The Employees Are In A Vegetative State

, , , , , , | Working | October 19, 2017

(I decide to stop by the sandwich shop on campus for lunch today. I’m a really picky eater, and I hate lettuce and tomato.)

Me: “Can I get the chicken bacon ranch sandwich? And no lettuce or tomato?”

Cashier: “Sure thing.”

(She puts in my order and both the screen and my receipt say, “Hold lettuce, hold tomato.” I pay and go wait for my food. But when I get the sandwich, there’s a problem.)

Me: “Um, excuse me? This has lettuce on it, and I asked for no lettuce.”

Worker: “Oh, sorry about that! I’ll remake it for you.”

(After a few minutes he makes eye-contact with me and gestures for me to come over.)

Worker: “While I was making it, I accidentally put ranch on it. Is that okay?”

Me: “Uh, yeah, it’s a chicken bacon ranch sandwich.”

(He finishes the sandwich and walks away. This time, not only is there lettuce on it, but also tomato. I go to the cashier this time, more than a little frustrated.)

Me: *after explaining what happened and showing her my receipt* “Can you please have someone else make it? I just want the sandwich, no veggies.”

(This time, a different worker made my sandwich and checked that I want no veggies. She made my sandwich in seconds, correctly this time. The sandwich wasn’t even very good.)

Lack Of Homeownership Has Its Benefits

, , , | Working | September 19, 2017

(I am a college student living on campus, and my family lives in a rented home, not an owned one.)

Telemarketer: “Hello, how are you doing today?”

Me: “Good.”

Telemarketer: “That’s great. I’m calling to tell you about this great opportunity to cut your electricity bill by 30%!” *gives spiel* “So, I just have one question. Do you own your home?”

Me: “No.”

Telemarketer: *awkward pause* “Oh. Thanks and, uh… good.” *hangs up*