Not Feline Your Sense Of Humor

, , , , , , | Working | June 12, 2018

(My husband and I have a guy in the house repairing our air conditioner. We also have a cat who is deaf, has little vision, and is probably a little senile at over 20 years old. According to the vet he’s arthritic — treated with daily meds — but happy. He spends his days toddling around the house after us and purring in sunbeams. As the repairman is finishing up, after I’ve paid and he’s talking about what to keep an eye out for, the cat wanders by the room. After observing how slowly he moves, the repairman asks me if he’s sick.)

Me: “Nah, just really old and arthritic.”

Repairman: “Oh, you know, my dad had a home remedy for that.”

Me: “Oh, yeah?”

Repairman: “Yeah.”

(He laughed and made a gun out of his hand and pointed it at my cat, making a shooting sound. He did not seem to get why I didn’t find that funny and told him to get the f*** out of my house.)

Very Bad Reception, Part 12

| Portland, OR, USA | Working | January 4, 2015

(Our dishwasher is having issues, so we call our landlord to have it looked at. The repair place calls my husband’s cell phone instead of mine. He can’t answer at work and I have to call back the next day. As usual, my call back means dealing with their ridiculous receptionist.)

Repair Place: “Hello, this [Business]. [Name] speaking.”

Me: “Hi, this is [My Name] from [Address] calling to schedule a time to have my dishwasher looked at.”

Repair Place: “How does Thursday look?”

Me: “Thursday is fine as long as it’s before 3:45.”

Repair Place: *indignantly* “What?! That’s far too late! We do deliveries in the afternoon!”

Me: “That would work out fine because I can’t be here late in the afternoon.”

Repair Place: “Is it that you both work? Is that the problem?”

Me: *I am so confused* “No, I’m a stay-at-home mom but I have an appointment at 4 pm so they have to be here earlier in the day. I have to leave the house by 3:45.”

Repair Place: “Okay, so they’ll come out Thursday morning. We call before we show up so you’ll have to answer the phone. We won’t come if you don’t answer the phone. You have to answer the phone this time! If we leave a message we won’t come out.”

Me: “Then you need to take down my phone number because you’ll need to call me on Thursday. You called my husband yesterday and he’s in Anchorage right now.”

Repair Place: *sounding hysterical* “What do you mean you’re in Anchorage?! You can’t call and schedule an appointment when you won’t even be there! You have to be there. Why are you even calling if you’re in Anchorage?!”

Me: “I’m not in Anchorage; my husband is. That’s why you need MY phone number.”

Repair Place: “You’re in Anchorage? How are we going to look at your dishwasher?!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m NOT in Anchorage. I will be here on Thursday. But you need my phone number.”

Repair Place: “We have it. It’s the [area code] number.”

Me: “No, you don’t have it. You have my husband’s number. Mine is [my number].”

Repair Place: *sounding confused* “That’s a different number than what we have.”

Me: “Yes, so you’ll need to take my number and make sure they call ME on Thursday because the other number won’t be answered.”

Repair Place: “You really should just have a landline and one number.”

(She finally took down my number but who knows if they’ll call me or my husband on Thursday. What’s worse is that every… single… time… we deal with them, that’s how it goes. Their receptionist really is an airhead!)