It’s Not A Resident Problem

, , , , , | Healthy | September 24, 2018

(Our nursing home has a group of volunteers that often help the nurses during meals and do most of the activities with the residents. This sometimes causes visitors to try to get the volunteers to do things they aren’t allowed to, or things even nurses aren’t allowed to do, such as giving medication at inappropriate times or giving extra medication when residents go on holidays with the family. I exit the elevator and hear an argument.)

Visitor: “I don’t see what the problem is. I want to take my mother to [Local Restaurant], but I need her medication. Now go get them.”

Volunteer: “Ma’am, I’d love to, but I can’t. I don’t know which medication your mother needs nor the exact dosage; you’ll have to speak to a nurse about that.”

Visitor: “You are a nurse. You work here. Stop being lazy and go get my mother’s pills!”

Volunteer: *notices me and points at me* “I’m not a nurse, but [My Name] is. If you ask her, she can check which medication your mother needs and give it to you.”

Visitor: “If you’re not a nurse then why are you in my mother’s room?”

Volunteer: “I was picking her up to go to the dining room; neither of us were aware you were going to come and pick her up. Since [My Name] is here, she can help you with the medication. I’ll go and take other residents to the dining room.”

(At this point the resident opens her door.)

Visitor: “You stop right there. I demand you do your job and get me those pills, and then go get your manager or whatever so I can complain about you!”

(Before anyone can say or do a thing, the mother speaks up:)

Resident: “G**d*** it, can you not embarrass me for once? First off, I don’t need medication during lunch! Second of all, we agreed to go out for lunch tomorrow. And third of all, if you don’t apologize to [Volunteer] right now, I’ll go out for lunch with her instead of you!”

(The visitor just mumbles and checks her phone, then runs away after yelling, “I’m sorry.”)

Resident: *to the volunteer* “You’re free tomorrow?”

Volunteer: “I am.”

Resident: “Good. If you want, pick me up at 11:00 and we’ll go to [Local Restaurant].”

A Nice Dungeon Wedding

, , , , , | Friendly | July 22, 2018

(The cafe I work at has a group of regulars who play Dungeons & Dragons at a corner table in the weekend. It’s generally funny to listen in on the game when it’s quiet.)

Dungeon Master: “The thugs attack you. Congratulations; it’s a bar fight. Initiative, please.”

Girl Playing Wizard: “I will hide under the table and plug my fingers into my ears.”

(The rest of the players give her this slightly amused look.)

Girl Playing Wizard: “My character is a bookworm and a coward. Deal with it.”

(Every time she routinely hides during combat — in a wardrobe or a bush, polymorphing into a tree or turning invisible and stomping her feet in place to simulate running away — the group loves it. Later on in the campaign:)

Dungeon Master: *sighs heavily* “The innkeeper’s daughter, charmed and fascinated by your stories, is now in love with you.”

Guy Playing Bard: “Nice!”

Dungeon Master: “She’s sixteen. Her father calls the town guard.”

Guy Playing Bard: “Wait… Oh… What?”

(Cue a twenty-minute discussion about whether the age of consent applies in a largely medieval fantasy setting, before putting it up to vote with us and the patrons listening in. The bard is sent to jail with all votes — jokingly — against him. The adventure moves to breaking the bard out of jail.)

Dungeon Master: “The cell door is locked.”

Girl Playing Rogue: “I try to pick the lock.” *fails*

Girl Playing Wizard: “I think I have a spell for–”

Guy Playing Fighter: “I stuff my stick of dynamite in the lock to blow it open.”

(Total table silence.)

Guy Playing Fighter: “Hey, if it works!”

(Much later in the campaign:)

Girl Playing Wizard: “I cast…. uh… Charm Person on the warlord?”

Dungeon Master: “He throws his axe down and grasps your hand, proposing to you on the spot.”

Girl Playing Wizard: “I try to politely reject him!”

Dungeon Master: “He’s charmed by you, and his behavior hasn’t changed. He grapples you…” *rolls dice* “…and carries you off. That ends today’s session; we’ll pick up next week for the wedding.”

Not An Employee, But Employees Wish They Could Do That

, , , , | Right | July 18, 2018

(I’m an employee in a supermarket. One of our regulars is an autistic young man who is tall, wide, and built like a wrestler. He also has some unique social quirks, the main one being his mood; he’s either very social, friendly, helpful, and attentive, or just in a plain bad mood. He also has the habit of dressing in shirts from various animes, and a red vest which has a darker shade of red than the employee shirts; this causes some customers to confuse him for an employee, despite his vest lacking the store logo. Here’s one of the situations we had with him. He’s choosing fruit to buy, and he’s having a bad mood day.)

