Hard To Remember Life In The Before Times

, , , , | Healthy | December 27, 2020

It’s Wednesday and I have been sick for a couple of days. I try to be seen at urgent care, but due to the health crisis, they have nothing available until Friday afternoon. I take the Friday slot. Since some of my symptoms could also be symptoms of the current spreading illness, I also schedule a free screening at a county test site on Thursday. I get the results on Friday morning before my urgent care visit.

An hour and a half after my slot, the provider is able to see me. I describe my symptoms. 

Me: “I have a cough, sore throat, fatigue, and a little shortness of breath. I did get a [illness] test and it was negative.”

Provider: “It was negative?”

Me: “Yes, thankfully.”

Provider: “Then why are you here?”

Me: *Taken a little aback* “Because I’m sick?”

The provider finished the exam and diagnosed me with an upper respiratory infection.

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Not Realizing She Is “Receiving” Life-Saving Service

, , , , | Right | December 16, 2020

Our storefront is right up on the street, which means that the receiving bay our delivery trucks pull up to is on the same side of the building as where the customers park, just to the right of our parking entrance. A truck is backing up to our receiving bay door when one of our grumpy regulars appears. 

Customer: “What is this truck doing here?! It’s in my way!”

Our receiving manager comes over, waving her away.

Manager: “We’re getting a delivery. Just wait a moment and then walk around after the truck stops moving.”

Customer: “So it’s about to move?”

Manager: “Yes, but he’s not leaving; he’s about to back up and block this path off. You’ll have to walk around the front of the truck to get to the other side where the entrance is. Sorry.”

Customer: “But how am I supposed to get in with this in the way?!”

The manager repeats the instructions, pointing.

Manager: “You’ll have to loop around the front, but just wait a moment and— OH, MY GOD, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!”

The lady got impatient and decided to cut BETWEEN the truck and the receiving bay as it was backing up with the ramp descending. She came from the right side, so the driver can’t see her. Our receiving manager leaps from the bay, waving his arms and screaming for the driver to stop. 

The old lady continues towards the entrance, squawking about how inconvenient and rude young people are, completely oblivious to how she almost got cut in half.

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After Weighing And Measuring Your Complaint, We Deem It Unworthy

, , , | Right | December 9, 2020

I have just gotten in on my shift at 11:00 am, and the manager in charge sends me to a customer who’s just looking at the menus rather intently. I go to help him and see that he is looking at the fine print on the menus.

Me: “Can I help you?”

Customer: “Tell me where it says that the drinks are $.99 before 10:00 am.”

It clearly states, “$.99 morning drink stop.” I can’t convey that clearly. Also, there are banners saying we have half-priced drinks all day when ordered through the app, and we tell customers that if not ordered through the app, drinks are half-priced from two to four pm.

Customer: “This is false advertising. I am going to call the state weights and measures department about this.”

Me: “Okay, go ahead.”

I knew that they wouldn’t be able to help him as the weights and measures department doesn’t handle false advertising; they are in charge of uniformity of weights and measures laws, regulations, and standards. The people he needed to call were the Federal Trade Commission.

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It Was Right Under Her Nose… Er… Ears

, , , , , | Right | November 30, 2020

I’m a child, waiting in line to go through customs, which is something I’ve done often by this point in time. There’s a young, fashionable lady in front of us at the front of the line. Her suitcase has gone through and she has taken off her shoes, and she’s put her wallet and phone in the bin, but something is still setting off the metal detector. The male TSA agent helping her is confused.

Agent: “Ma’am, I just don’t know why it keeps going off! You’re sure you don’t have anything in your pockets?”

Lady: “I don’t! Except this gum, but I don’t think it would set it off.”

Agent: “Neither do I, but put it in the bin and go through again.”

The machine beeps again as she walks through.

Agent: “All right. Listen. I still don’t know what is setting off this machine. We have to pat you down, but I have to get a female agent for that.”

Lady: *Patiently* “That’s all right. I’ll wait.”

The male TSA agent leaves to find a female agent and comes back a few minutes later.

Female Agent: “Are you the one who keeps setting off the machine?”

Lady: “Yeah, and we can’t figure out why!”

Female Agent: “Hon, were you wearing those earrings when you went through? They usually don’t set off the alarm, but if that’s it, we won’t have to pat you down.”

The lady takes off her earrings, gigantic hoops that lay over her shoulders. She puts them in the bin and walks through, no problem.

Me: *Taking my shoes off* “Don’t worry; I’m not wearing earrings!”

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Scarier Than Slender Man, Is Sullen Man

, , , , | Right | November 26, 2020

The grocery store I frequent can get very busy and crowded, to the point where you have to take a number at the deli. Today when I approach the deli, a woman gets there just ahead of me and takes her number before I do.

We both stand off to the side, waiting for the two or three other customers ahead of us, when in comes the Sullen Man.

He doesn’t seem particularly grumpy, but for some reason, he gives me a long look as he walks past before turning to take his number, as well. However, he doesn’t stand back like the rest of us but leans right up against the display case, watching the two deli employees.

Eventually, one of the employees approaches the side of the deli we’re all waiting on.

Employee #1: “Who’s next?”

I’m confused as to why the numbers aren’t being called. Sullen Man looks right at me. Being a quiet introvert, I merely indicate the woman who was ahead of me, but Sullen Man has already turned back to the employee and starts rattling off his order. The woman and I share a look but say nothing. However, another customer, who has been standing towards the other end of the deli, speaks up.

Customer: *Firm, but polite* “Excuse me, but my wife and I have been waiting longer. Why aren’t you calling the numbers?”

[Employee #1] apologizes to both Sullen Man and the customer and proceeds to take the correct order. We all go back to waiting, with Sullen Man earning his name with an angry scowl and pointedly leaning against the display case again.

The employees start calling numbers after this. The woman ahead of me is soon being helped by [Employee #1], while [Employee #2] finishes up with another.

Employee #2: *From the other end of the deli* “Number forty!”

I go to approach, but before I can take a step:

Employee #2: “Forty-one!”

The Sullen Man leans over the counter while waving his ticket around, proclaiming loudly:

Sullen Man: “Here! Here! Right here! Forty-one!”

[Employee #2] comes over and starts taking his order. Fed up, I move over to the counter and into his space, which is definitely outside my comfort zone, but I’m determined at this point to make this impatient jerk twiddle his thumbs a bit longer.

Me: *Showing my ticket* “Excuse me, but I have forty.”

Employee #2: *To the Sullen Man* “I’m sorry, sir. I need to take care of her first. What can I get you, ma’am?”

The Sullen Man doesn’t say anything, and he certainly doesn’t move, either. I have to give my order over his shoulder. After that, I step back. A moment later, though, I see [Employee #2] look at me and say something. With the store being so loud and crowded, though, I can’t hear and have to move closer, again invading the Sullen Man’s space because he won’t budge an inch.

Me: “I’m sorry, what was that?”

Employee #2: “How did you want it sliced?”

Me: “Oh. Sand—”

Sullen Man: “I didn’t order anything!”

Employee #2: “I was talking to her, sir.”

I’m forced to stand behind him.

Me: “Sandwich slices, please.”

I immediately step back again. The Sullen Man is still making a show of leaning against the display case.

Sullen Man: “I’m just waiting here!”

Me:Everyone is f****** waiting!”

He was quiet after that.

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