When I was about three, my aunt and her then-boyfriend had just started dating. He was a notorious litterer and was always dropping garbage everywhere. My aunt would get onto him about it, but he wouldn’t stop.

One day, they took me to a local aquarium which I went to a lot, to give my parents a break.

This aquarium had what we called the Trash Tank in the lobby — basically a bunch of tires, plastic, and assorted garbage in an empty tank that simulated a river to tell people not to throw trash in the local river.

For some reason, tiny me was obsessed with this tank, and I would always spend as long as I could, playing I Spy, looking for weird things, etc.

When we passed the tank, I ran to it and began pointing out things in it and talking about not “being a litterbug” and always throwing your trash away. My aunt’s boyfriend was looking around awkwardly.

My aunt later told me that my now-uncle suddenly stopped littering after that day. I wonder why…

(I’m on vacation in Scotland, visiting an aquarium. We’re getting some info on lobsters and crabs from an employee. I’m deathly afraid of spiders.)

Employee: “Here we have the king crab. Let me get one out of its tank.”

(He takes a huge crab out of the tank, and I jump back a few feet in horror; the thing looks just like a giant spider to me.)

Employee: *still holding the crab* “Er… Something I said?”

Me: *slightly panting* “No, it’s just… eh… Can you put that thing back?”

Employee: “Oh… okaaay…”

(He puts it back.)

Me: “I’m so sorry, but I’m deathly afraid of spiders, and apparently, that fear includes everything with too many protrusions.”

Employee: “Oh, I see. Hmm.. never heard of arachnophobia that includes fear of crabs. That’s a new one!”

(Later on, I hesitantly approach the tank to take a closer look. I come to the conclusion that when it’s underwater it isn’t so bad.)

Employee: “I thought you were afraid of it?”

Me: “It’s okay when it’s just sitting still, I guess.”

Employee: “You want me to take it out again?”

Me: “DON’T YOU DARE!”

(I’m an educator at my aquarium, and I work the touch pools very frequently.)

Me: “Welcome to our tide pools! You’re welcome to reach in and touch any of the animals in these two—“

Customer: “Is this the sushi exhibit?”

Me: *clearly not amused* “No.”

Customer: *points at a skunk shrimp* “Is that a crawdad?”

Me: “He’s a skunk shrimp; he helps other animals by cleaning any—“

Customer: “Does he taste good?”

(I just glared at him until he got uncomfortable and walked away.)

(A coworker and I are in Houston, Texas for a training course. He’s from Scotland; I’m from England. As we have weekends off, we decide to drive down to Galveston and have a look round. After a short drive round, we spot the aquarium and decide to pay it a visit. It is very quiet, so there is only one member of staff on the ticket desk.)

Ticket Lady: “Welcome to the aquarium. How are y’all doing today?”

Me: “Fine, thanks. One adult, please.”

Ticket Lady: “No problem. Just for our records, where are you from?”

Me: “England.”

(She thanks me and gives me my ticket after I pay.)

Coworker: “An adult ticket for me, as well, please.”

Ticket Lady: “Okay, and where are you from?”

Coworker: “Scotland.”

Ticket Lady: “Oh, that’s the same thing.”

Coworker: “Really? What part of Canada are you from?”

This story is part of our Scotland themed roundup!

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(I’m working at an aquarium. Today I’m in charge of doing a feeding show with the penguins. As little kids in the audience go, “Eww,” or, “Aww!” a full-grown lady walks up.)

Lady: “AAAH!” *covers children’s eyes, and then turns to me, through the tank* “How can you let kids watch this?! Dead animals being given to these cute creatures! Disgusting!”

(She stalks off, and I continue the show. Just a week later, I get a notification from management telling me I have to show up in court for this lady who’s suing us.)

Lady: *in court* “They were corrupting our children, letting them see these dead animals being fed to the animals they thought were these cute, fluffy creatures!”

Me: “Ma’am, with all due respect, the penguins need the fish to survive. The children aren’t ‘corrupted’ by it because they eat fish, beef, and chicken themselves! Are you expecting us to have to feed them at ten pm when we close and they’re about to go to sleep?”

(This went in a circle for a while, but she ended up losing!)