(We’re discussing possible activities for our annual team outing. We discussed the possibility of going to an escape room some days prior.)
Coworker: “Before it comes up again, I’m not going to one of those dark rooms! I’m not going, if that’s what we’re doing!”
Me: “[Coworker], I can promise you we will not be going to a dark room for our team outing. I’ll explain the difference between an escape room and a dark room later. On second thought… Maybe not.”
(I answer the phone.)
Me: *in Dutch* “[Institute]. How may I help you?”
Caller: “Do you speak any Dutch?”
Me: *in Dutch* “Yes, ma’am, I do. You have reached [Institute]. How may I help you?”
Caller: “So, you speak some Dutch?”
Me: “Yes, ma’am, I am certified near-native, and I do translation work here at the institute. How may I help you?”
Caller: “Oh… kay, I guess. Well, I’m doing a huge dissertation; I mean a really big one.”
Me: “All right…”
Caller: “It’s about the war.”
Me: “All right…”
Caller: “So, my professor said that your library has a lot about the subject it’s on.”
Me: “That is very likely. You may come during [opening hours] and sign in to access the library.”
Caller: “I want to make an appointment.”
Me: “The library doesn’t work with appointments. You can just come sign in and go right in.”
Caller: “But I want an appointment.”
Me: “I’m sorry. The library doesn’t work with appointments, but you can simply come use it, and the archive. For free.”
Caller: “But I’ve never been there before!”
Me: “All right.”
Caller: *whining* “How will I know what to do?“
Me: “There is always someone at the information desk in the library to help visitors navigate the books and archives.”
Caller: “And he will have the time to just work with me until I’m done?”
Me: “Well, no, we cannot provide step-by-step continual personal guidance for each and every visitor, but he will explain how the system works, and how to access the material and request documents, and he will be right there if you have any questions.”
Caller: “But you just said he’ll be there to help me.”
Me: “Yes. He is there to help all of the visitors to the library and archives.”
Caller: “But I need someone to help me! You said he’s there to help me.”
Me: “He is there to help you. He is there to help everyone.”
Caller: *whining* “But what if I can’t find something?”
Me: “Then you go to him.”
Caller: “So, basically everything is incredibly easy to find?”
Me: “Well, you need to use the system, which he will explain in detail when you come in.”
Caller: “I still think I should just make an appointment.”
Me: “The library does not work with appointments, and we do not have anyone on staff who can stop their important research work to spend several hours in the library with each visitor. Please believe me: the system is simple, and there is always someone there to help you.”
Caller: *outright sulking* “Well, I GUESS.” *big sigh* “FINE. I will come use the library. But I still think I should be able to make an appointment so someone can actually help me.” *click*
(I am the customer in this story. My husband booked a car online in his name, but we couldn’t find his credit card, so we used mine. Then, once we booked, we realised the credit card was meant to be in his name. We didn’t want any trouble when we collect the car, so we called the next day. This is an abbreviation of two days and over two hours of phone calls. Call #1:)
Me: “Hi. My husband made a booking last night for a car, but his credit card wasn’t working, so we used mine. I noticed the terms and conditions say the credit card has to be in the driver’s name. What can we do about it?”
Rep #1: “Ah, okay. Well, the driver must be the cardholder.”
Me: “I understand that. But we have made a booking, and my card has been charged. Maybe we can change the credit card number on file? Or add another one?”
Rep #1: “No. It is not possible to change the credit card on the booking once the credit card has been charged. In this case, we would need to cancel the booking, issue a refund, and redo the booking.”
Me: “Will that cost anything?”
Rep #1: “No, no, that is fine. It will not cost anything. But it’s a public holiday here in Germany, so that department is closed. You need to call back tomorrow.”
Me: “Okay, I’ll do that.”
(Call #2:)
Me: “Hi. I’m calling because my the credit card on file for my booking is not the main driver’s, and I was told to call back today to rectify this.”
Rep #2: “Yes, that is true; we need the credit card holder to be the main driver of the vehicle.”
Me: “Yes, I understand that, but I don’t want to be the driver; my husband is. That’s why I’m calling: to change the booking.”
Rep #2: “And you will not be there at the time to collect the car?”
Me: “Yes, I’ll be there, so will my husband, and so will both our credit cards.”
Rep #2: “Ah, okay, that is fine, then. Yes, you will be able to change to use his credit card when they print out the rental contract.”
Me: “Really? Even though it’s already been paid for?”
Rep #2: “Yes, that is correct.”
Me: “Great! Can you email me that, so I have proof when I go to the counter?”
Rep #2: “No, I don’t have an email here, but I will contact the German office to send you that in an email.”
Me: “Great. Thanks!”
(Six hours later, no email. I call again. Call #3:)
Me: “Hi, I just spoke to someone.” *explains the situation* “I never received the email. Can you confirm?”
Rep #3: “Well, I don’t know why she said that, but that is not the case. The main driver must be the credit card holder.”
Me: “Yes, I know that. That’s what I’m trying to fix. I was told that I could change the credit card at the counter.”
Rep #3: “No, that is not the case. Unfortunately, there is nothing I can do. You will need to email customer service; they can help you.”
(I email customer service asking if they can confirm that I will be able to change the credit card upon arrival. They respond, “The driver must be the credit card holder. You can add an additional driver for €60.” Call #4:)
Me: “Hi.” *explains situation* “It is pre-booked and already paid for on my card. So, I would like to know what can we do about this.”
Rep #4: “That is fine. Yes, you can indeed change the credit card when you pick up the car.”
Me: “Really? Even though it’s already been charged? Because I’ve heard different things from different people. Can you email that to me so I have confirmation?”
