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It Doesn’t Go Up The Way You Think It Does

| Right | November 12, 2011

(I work at an amusement park in Southern California. A customer comes up to me while I am cleaning a shop.)

Customer: “Where can I find a [cartoon character] blow-up doll?”

Me: “Excuse me, sir?”

Customer: “Blow-up doll. I need a [cartoon character] blow-up doll!”

Me: “I um, we don’t sell those kinds of items–”

Customer: “You know, you put air in and it goes up!”

Me: “A balloon?”

Customer: “A blow-up doll, yes! Where?!”

Mall Brats

, , , | Right | October 26, 2010

(My theatre group does a play at an amusement park. We often walk around the park in costume to tell visitors about the play. Note that the play was about two “bad guys” who wanted to cut all the trees to build a large shopping mall in the forest.)

Me: “Did you see those two guys? They want to build a mall here. I don’t know what that is, but it sounds bad!”

Little Girl: “You really don’t know what a mall is?”

Me: “No, I just live here in the forest.”

Little Girl: *with piercing eyes* “Really. I mean in real life.”

Me: “I really live here!”

Little Girl: “No, I mean when you’re in your normal clothes.”

Me: *giving up* “Okay, in real life I know what a mall is.”

Little Girl: *looks satisfied* “I knew it!”


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Natural Born Politician

, , , , , | Learning Right | July 19, 2008

(I overheard this from a school group at a theme park.)

Student: “God, these stupid lines are so long!”

Teacher: “If you don’t have anything positive to say, don’t say anything at all.”

Student: “I mean… these great lines are just long enough that we miss everything!”


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