Donating To The Problem

| USA | Bad Behavior, Pets & Animals

(A guy walks into the shelter with a closed cardboard box.)

Guy: “I have a donation to make to your shelter.”

Me: “Sure. What kind of donation do you have? Toys, food, or beds?”

Guy: “It’s a bunch of puppies.”

Me: “Sir, that’s not a donation. That’s the reason we need donations.”

Some Returns Make You Have Kittens

| USA | Bad Behavior, Pets & Animals, Theme Of The Month

Lady: “We’re here to give back this cat we got from you about a year ago.”

Me: “Okay. I’m sorry for that. Can I ask why are you returning him? Are you having any problems with him?”

Lady: “No, we just decided we like kittens but we don’t really like cats. Could we exchange him for another kitten?”

Me: “You do understand that every kitten will grow into a cat? What will you do when the next kitten grows up?”

Lady: “Can’t I just exchange it again?”

Got A Bad Feline About This One

| USA | Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals

(I do volunteer work at an animal shelter. A lady calls and inquires about a particular cat that she saw on our website. She agrees to come down to the shelter to meet the cat. I bring the cat out as she arrives.)

Me: “This is [Cat]. She is a bit shy.”

Lady: “Well, hello there!” *pets cat’s head hard*

Cat: *backs away*

Me: “She prefers to be petted on her back, not the head.”

Lady: “Oh, okay.” *keeps petting cat’s head*

Cat: *hisses and spits*

Me: *thinking she misunderstood* “No, no. Like this.” *pets cat’s back*

Cat: *purrs*

Lady: “Oh, okay.” *pets cat’s head*

Cat: *runs away*

Me: “You know, maybe this isn’t the pet for you…”