Rep #4: “Let me check with my team leader.”
(I’m on hold for a while, then…)
Rep #4: “Unfortunately, actually, because the credit card has already been charged, we cannot change it. But we can change the driver to your name for €20. Otherwise, you can email customer service, and maybe they can help you.”
Me: “What?! But you just said I could! I don’t want to be the driver. Also, I shouldn’t be charged for being the driver, as that isn’t changing anything. I am the cardholder, so I am the main driver. And I was told I could cancel it for free. Okay, I will email customer service, but can you please get me the recording of my earlier call? I was told that it would be recorded, so I would like access to that, please.”
Rep #4: “Let me check.”
(After being on hold again…)
Rep #4: “I spoke to my team leader, and we cannot change the credit card number on file, as it has already been charged.”
Me: “That’s not what I asked for! I asked for the recording. It is illegal for an EU company to fail to hand over data about a customer if they request it.”
Rep #4: “No. The question is not whether this is illegal, but whether we can change the credit card for you, and we cannot do that. Please email customer service.”
Me: “This is illegal. I am requesting information, and you are refusing to hand it over. Please put me on to your supervisor.”
(More holding, then…)
Rep #5: “Hi. I understand you want to change your credit card details, but unfortunately we cannot change it, as it has been pre-booked. You agreed to the terms and conditions when you booked, so there’s nothing we can do.”
Me: “No! That is not what I asked. I am requesting information that you hold about me, and you are refusing. Agreeing to the terms and conditions did not waive my rights. If you cannot hand over the call records, I will have to take legal action.”
Rep #5: “If you want the records, you can email customer service.”
Me: “Okay, I’ll do that. But if they don’t come through, I will take legal action. All I want is to remake the booking with a different credit card, which I was told I could do!”
Rep #5: “Oh, I understand! Actually, as a gesture of goodwill, I can cancel the booking and remake it without charging you anything. And for your trouble, I can reduce the price a bit, as well.”
(I think they realised they were in trouble when I knew the EU data privacy laws!)
(I am hired to do some catering work in a congress centre. Today, it’s training day for all the new temps. Lots of new workers are waiting, in uniform, to be taken to the hall for the training. A coworker and I notice a man in a manager’s uniform, walking around with a moody face, slouched appearance, and messy clothing.)
Coworker #1: *quietly, to me* “Either that gentleman had to start really early, or he had a bad night’s sleep.”
(Finally, we get a message that someone will take us to the hall. The name could be male or female, so I assume they mean the young lady opening the door for us. We go into the meeting hall and get seated. Then, the first person to talk to us is the sloppy, moody man. He talks in a very unenthusiastic way.)
Grouch: “Hi, my name is [Name]. I’m a floor manager, and I have been working here for 25 years already. Now, you’ve got your uniforms. [Congress Centre] put lots of money in those, so be careful with them, okay? It’s, in fact, very simple: you are getting put on your location by me and then you’ll just do as I tell you. If there’s ever a problem, don’t try and solve it; come to me, because after all these years, I know you’ll just create chaos if you don’t. Finally, don’t come up with ideas. After 25 years, I heard all of them already and I’ve got more to do than just listen to stuff I already heard before.”
(The grouch gets seated. During his speech, I notice his shirt isn’t tucked into his trousers and his hand is in his pocket, which, in the Netherlands, is considered a very rude and sloppy thing when giving a speech or presentation. After the man gets seated, a young lady takes over, and starts doing a presentation which is much better and much more inspiring. The grouch seems to be more interested in his phone, although he might be checking important messages. At one point, the lady asks him a question.)
Young Lady: “I’ll be starting the video now, okay?”
Grouch: *looking up from his phone* “Hmm? Sorry?”
Young Lady: “Is it okay to start the video?”
Grouch: “Oh, yeah, fine.”
(This continues for a while. I’ve had different jobs over the years, and although I hate people like this, their existence doesn’t even surprise me anymore. But at some point, the lady starts addressing his behaviour.)
Young Lady: “[Grouch], do you have anything to say?”
Grouch: “Hmm? No, what do you mean?”
Young Lady: “Well, I don’t really like your attitude. Maybe we should pay some attention to it.”
Grouch: “Oh? What’s wrong with my attitude then?”
(He doesn’t sound angry yet, but I know people like this. An argument will break out within minutes, not that the guy doesn’t deserve it.)
Young Lady: “Well, you’re not paying attention, and you’re looking at your phone all the time.”
Coworker #2: “To be honest, you don’t seem very enthusiastic.”
Grouch: “I don’t?”
Coworker #3: “Yes; your appearance makes me wonder whether you feel sick or something.”
Coworker #4: “Yes, I must admit, it’s even a bit unreal…”
(Then the grouch surprises me.)
Grouch: *standing up, putting his clothing right* “Okay, you’re right. Fair enough. I’ll do my introduction again. Hello everyone, my name is [Name], and I’m an actor, here to assist with the training.”
(And to be honest, I expected everything but that! The workplace turned out to be fine, by the way.)
This story is part of the grouch day roundup!
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(I graduated a few years ago, but due to the “experience problem” still haven’t managed to find a suitable job. Currently, I’m doing uneducated hospitality work, like catering, banqueting, etc. in a congress centre. One morning, I have a conversation about all and nothing with a colleague.)
Me: “Well, I like being treated like an adult, you know? I mean, my age and my master grade might be signs that I am an adult, don’t you think?”
Coworker: “You have a grade?”
Me: “Yes, university.”
Coworker: “Then, what are you doing here?”
Me: “Earning actual money.”
This story is part of the Millennials Roundup!
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