Heavy Metal Is Just Cool

, , , , , , | Friendly | December 13, 2017

(My husband’s best friend is an interesting character. We don’t understand how his brain works; his logic seems consistently flawed, and he’s highly hypocritical. This interaction sticks out to me as one of the most bizarre to date. Note: this takes place in the middle of summer in Arizona, and our AC has broken. My husband mentions getting a fan while waiting for it to be repaired.)

Friend: “Make sure it’s a metal fan.”

Husband: “What? Why would that make a difference?”

Friend: “Metal fans cool air as it goes through them.”

Husband: *pause* “That’s not how that works.”

(Later on, the friend comes to visit us and brings his own metal fan to prove the point. We have a plastic one by now, and the AC has been fixed. After setting up the fans and testing them by putting his hands in front of him, an argument ensues.)

Friend: “See? My metal fan is cooler!”

Me: “Or it could be that you set the metal fan up in the coolest room in the house.”

Husband: “Seriously, the fan’s material makes no difference.” *goes on to explain about BTUs, circulation, and how it’s literally impossible to make something colder just by moving the air really fast*

Friend: *refusing to listen* “Listen. My experience says metal fans are cooler.”

Husband & Me: *sigh*

(Gotta love when people push forward personal anecdotes as if they’re tested and proven science.)

It’s Going To Be One Of Those Days… We Think

, , , , , , | Working | December 8, 2017

(As a call center, we work seven days a week. As a result, most people’s weekends aren’t Saturday and Sunday. Today, Tuesday, one of my coworkers says to another:)

Coworker #1: “Tomorrow is your Friday, isn’t it?”

Coworker #2: “No, it’s my Thursday.”

Coworker #1: “Oh, that’s right; it’s Wednesday!”

When Customers Scam Themselves

, , , , , | Right | December 8, 2017

(I work at a kitchen and bath showroom that sells sinks, faucets, showers, etc.)

Customer: “I want this shower set!” *points to an expensive set*

Me: “Great. That one is wonderful! Now, do you already have this brand in your shower or are you opening the walls?”

Customer: “I don’t see why you need to know that!”

Me: “Sorry, sir, but every brand’s showers have specific valves that are placed in the wall. Each brand only works with their valves. To change a shower, unless you stay with the same brand, you also have to switch valves.”

Customer: “Oh, that is a lie. Everyone knows that is a scam to get more money.”

Me: “Well, the valve only costs about $40 for this brand. It’s one of the most affordable valves!”

Customer: “Whatever. Just give me this shower.”

Me: “Okay, sir, your total with the valve is-“

Customer: “I don’t need the valve! Stop trying to charge me more!”

Me: “Oh, so, you do have this brand already?”

Customer: “Ugh, no! I just told you that I am onto your scam!”

Me: “Sir, I won’t sell you this shower unless you buy the valve. The shower won’t work. I won’t sell you an item that is not going to work.”

Customer: “How dare you! Are you denying me service for not going along with your scam?”

Me: “No, I am saving you money and refusing to scam you by selling you an item that will not function for you.”

Customer: “I cannot believe this! I will get you fired for this! You are discriminating against me for not going along with your scheme!”

Me: “Sir, all you have to do is buy a $40 valve and place it in your wall. Every shower has one. Every brand has one. I am trying to save you a lot of time and wasted effort.”

Customer: “I will never shop here! I am going to [Our Biggest Competitor]!”

Me: “That is fine, sir, but they will not sell to you without the valve or the same brand already being in place. If they do, then they are scamming you out of your money.”

(The customer storms out. Three days later:)

Same Customer: “I want to buy that shower and valve.”

Me: “Okay, great. I am glad that you came back to purchase.”

Same Customer: “I went to the other store and bought the item and it didn’t work. But because I opened it, they refused to refund me. I have to buy this twice now. Why didn’t you tell me that I needed the valve?”

Me: “…”

Unfiltered Story #101065

, , | Unfiltered | November 28, 2017

I’m shopping after work at the Best Buy, because it’s the electronics store closest to my house. They have convenience items, like cookies, sodas, and various treats along a small aisle by the cash registers. A man and his kid are checking out in front of me.

Kid: Daddy! Daddy-daddy-daddy-daaaaddyyyyy! Can I have this? Please? *puts a bag of cookies on the counter by the register, and addresses the cashier* I wanna get these cookies too!
Dad: Son, no. Reme-
Cashier: OH! I don’t KNOW, you better ask your MOMMY! She mi-
Kid: I DON’T HAAAAAAAVE A MOMMY! *starts wailing*
Dad: Who? What? *trying to talk and comfort his son through the crying* Son, I already told you, we have those cookies at home! *glares at Cashier, and says quietly* You have some damn nerve.

They rush out of the store, the man consoling his very agitated son, as I bring a cart, a soda and the same brand of cookies to the register, along with a ticket for a TV in the back.

Cashier: Oh you just like contradicting your husband, don’t you? And what is this? *holds up ticket for TV*
Me: What? I’m extremely single. I don’t have any husband? And that’s for a TV.
Cashier: Oh, so he won’t be helping out with this today? How can a little girl like you lift such a thing? *holds up ticket for TV*

Instead of scanning the ticket for the TV, the cashier spends a few minutes talking in the most condescending, smarmy manner she can muster about how small and weak I must be, and how a real man would help me lift a TV like that. I’m pretty vexed at this point, and while I may be super skinny, I’m also 5’7″, so instead of slouching over the cart I have for the TV, I push the cart aside, and stand up to my full height. She stops talking mid-sentence, gaping at me.

Cashier: *finally scans ticket* Um…So how will you be paying for this today?
Me: Oh, me? Pay? This? *going from serious to sarcasm in the next couple sentences* Oh, I am no longer interested in purchasing those items. They are oh sooooo very hard to lift because I’ve never ever ever lifted a single thing ever in my entire life before this! Oh dear me. Whatever shall I doooo? *wipes hand across forehead, fake coughs, and becomes serious again* I’d like to speak to your manager now!

The manager seems rather apologetic about her behaviour, saying that they’ve gotten several complaints, and even had one customer who was refused service after the cashier had scanned her item with a guy’s items, and told both of them to suck it up, when he realized that he was paying for the random person behind him. I said that while I appreciated his apology, and offer for free delivery and installation of my TV, the fact that the company seemed willing to tolerate this cashier and her antics – particularly the story he mentioned – made made my decision for me. I accepted only corporate’s phone number, opting to never shop there again.

On my way out, I saw the man come back with his son, who was sleeping in a cart. I gave him the number to corporate, and introduced him to the manager I had spoken with. The manager was short-tempered and grumpy towards the man, who returned his entire order and the cookies he was charged for, but never took out of the store.

Not So Smart-Phone, Part 10

, , , , , | Right | November 20, 2017

(We work for an office supply store which also sells technology items for phones. My coworker is helping an older woman who has questions about micro-SD cards for phones.)

Customer: “Excuse me. I need a micro-SD card for my phone; can you help me?”

Coworker: “Sure! What kind of phone do you have?”

Customer: *thinking long and hard about it* “Um… It’s one of the cheapest plans.”

Coworker: “Okay, but what kind of phone is it?”

Customer: *really straining to think about this one, then a light seems to go off* “Oh! It’s a cell phone!” *big grin on her face*

Coworker: *struggling not to laugh* “Er… Do you have the phone with you?”

Customer: *opens purse* “OH, MY GOD! WHERE’S MY PHONE?!” *leaves the store in a hurry*

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