: “All right. Listen. I still don’t know what is setting off this machine. We have to pat you down, but I have to get a female agent for that.”

Lady: *Patiently* “That’s all right. I’ll wait.”

The male TSA agent leaves to find a female agent and comes back a few minutes later.

Female Agent: “Are you the one who keeps setting off the machine?”

Lady: “Yeah, and we can’t figure out why!”

Female Agent: “Hon, were you wearing those earrings when you went through? They usually don’t set off the alarm, but if that’s it, we won’t have to pat you down.”

The lady takes off her earrings, gigantic hoops that lay over her shoulders. She puts them in the bin and walks through, no problem.

Me: *Taking my shoes off* “Don’t worry; I’m not wearing earrings!”

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Scarier Than Slender Man, Is Sullen Man

, , , , | Right | November 26, 2020

The grocery store I frequent can get very busy and crowded, to the point where you have to take a number at the deli. Today when I approach the deli, a woman gets there just ahead of me and takes her number before I do.

We both stand off to the side, waiting for the two or three other customers ahead of us, when in comes the Sullen Man.

He doesn’t seem particularly grumpy, but for some reason, he gives me a long look as he walks past before turning to take his number, as well. However, he doesn’t stand back like the rest of us but leans right up against the display case, watching the two deli employees.

Eventually, one of the employees approaches the side of the deli we’re all waiting on.

Employee #1: “Who’s next?”

I’m confused as to why the numbers aren’t being called. Sullen Man looks right at me. Being a quiet introvert, I merely indicate the woman who was ahead of me, but Sullen Man has already turned back to the employee and starts rattling off his order. The woman and I share a look but say nothing. However, another customer, who has been standing towards the other end of the deli, speaks up.

Customer: *Firm, but polite* “Excuse me, but my wife and I have been waiting longer. Why aren’t you calling the numbers?”

[Employee #1] apologizes to both Sullen Man and the customer and proceeds to take the correct order. We all go back to waiting, with Sullen Man earning his name with an angry scowl and pointedly leaning against the display case again.

The employees start calling numbers after this. The woman ahead of me is soon being helped by [Employee #1], while [Employee #2] finishes up with another.

Employee #2: *From the other end of the deli* “Number forty!”

I go to approach, but before I can take a step:

Employee #2: “Forty-one!”

The Sullen Man leans over the counter while waving his ticket around, proclaiming loudly:

Sullen Man: “Here! Here! Right here! Forty-one!”

[Employee #2] comes over and starts taking his order. Fed up, I move over to the counter and into his space, which is definitely outside my comfort zone, but I’m determined at this point to make this impatient jerk twiddle his thumbs a bit longer.

Me: *Showing my ticket* “Excuse me, but I have forty.”

Employee #2: *To the Sullen Man* “I’m sorry, sir. I need to take care of her first. What can I get you, ma’am?”

The Sullen Man doesn’t say anything, and he certainly doesn’t move, either. I have to give my order over his shoulder. After that, I step back. A moment later, though, I see [Employee #2] look at me and say something. With the store being so loud and crowded, though, I can’t hear and have to move closer, again invading the Sullen Man’s space because he won’t budge an inch.

Me: “I’m sorry, what was that?”

Employee #2: “How did you want it sliced?”

Me: “Oh. Sand—”

Sullen Man: “I didn’t order anything!”

Employee #2: “I was talking to her, sir.”

I’m forced to stand behind him.

Me: “Sandwich slices, please.”

I immediately step back again. The Sullen Man is still making a show of leaning against the display case.

Sullen Man: “I’m just waiting here!”

Me:Everyone is f****** waiting!”

He was quiet after that.

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You’re Off The Clock And They’re Off Their Rocker

, , , , | Right | November 20, 2020

Due to the health situation, as well as personal preference, I wear a mask any time I leave my home. Nobody in the area has the same mask, and we’re in a small town, so people often recognize me. This morning as I am grabbing my morning supplies at the gas station down the street, a customer recognizes me.

Customer: “You, help me find these things.”

Me: “I don’t work here.”

Customer: “I know. I need help.”

This exchange went on for a few moments, her getting more and more insistent about me being the person to help her. The woman even tried to block me in the store! Now, I am generally a helpful and pleasant person… at least until I am treated with disrespect. The moment she blocked me in, I flipped on her and warned her that I would remove her by force if necessary.

Luckily, she ended up moving and I left the store in a rush to her threats of calling my manager.

Whoever you are, lady, I hope you get the help you need, but I don’t work everywhere and I’m not licensed to get you mental help.

At least my coworkers and boss got a funny Entitled Woman in the Wild story when I finally did get in.

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It Never Sticks

, , , | Right | November 18, 2020

I mix paint and this keeps happening. 

Me: “Here’s your paint! Do you need any sticks or openers?”

Customer: “No, thank you.”

A moment passes.

Customer: “Could I have one of those sticks?”

Me: “Sure! Would you like an opener, as well?”

Customer: “Yes, please.”

This has happened across genders, ages, ethnicities, and levels of English-speaking skill. I have no idea what they think I’m asking.

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