Unfiltered Story #106922

, , | Unfiltered | March 7, 2018

(My mother and I have gone out to get some pet food for our animals before a big winter storm. I have two cats whom I love very much, one of whom I have had since I was a small child, and she has a lovable chocolate lab. I am a cat person and she is a dog person. We are at the counter and a woman wearing a shirt with every inch covered in cat faces is checking us out.)

Cat Lady- Alright, that’ll be (price). Would you like to donate a bag of cat food to the local animal shelter?

Mom- Eh, I don’t know…. Can’t the cats just eat mice?

(The woman and I share a look.)

Me- Are you effing kidding me?

Cat Lady- I will lock you in a room and make you watch Humane Society videos if that’s what it takes to get you to give those poor babies some food.

Mom- Well…. I’m more of a dog person….

Me- I’m going to disown myself. Get the cats some food.

(Another employee, a man wearing a shirt with dog faces, chimes in.)

Dog Dude- In my opinion, cats can go f**k themselves. See this here? (he rolls up his sleeve to show a large scar that was obviously caused by a knife or something of the like) This here is from my mam’s cat, Mr. Bubbles. He tried to kill me. But even if I hate cats, I’ll give them some food because if I don’t, I’m a horrible person. Are you a horrible person, ma’am?

Me: I think so.

(My mom starts laughing and gives them their ten dollars for the cat food. The cat lady hands her a slip for the wall to write her name on and mom looks at me.)

Mom: I’m writing (my name) the Cat Lady on this no matter if you want me to or not.

Unfiltered Story #98102

, , , | Unfiltered | October 17, 2017

(I’m sitting at the front desk like usual, when my coworker comes up. Note that we’re both female. I’m from the US originally and she’s not.)

Me: “Hey [Coworker].”

Coworker: “Hey, do you have a rubber?”

Me: *eyes bug out* “Umm, no? I don’t keep condoms at my desk?”

Coworker: “WHAT?! NO! NOT WHAT I MEANT! A rubber band! A rubber band!”

Both: *dissolve into laughter like children*