Like Music To My Fears

, , , , | Right | June 15, 2018

(I work for a moving truck rental company. One Sunday morning, a customer who looks to be in her mid-30s walks in with pop music playing quite loudly from her phone’s speaker. She sets the phone on the counter, music still playing, before talking to me.)

Customer: “Can I get a truck?”

Me: *having heard her perfectly well* “I’m sorry; I couldn’t hear you over your music.”

Customer: *not getting the hint and just raising the volume of her voice* “I WANT A TRUCK.”

(The transaction continues as normal until the song ends and another one starts playing.)

Customer: *still yelling* I don’t even like this song!

(I stand there for a minute, expecting her to maybe turn it off or at least change the song, but she doesn’t do anything, so I continue with the transaction. I finally get to the payment portion.)

Me: “Will you be paying cash or card today?”

Customer: “What do you mean, today? I’ll pay when I come back. That’s how I always do it.”

Me: “Ma’am, it’s company policy to take money up front. We’re not able to just give trucks out on good faith and hope they’ll come back paid for!” *slight chuckle*

Customer: *still completely serious* “I want to pay cash, but I want to pay when I get back.”

Me: “We can’t do that, ma’am.”

Customer: “Fine, put it on my credit card!”

(Thankfully, the card goes through and I’m able to finish the transaction and get the customer out the door and into her truck. When I get back inside, my coworker, who was listening the entire time, starts laughing.)

Coworker: “Why didn’t you just ask her to turn her music off?”

Me: “Do you really think she would have listened?”

Coworker: *pauses for a second* “Not a chance, no.”

When In Love, There Is No “Maybe”

, , , , , | Romantic | June 13, 2018

(My 16-year-old sister and her boyfriend are sitting together before church. A young girl who is in the Sunday school class my sister teaches walks up to them. My sister is shy and very easily embarrassed.)

Girl: “Hi, [Sister]! Hey, who’s that?”

Sister: “Oh, this is [Boyfriend].”

Girl: “Oh, okay.” *pauses* “Wait, is he your boyfriend?

Sister: *blushing furiously* “Er… Yes.”

Girl: *delighted* “Are you in love with each other?”

Sister: “Uh… Um… Heh… I really don’t know how to answer that—”

(The girl reaches out and pats her on the shoulder.)

Girl: “You just say yes, or no!”

Unfiltered Story #114094

, , | Unfiltered | June 13, 2018

(My mom, dad, girlfriend and I are sitting at the dining table eating lunch or working on costumes for ComicCon when we get into a conversation about programming; specifically programming for workplaces. For clarity I love programming, and have Asperger’s. I also have lived with my parents the entire 21 years I have been alive.)

Mom: “What I don’t understand is why they would roll out the new system with all the glitches.”

Dad & Me: “I know what part of the problem is.”

(My girlfriend stops working on her costume and fully tunes into the conversation.)

Me: “It can be really hard to keep up with technology and they might have tested it and by the time it was released to all the stores it might have been out of date and/or broke.”

Dad: “And they hire people that have Asperger’s that have no sense of reality, how the world works, and what people need.”

(My mom begins to glare at him, my girlfriend looks like she is about to stab him with the X-ACTO blade in her hand; and my mouth drops open.)

Me: “Excuse you, RUDE!”

Dad: “What it’s not like you have Asperger’s.”

Me:” Actually I do, and even if I didn’t what you said is very inappropriate.”

Mom: “Really; [Dad’s Name], that is not true.”

Dad: *in his “I know it all voice”* “Actually it is; there are several research pape—”

My Girlfriend: *cuts him off* “—research papers that are out of date, based on old information, or written by hateful people.”

(My dad walks off muttering about how we are all wrong; he has said things like that before but never that bad. funny thing is I had just been working on a personal programming project all of 5 minutes before this happened, he also wonders why that made us so upset.)

Unfiltered Story #113869

, , | | Unfiltered | June 11, 2018

( I had a customer who didn’t quite seem to understand basic math)
Customer: This (salsa) should be two for five dollars! Why isn’t it ringing up for two for five dollars?!
Me: (I check the price and it has rung up as $2.50) sir, the price is correct. You are getting your salsa for $2.50.
Customer: This is false advertising! I want this at two for five dollars!!
Me: Sir, $2.50 plus $2.50 equals $5.00.
(This goes on in circles for about five minutes until my manager walks by.)
Manager: Sir, this is 2 for $5 like the deal says, even though you are only getting one, you are getting it for the deal’s price.
Customer: No! This is false advertising! I am never going to shop here again!

Unfiltered Story #113848

, | | Unfiltered | June 6, 2018

(A client has called to check status of a case. Because this particular client has a history of nonpayment, we require they prepay all services with us, but in this case their payment never showed up so their documents are on hold.)
Client: “BUT WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU HAVEN’T EVEN STARTED ON [case]?! I AM GOING TO LOSE THIS CLIENT!”
Me: “I explained to you when we discussed this service that we required prepayment and your check never arrived.”
Client: “I cannot believe this! I cannot believe you! I am going to lose this client! I’m going to be fired!”
Me: “Ma’am, if this client was so important to you then why didn’t you send the prepayment?”
Client: “Because I don’t have the money!”
Me: “And that is exactly why we can’t process your requests without payment.”

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