Bird Brained, Part 10
(I’m standing looking at the penguin exhibit when I overhear this from the woman beside me.)
Woman: “Look how beautiful they are! They look almost like birds!”
This story is included in our Aquarium roundup!
The Birds And The Bees And The Fish
(An adult calls our aquarium with a question.)
Caller: “Do red devils have babies?”
(Red devils are a type of cichlid.)
Me: *thinking this is a prank* “Yes, they do.”
Caller: “How does that happen?”
Me: “Well, when a boy fish and a girl fish love each other very much…”
Caller: “No, no, I get that, but I had a male and it was fine, but when I put a female in the tank with it, after a while there were all these tiny red fish in there.”
Me: “Yes?”
Caller: *sounding confused* “So are they…?”
Me: “Yes.”
Caller: *frustrated* “But how does that happen?!”
Me: “What exactly are you asking me?”
Caller: “I’m asking you if my fish can have babies!”
Me: “Yes. Yes, they can.”
This story is included in our Aquarium roundup!
A Vast Ocean Of Ignorance
(I’m an aquarium employee. As I’m standing in the coral reef tunnel, a few high school age kids walk up near me, looking up at the fish.)
Me: “Good afternoon, guys! Enjoying the aquarium?”
Teen #1: “Yeah…” *to his friends, pointing at the tank* “Hey, check out the puffer fish!”
Teen #2: “Oh, cool!” *to me* “Does it ever puff up?”
Me: “It’s pretty used to people, and there are no predators in there, so it wouldn’t puff itself up unless maybe a diver were to startle or threaten it in the tank.”
Teen #1: “Can you startle it and make it puff up for us?”
Me: *wondering how or why I would even do that* “No…”
Teen #2: *suddenly forgetting the puffer and pointing instead at the cownose stingrays in the tank* “Hey! Isn’t that what killed Davy Crockett?”
Teen #1, Teen #3, & Me: “What?!”
Teen #2: “Isn’t that what killed Davy Crockett?”
Me: “Uh… no. I’m pretty certain he died at the Alamo in the 19th century…” *thinks for a bit* “Did you mean Steve Irwin?”
Teen #2: “Yeah! Same thing.”
Me: “Not really…”
This story is included in our Aquarium roundup!
Can’t Put Her Finger On The Problem
(I work at the touch tank at a local aquarium. We invite guests to dip their fingers in and stroke the aquatic life as they swim past, provided they don’t put in more than two fingers at a time so as not to overwhelm the animals.)
Me: “And over here we have lake sturgeon and blue gill, both native to our own Lake Michigan!”
Guest: “What are these?” *points to starfish tank*
Me: “Those are red knobbed starfish, ma’am. They’re native to the Indian Ocean.”
Guest: “And I can touch them?”
Me: “Absolutely! We only ask that you use two fingers at a time.”
(The guest nods and proceeds to stick her thumb and forefinger into the tank, pull the starfish out, shake the water off it, and place it in her purse.)
Me: “Ma’am! Taking the marine life out of the tank is very dangerous! Please! I’m going to have to ask that you put it back!”
Guest: “But I wanted to take it home.”
Me: “I’m sorry, but that’s a living creature you have there. We can’t just let people reach in and take out our animals!”
Guest: “I only used two fingers!”
This story is included in our Aquarium roundup!
Proposition 8 Makes No Sense At 9
(My sister and her family live several states away so we don’t get to see them much. During a visit, my parents take my nephews, who are 9 and 8 years old, to the aquarium. My dad and the youngest go to use the restroom leaving my mom and the 9 year old to chat.)
Mom: “So, do you do stuff like this with your other grandparents?”
Nephew: “No, the only place they really bring us is church… but I don’t really like the pastor there.”
Mom: “Oh, why not?”
Nephew: “Well he’s against gays… and Uncle Brad is gay… and I’m for Uncle Brad.”
(When I was told about this conversation later the evening I gave my nephew a big hug for standing up for his Uncle Brad.)