This Request Cuts No Ice With Me

, , , , | Right | August 7, 2018

(I am running the drive-thru, taking orders.)

Customer: “Can I get two large [iced drink]s?”

Me: “Okay, anything else for you?”

Customer: “Yes, can we get fresh ice with that?”

(I then think for a second, not sure if I just heard what I did. I then think maybe she meant something else.)

Me: “By ‘fresh ice’ do you mean extra ice?”

Customer: “No, no, just fresh ice.”

(I pause for a second, still not sure if this is happening.)

Me: “Okay, yeah… I can do that for you.”

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My Wife, My Love, My Get-Out-Of-Jail-Free Card

, , , , , , , | Romantic | November 25, 2017

(It’s our 25th wedding anniversary.)

Me: “You seem not so happy. Why? What’s on your mind, baby?”

Husband: “I just remembered this day 25 years ago. Your father told me to marry you or he would see to it that I went to jail for 25 years.”

Me: “Don’t mind him; he loves you and his grandchildren.”

Husband: “But I could have been out of jail today!”

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