Playtime Is Over(rated)

| Columbus, OH, USA | Working | October 8, 2015

(During slow days, we’re allowed to get tokens to play games in the arcade. We’ve just gotten Guitar Hero and Dance Dance Revolution, so we’ve been playing it a lot. While playing, I suddenly realize nobody is at the front counter.)

Me: “Uh, hey, is anyone at the register?”

Coworker #1: “I think [Manager] is.”

(I look over at Guitar Hero, where the manager and another coworker are playing.)

Me: “[Manager], is anyone at the counter?”

Manager: “Nope!”

Me: “…Shouldn’t there be?”

Manager: “Nah, nobody’s coming in.”

(I run back and check the front, where a man and his son are waiting. I help them, then go back over to my coworkers.)

Me: “You know… we should probably stop playing around when there’s people here.”

Manager: “There’s nothing to do anyway. Might as well hang out and play games.”

Should Just Slink On Out Of There

| Australia | Right | June 24, 2015

(I work in a games arcade located next to a movie cinema with a step escalator. In the arcade, you play games which give you tickets, which you can exchange for a prize (toys, lollies, novelty items, etc.). A woman comes in with her daughter and her daughter’s friend (12ish).)

Me: “Hi! How are you today?”

Customer: “We have 56 tickets. What can we get?”

Me: “Well, let’s round that up to 60 tickets, okay? So have a look in this section.”

Child: “I want a metal slinky.” *this is worth 60 tickets*

Me: “Okay, here you go. Have a nice day, guys!”

(They walk out without saying anything. Five minutes later they walk back in and talk to my coworker.)

Customer: “You gave us a broken slinky.” *proceeds to place a twisted pile of metal that was once a slinky on the desk*

Coworker: “Oh, no! I’m so sorry about that, guys; what happened here?”

Customer: “We received it like this! All my daughter did was take it out of the packet and bounce it up and down and it ended up like this! Get us a new one and make sure it isn’t broken.”

(My coworker goes to look at the packets, and there is no way they could get tangled within a packet and anyone familiar with logic would realise that simply springing a slinky down and back up would never twist and stretch a slinky like this one was. I took a wild stab in the dark here.)

Me: “So guys. You’re telling me that you DIDN’T try to push this slinky down the step escalators?”

Customer: “Uh… Uh… So you saw that, huh?”

Me: “No, but now you’ve admitted it, we can’t provide you with a new one for something that’s not our fault. Have a nice day!”

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Maybe It Was ‘Devil May Cry’

| OH, USA | Working | May 7, 2015

(I’m walking through the back room when i hear two managers talking to each other. I hear ‘screams like a banshee’ and suddenly look at them.)

Me: “Uhm… can I get some context on that?”

Manager #1: “Okay, so I was going through the game repair slips and saw one for [Game]. [Employee] wrote it, but had a quote from [Manager #3]. He said that the game screamed like a banshee when it turned on.”

Me: “Wait, really?!”

(I look at the repair form. It had the statement in quotes.)

Me: “So… do we call a mechanic or a priest?”

My Number One Joke

, | CT, USA | Working | March 19, 2015

(I’m stationed at the front door as a greeter, and I also answer questions about our deals and policies and such. Our bathroom is in an odd place, and a lot of people ask me where they are. Towards the middle of a nine-hour shift, I decide to have some fun with people.)

Guest #1: “Excuse me, could you tell me where your bathroom is?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but that information is confidential.”

Guest #2: “Is there a bathroom I can use?”

Me: “We do have a bathroom but you’re not allowed to use it. Everyone else can but not you, sorry.”

(Everyone I did this to was amused, and I of course always directed them to the bathroom.)

At The Height Of Rush Hour

| CT, USA | Working | January 28, 2015

(I’m working at the front doors. There are a lot of people coming in and out, and I’m directing traffic as best as I can, but it’s a Friday night so there are a lot of people. Also note that I’m 4’11” / 1.49 meters. This happens over the walkie-talkie.)

Manager #1: “We need someone at the front doors at all times!”

Manager #2: “[My Name] should be there. You probably can’t see her because she’s so small!”

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