Can’t Help Those Who Refuse To Be Helped

, , , , | Right | September 18, 2018

(I work in the over-the-phone billing department for a cable provider. A woman calls in because her first name is spelled wrong on her bill. It usually takes a few minutes to fix, but because they passed a social security check with the misspelling, we have to ask a few questions to make sure that everything is correct and legal.)

Caller: “I did this two months ago, and it still isn’t fixed. It’s so discouraging to see how little this company cares about me.”

Me: “I’m sorry, that’s a little strange to hear it wasn’t fixed then. I care, and I will make it right.”

(I check the notes from when she previously called in. The representative who handled her said that they tried to place an order, but could not finish it because the call had dropped.)

Caller: “If this isn’t fixed, I will find another provider. It’s just lazy how little you care about your customers.”

Me: “No, I get it, I do. It’s frustrating to call in for the same thing multiple times, but this will be the last call. Now, back then, did they ask you any questions like your date of birth, or the last four digits of your social security number?”

Caller: “No, no, nothing like that. It’s just so lazy. Very, very lazy.”

Me: “I understand. I have the correct spelling put into the system now, but to get it to recognize it, I’ll need the answers to those questions. May we start with your date of birth?”

Caller: “It’s just so unprofessional. I’ll stand by my word that if this isn’t fixed by my next month’s bill, I will find a company who cares about me and isn’t lazy like you.”

Me: “And, as you should, but you have nothing to worry about. I do, however, need your date of birth to complete this.”

Caller: “I can’t believe how lazy you are.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. May I please have your date of birth?”

Caller: “So, you’ll have this all taken care of? Okay, if it’s not, I have your name and it will be your job. Bye.”

Me: “No, please do not hang up—”

(She did hang up on me. I tried reaching her at her home phone where it showed she was calling from, and her cell phone, but it was obvious she was rejecting the calls. I had to notate the account what had happened and that I tried calling her back, but in the end, no changes had been made to her account because I legally could not. I feel a little bad that I could not fix her problem like I promised, but I cannot help customers who do not allow me to.)

They’re In Hot Sauce Now

, , , , , | Working | September 17, 2018

(I’m going to grab some lunch at a fast food place. I like to have a particular kind of sauce with my meal because before my father died, he would always get the same sauces and we’d eat together. It’s a way of making me feel like he’s still with me. So, naturally, I ask for this sauce when I go to order. It’s typical that this gets mixed up with a similar sauce when I get my food. I point it out and get a quick apology for the mix-up and the right sauce. At least, that’s what normally happens.)

Me: *seeing I have honey mustard instead of hot mustard* “Excuse me. I was given the wrong sauce. I asked for hot mustard.”

Cashier: *snottily* “Well, it’s the exact same thing.”

Me: “With all due respect, it’s not. Please, may I get hot mustard, instead?”

Cashier: “We’re all out.”

(I can see where they keep the sauces, and I can tell you, it most definitely isn’t out.)

Me: “Please, one is all I need.”

Cashier: “I don’t have to give you any! You don’t need anything else!”

Me: *smiling politely* “May I speak to your manager, please?”

(She brings the manager, obviously telling him her side of the conversation, and I hear her tell him that I am cussing her out.)

Manager: “Ma’am, I heard you were verbally abusing my employee.”

Me: *shaking my head* “No, sir. I simply asked for hot mustard instead of honey mustard. I still would like that, but I wanted you aware of her actions. She spoke to me rudely, proceeded to lie to me, and then told me what I consider to be an insult.”

Manager: “I don’t believe that. She’s our best employee here and—”

(A nearby customer has been looking at the menu the entire time, so he has heard everything.)

Customer: “The girl’s right; she never said anything rude. She was polite the whole time she was getting harassed. Doesn’t matter if she’s your best employee or not. She insulted a customer, who I’m surprised is still here.”

(The manager’s eyes widened as he looked at his cashier, telling her to get me the sauce I asked for. I thanked her in as polite a tone as I could muster and went to eat. The customer then stopped by my table. Turns out he was the manager’s brother!)

Taking A Boob To The Eye

, , , , , | Right | September 14, 2018

(I work at an optical. In the state of Arizona it is required to update your contact and glasses prescription once a year. Also, it is illegal for an optical to sell or give out contacts on an expired prescription. We could lose our license and ability to operate. Sadly, this situation happens ALL THE TIME! A customer walks in quickly, pushing herself in front of everyone, and waves in my face to get my attention, which she already had.)