Customer: “Excuse me. These apples look rotten.”

Regular: “Not an employee.”

Customer: “What do you mean? You’re wearing a red shirt; go get me fresh apples!”

(He finishes choosing his fruits and walks over to the next aisle. The lady follows him and starts to get angry, so I head over.)

Customer: “Hey, don’t ignore me! Do your work!”

Me: “Ma’am, he’s not an employee. I’ll help you with your apples. Now, please stop shouting and don’t make him angry.”

Customer: “I don’t care! He should be polite to customers!”

(She gets fed up and swings her purse at him, which he catches and yanks from her hands before flinging it over the wall into another aisle. He turns to the lady, red-faced, eyes narrowed, and breathing heavily.)

Regular: “NOT. AN. EMPLOYEE!”

(He calmed down pretty much instantly and continued his shopping. The next time I saw him, he was in his good mood, and he came right over to me and apologized for five minutes about causing a scene.)

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The Adventures Of Man-Bear

, , , , | Right | July 6, 2018

(I work a volunteer job at a retirement home. The people living here usually aren’t problematic, but visitors can be. I am helping the cafeteria with another volunteer, a quiet bear-type who looks like he’s only there to find his WWE membership card. It’s busy and every table is packed; I’m running around trying to get residents seated on tables that only have one or two other residents. I see a table coming free, so I go to the entrance where an elderly couple is making their way over to said table, to guide them there. Two guys who are obviously not visiting anyone take the table. This happens often, as our prices are way lower than a cafe, so people take advantage.)

Me: “Sir, could you please leave the table? We give residents priority.”

Customer #1: “No, they should have been faster.”

Me: “Sir, these people are well over 80 and 90 years old, respectively. I’m asking you to leave the table.”

Customer #2: “Well, we were here earlier; go dump them somewhere else and bring us two coffees.”

(I’m too shocked to form a reply, but then I hear chairs scraping and see my man-bear coworker helping the couple to take a seat.)

Customer #2: “Hey, what the h*** are you doing? We were here first; get them out of here and get us our coffee!”

(My coworker walks over to the pair, and places his hands on the back of their necks.)

Coworker: “You two are not here to visit residents, are too cheap to go to a café, and are very rude to my coworker and our residents. She asked you to leave, and now I’m telling you: leave, or I’ll make you.”

Customer #1: “Go ahead and try; I’ll call your manager and have you fired.”

Coworker: *begins lifting both men from their seats* “Well, too bad I value our residents over a volunteer job.”

(He drags them to the exit where he drops them — literally. The two get back up, but by now a couple of nurses, volunteers, and half our visitors are up and looking at them.)

Customer #2: “I’m going to call the cops on you guys! I’ll have this whole place closed down!”

(My coworker went back to the counter, took off his jacket, and asked me what the couple ordered. Then, he paid for their order and made me a coffee to get over the experience. He was later called in by the director, lightly scolded for getting physical, then commended for protecting the residents. He’s still working with us, and he’s really cool.)

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Unfiltered Story #106344

, | Unfiltered | February 25, 2018

I work in a supermarket, mostly as a cashier but sometime i help stocking shelves, my coworkers and I have had several run ins with a very rude customer, he’s offensive, condedscending and agressive if he encounters any resistance, our manager refuses to ban the guy because they live in the same building, and he’s afraid of being attacked, so the guy is free to come in and bully us, and customers, quoting “i’m stronger than you what are you going to do about it”

After not showing up for two weeks he limps back into the store with a swollen face, black eye, broken swollen nose, swollen jaw and a broken front tooth, a few fingers on his right hand are broken, he looks like he had his ass kicked and none in the store wheree sad to see it, after getring his purchases he limps up to my counter.

Rude guy: *sees me staring* “don’t you fucking laugh!” *clutches his jaw which cleary hurts*

Me: “of course sir, did you find everything you need?” *biting my tongue so i dont ask him if he found painkillers*

Rude guy: “yeah just ring me the fuck up”

After ringing him through another regulair watches him leave with a smile

Regulair: “looks like he found someone stronger than him, what do you think he’ll do about that?”

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