Unmasking Stupidity

, , , , | Right | December 4, 2020

I work at an arcade and bowling alley inside a mall. I’ve been working there for about a year and the arcade has been open for a year. Because of the health crisis, we have signs at both entrances — the one leading to the mall itself and one leading from the parking lot into the arcade — explaining our mask policy. The arcade is a private company, so we have different rules than what the state laws are regarding masks.

A customer reads a sign that explains our mask policy and walks in without one.

Customer: “I have a question.”

Me: “Yes? What is it?”

Customer: “Do I need to have a mask on to come in?”

Me: “…”

You’d think a big sign with pictures and big letters that say you need a mask would be a clue that they need a mask, especially after spending a couple of minutes reading it all.

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What The Puck?!

, , , , , , | Right | December 2, 2020

My husband and I are visiting my parents for my dad’s birthday. After lunch, we’re sitting outside in their yard and they’re telling us something that happened on their week down the shore.

Mom: “Dad and I were playing air hockey and suddenly we couldn’t find the puck. We called the worker over and she couldn’t find it, either. We looked everywhere. They even brought the manager over and they took the brand new table apart.”

Me: “So, where was it?”

Dad: “Under my paddle. I thought they were going to kill me.”

We all laughed. To that worker, thanks for being so patient and understanding.

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Whack A Memento Mori Mole

, , , | Related | November 19, 2020

My little brother is about nine or so and we go with our mom to a well-known kids’ arcade. We’re about to enter when my brother suddenly bursts into tears.

Me: “What’s the matter?”

My brother shakes his head and cries harder.

Mom: “What’d you do to him?”

Me: “Nothing! He just burst out crying for no reason!”

Finally, he composes himself enough to blubber out.

Brother: “I just realized that we’re all gonna die someday! It’s so sad!”

He cried and cried.

We had to haul him in the arcade sobbing his little heart out. Twenty years later, he still is upset about the concept of death. I remember the first time I cried about my mortality — I was six — but not when I was going to the arcade!

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It’s All Fun And Games… Sort Of

, , , , | Working | July 3, 2020

I work at a virtual reality arcade that is inside a large museum. The arcade is fairly new so the museum has issued free vouchers to play the games for all the volunteers. The volunteer coordinator comes in to tell us that the volunteers must play a specific game, the favorite of one of the bigwigs.

There are immediately many problems with this. For one, the game in question is very buggy and sometimes just refuses to work unless we reboot the whole computer. Another issue is that it is all about balancing on a plank over a great height and requires pretty good balance, and most of the volunteers are elderly. The worst is that it is classified as a horror game meant to cause extreme acrophobia and is not one we recommend to new users. The coordinator, however, will not hear this, and insists they play the game anyway.

What we get is a few folks with canes and walkers that nearly have a serious fall, a woman in a wheelchair who cannot play the game at all, a majority of the volunteers complaining that it gives them a headache, and one old man so terrified he cries. 

The kicker is that one of my coworkers had her lunch in the volunteer lounge and the volunteers were complaining about us for making us play the horrible game.

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I’m A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here

, , , , , , , , , | Right | May 24, 2020

I was working as a cashier in a recreation room for kids, the ones with ball pools, jungle gyms, etc., where kids can have some fun while the parents watch over them or leave them there under supervision.

It was a summer job, and I was a junior. I dealt with so many entitled parents who were rude, but one woman stands out.

She was a high-profile celebrity.

There was a really long line and she was in the far back. I was alone on the register — my supervisor left to buy cleaning supplies — and I managed it pretty well, and I made sure to stay polite and helpful. While I was helping a customer out with a coupon she had trouble finding on her phone, said celebrity just passed the whole line with her kids and asked if I could let her kids in and she would pay me when it was her turn.

I told her no, that it was against my orders; I couldn’t let anyone in if their parents hadn’t paid. 

She countered by saying how dare I suggest she might run away and leave her kids without paying, and I said that some people did it, so I was ordered not to let anyone in before they pay. 

She asked it a few more times, and each time I tried to explain it as nice as I could. I told her she was holding back the line and that I needed to resume my job, because the lady with the coupon was trying to pay.

She took out her wallet and handed me a huge bill. “Keep the change, but get my kids in, now.” 

Never thought she could be that entitled. It was the last straw, but I didn’t snap. I calmly said that if she thought she could cut the line and bribe me, she was wrong. As she was staring at me, dumbfounded, I asked her to go to the end of the line and wait for her turn. 

She stayed there for a few minutes in silence before leaving. The lady with the coupon came back as soon as [Celebrity] left and told me she was really impressed and asked for my name. I pointed at my tag, and she smiled and left.

My supervisor came back, said I did good, and told me to take a break. As soon as he got there, [Celebrity] dashed to the front of the line again, asking if he was the manager. He said yes, and she asked to report me. She told him the story, while lying and saying I was rude and that I refused to let her in when it was her turn.

I turned purple. [Supervisor] looked at me and said it didn’t suit me. The guy next in line said that I was nothing but polite to every single customer, and that I was really helpful and efficient. 

[Celebrity] blushed, mumbled, and went back to the end of line. I proceeded to take my break right outside and watched. 

[Celebrity]’s turn finally arrived. She asked for three kids, and [Supervisor] asked for their age. One of them was at the age we don’t allow inside — older than ten, younger than sixteen. They just do a lot of damage and we need an ID for someone to count as adult supervision. So, she was told she couldn’t bring him in.

She yelled that she had waited all this time just to learn this, and so came my moment to shine. I got up and pointed at a sign that said the exact thing, big, red, and eye-catching.

She paid for two kids and left with the other.

[Coupon Lady] called to praise me, and I got a promotion to shift manager.

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