License To Bill

| Wisconsin Dells, WI, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Extra Stupid

(I work in the arcade at luxurious resort. Resort guests can use their room key to get a game card to play the arcade games.)

Customer: “Hi, can I get three cards with $50 on each for my family? And here’s my room key; charge it to the room!”

Me: “Sure, I’ll get that for you right away!”

(I give them the cards and the family walks away excited, when five minutes later…)

Customer: “What the h*** is this!? This d*** card isn’t working; I didn’t pay all this money for a card that doesn’t work!”

(She rants for a few more minutes and then throws the card at my face. I pick it up to show it to her.)

Me: “Ma’am, this is your driver’s license, not the game card.”

Customer: *turns really red, takes the card, and walks away sheepishly*

Half-Life Is Stranger Than Fiction

| OR, USA | Bizarre, Geeks Rule

(The fun center where I work is having a big countdown celebration on New Year’s Eve, and I’m working the arcade. We serve alcohol to adult patrons. As we get closer to midnight, a man and a woman approach the counter. I game in my spare time, and the man in the pair looks exactly like Gordon Freeman from Half-Life.)

Me: “How are you folks today?”

Man: *inebriated* “Oh, look, a Speederman tattoo. Can I get that?” *he should have said Spiderman*

Woman: “Sure.”

(She gives me her tickets, and I give him the tattoo. He is ecstatic about it.)

Man: “Speederman! This is so awesome! I’m gonna put it on!” *starts stripping*

Me: “Sir!”

Woman: “What are you doing?”

Man: “Speederman!”

(She manages to convince him to put his shirt back on, and I had to turn away so they wouldn’t see me laughing. To this day, I refer to that as the New Year’s Eve when I saw Gordon Freeman stripping for Spiderman.)

Something Is Off About The Situation

| NY, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

Customer: “Can you help me with this game? It’s not working!”

Me: “Sure no problem. Glad to help!”

Customer: “I put my money in and am pushing start, and it’s not working.”

Me: “It’s not working because it’s off. The game is off, ma’am.”

Customer: “What do you mean off?”

Me: “It’s off, as in the opposite of on. That’s why the screen is all black.”

Customer: “Oh. I thought it was some black screen game.”