Not Quite A Light-Bulb Moment, Part 2

, , , | Right | February 8, 2021

I’m working a morning shift at the cash register at a popular discount store. Suddenly, the power in the entire store — I later learn it was the entire block — goes out. Usually, it comes back within five minutes; this time it does not because a car has crashed into a power pole, so we are without power for more than forty-five minutes.

Most people are aware that the cash registers run on electricity, so they begin to leave their stuff behind or just simply leave the line to continue looking around. One person, however, begins yelling at me when I tell her I won’t be able to check her out.

Customer: “What do you mean, you can’t check me out?”

Me: “The power in the entire store is out, ma’am.”

Customer: “What does that have to do with anything?!”

Me: “I can’t use the register without the electricity.”

Customer: “That’s absurd! Just open the money box and put my money in there for the stuff I have!”

I just gave my store manager a pointed look that said, “I’m not dealing with this,” and left to put the cold stuff people were leaving away. We have no keys to open the tills.

Not Quite A Light-Bulb Moment

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Wearing And Tearing On My Nerves

, , , , , | Working | February 1, 2021

Three days a week, I work at a satellite location — a different location than where I am assigned. It is considered direct report. This means that I leave from home, arrive at the satellite location, leave the location, and go home — no need to stop at my assigned workplace.

It’s a Monday morning and I have to be at work early on this day: six am, to be exact. Fifteen minutes after I arrive, a disgruntled coworker arrives to relieve a graveyard coworker. She is notorious for hating to come out to the satellite location which boggles me because I love it. There’s no one to breathe down your neck or micromanage you. As soon as I see her, I know it’s too early for this.

Disgruntled Employee: *Immediately after arriving* “Good morning. [Graveyard Coworker], I’m sorry I’m late. I had to drive my personal vehicle here. This is ridiculous. How can they make us do that?”

I just stay silent and listen.

Graveyard Coworker: “I don’t know, Ms. [Disgruntled Employee].”  

Disgruntled Employee: “I mean, they’re not going to pay for gas or wear and tear, right, [My Name]?”

Me: “Do they pay for that stuff for you to drive to work normally?”

Disgruntled Employee: *Pauses* “Well, I’m just saying, what if I get in a crash on the way? I won’t be covered.”

I have already lost all patience as this has been a long time coming.

Me: “Seriously? You aren’t ‘covered’ now! You drive every day from home to work, work to home. How is this any different? Maybe if you went to [Assigned Place] first and then here, then maybe that would matter. But this is direct report. Home, here; here, home. That’s it. It’s simple. Stop finding something to complain about or quit. It’s that simple. You don’t expect gas and incidentals to show up to the [Assigned Place], so why in the h*** would you expect them to cover that for a direct report? It’s no different from your daily commute.”

Both were silent at this point. To put things in perspective, our satellite location is literally right down the road from where we are assigned. It’s not far or out of the way.

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And That’s How The Cookie Mathematically Crumbles

, , , | Right | January 31, 2021

I work at a bakery that sells cookies either individually for a dollar each or by boxes of a dozen for $6. A customer comes up and picks out six cookies.

Me: “Would like to get a dozen? If you buy six, you basically get to pick out another six free.”

Customer: *Blinks at me* “Oh, you’re giving away free cookies?”

Me: “You get twice as many for no extra charge.”

He takes an obnoxious amount of time to select the other cookies, but eventually, I assemble his box. As I’m ringing him up, he notices the sign behind me advertising the deal. 

Customer: “Oh, that’s just what the box costs?”

Me: “What do you mean?”

Customer: “I thought you said I was getting the other six for free?”

Me: *Explaining the math* “It’s a basic bulk discount. Rather than paying full price, you get half-off.”

Customer: “But you’re not giving away free cookies? I thought you had some kind of deal going on, but that’s just the price of the box.”

Me: “Well, we are… except the deal is always on offer all the time.”

Customer: “Well, never mind, then. I don’t want it if it’s not special.”

He turned heel and walked off without another word. I ended up having to toss the box because he’d picked out some peanut butter cookies and we had to keep them from cross-contaminating.

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, , , , | Right | January 11, 2021

In our bakery, we have our bagels and pretzels on display on these hooks where customers can walk up and serve themselves.

Customer: “Which one is this?”

She asks instead of, you know, reading the tag that is directly in front of it. I have to contort my body over the counter to see which one she is talking about.

Me: “Cinnamon crunch.”

Customer: “Does it taste like cinnamon?”

Me: *Pause* “Yes?”

At what point is “Duh!” an appropriate response to a customer’s line of questioning?

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Thank God For Observant Strangers!

, , , , , | Friendly | December 30, 2020

I’ve been visiting my brother in another state, and we go to grab lunch a couple of hours before I fly back home. Suddenly, a woman walks over to our table.

Woman: “[My Name]?”

Me: “What?”

Woman: “Are you [My Name]?”

I’m trying to figure out if I know her from somewhere.

Me: “Yes…?”

Woman: “I found your wallet. Here.”

I didn’t even realize that it had slipped out of my pocket! I happened to be wearing the same outfit as when I had my driver’s license picture taken, so the woman recognized me right away. I thanked her profusely. If she hadn’t happened upon my wallet and found me, I probably wouldn’t have realized it was missing until I got to the airport.

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