Customer: “HELLOOOO! Oh, my gosh, this is such an emergency! I dropped one of my contacts down the sink, and I’m about to go on a date!”

Me: “Well, that’s no good! Let me look it up in the system. What’s your name?”

Customer: *states name*

Me: “I’m so sorry, but it seems like you’re overdue for an exam and we need to update the RX before we can give you cont—”

Customer: “WHAT?! THIS IS AN EMERGENCY! GET YOUR MANAGER!”

Me: “Sure.”

(I tell my manager the situation, and he sighs and quickly walks up. The customer is turned around doing something with her button-up blouse.)

Manager: “Hello, ma’am. What—”

Customer: *whips around with her blouse unbuttoned so low that her boobs are practically falling out* “Hi! Wow! Your eyes are super pretty! Is there any way I can get one little contact? See, it’s super-duper important!” *smiles huge and bats eyelashes*

Manager: *who is happily married* “No, sorry, ma’am. It is illegal here in Arizona to dispense an expired RX.”

Customer: “WHAT?! I KNOW THAT. CAN’T YOU DO IT JUST THIS ONCE?!”

Manager: “Sorry, no, but I can schedule you—”

Customer: “F*** YOU! YOU MUST BE GAY!” *storms out*

Me: “Uh… okay?”

A Customer And Staff Stand United – Ironically

, , , , | Right | September 7, 2018

(I am flying from Phoenix to Houston. I tend to get upgrades, partly because I am a frequent flyer. I am called up to the podium as my upgrade had been cleared for the flight, and given my new boarding pass. I know the gate staff quite well, and love to talk with them. An impatient passenger approaches.)

Impatient Passenger: “I need to get on this flight, and you will upgrade me.”

Gate Agent: “May I see your boarding pass?”

Impatient Passenger: “You haven’t printed it yet.”

Gate Agent: “In order to clear security, you need it. Do you have that paper you went through the checkpoint with?”

Impatient Passenger: “I threw it out. Look my name up. You’ve got a computer.”

Gate Agent: “One second, please.”

(I step back, watching the story unfold further:)

Gate Agent: “Okay, it looks like you’ve got a seat; 27E in economy. It’s the last seat on the flight I’m afraid.”

Impatient Passenger: “Listen, a**-hole. I’m a Gold OnePass member. I demand you give me my upgrade right now. I know [Airline Owner], we have lunch together frequently, and I will call him and have you fired for not treating me right. Now god-d*** it, give me my f****** upgrade to first class.”

(I step in.)

Me: “Sir, first class isn’t just a cabin on a plane or an upgraded seat. It’s a state of mind and a level of courtesy. If you don’t like the service by the good people of [Airline], please go fly [Airline that has a recent reputation of violently removing passengers from their planes]. I’m quite sure they’d give you the level of service you surely deserve.”

Setting The Snowcone Tone

, , , , , , | Right | September 4, 2018

(At age 16, I am volunteering for the first time at a concession stand at a college football game to raise money for my church. Directly above the stand, a large sign says, “SNOW CONES $6 CASH ONLY.” Two guys in their twenties, apparently tipsy, come up to the stand.)

Me: “Welcome to [University] Stadium! How can I help you?”

Customer: “Do you have beer?”

Me: “Sorry, but we only sell snow cones.”

Customer: “What? Where can I get beer?”

Me: “No alcohol is sold in the stadium, sir.”

Customer: “You’re f****** kidding me! Since when?”

Me: “As long as I know of.”

Customer: “Are you sure? You don’t have beer?!”

Me: “Quite sure. Would you like a snow cone?”

Customer: “I guess so. How much?”

Me: “Six dollars.”

Customer: “That’s so much!” *looks through his wallet* “Can I have it for five?”

Me: “Sorry, we can’t change the prices.”

(The customer hands me a credit card.)

Me: “Sorry, but the stands on this level are cash only. However, credit cards are accepted at stands on the ground floor.”

Customer: *to his friend* “What the f***?” *they start walking away*

Me: “Sorry for the inconvenience. Enjoy the game!”

Customer: “Are you sure you don’t have beer?”

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