Not Bowing To Beer Pressure

, , , , | Right | October 5, 2017

(A man and a little girl walk into our store. They come in all the time, so I recognize the man as the best friend of the little girl’s father, but this is the first time I’ve seen them in there without him. They seem a little clueless so I go to help.)

Me: “Is there anything I can do for you, sir?”

Customer: “Maybe. I don’t drink, so I can never remember brand names. Do you by any chance know what kind of beer we usually get when we come in here?”

Little Girl: “Don’t tell him! That way we can’t get it and my daddy won’t poison himself!”

(The man starts laughing and I’m trying to keep a straight face.)

Customer: “Fair enough. We’ll just take a case of the worst beer you have and a case of [Soda]. If he doesn’t like it, I’ll just tell him it’s the universe’s sign he should buy his own beer or quit drinking.”

If The Shirt Fits…

, , , , , , | Right | October 4, 2017

(Our restaurant is open late to accommodate the late-night, usually drunk, crowd of college students. This particular night is exceptionally busy due to a now-traditional party weekend created by students a few years ago. As I am wrapping sandwiches, an obviously drunk customer is looking at t-shirts we have on display on our counter.)

Customer: “Hey, how much are your shirts?” *picks one up to look at it*

Me: “They’re [price], but you’ll have to go back to the register to pay for it.”

Customer: “Oh, okay.”

(He continues to hold the shirt while I go back to wrapping sandwiches. Out of the corner of my eye, I see him slowly lower the shirt below the counter and start fumbling with his shirt, trying to stuff our t-shirt into his pants to steal it.)

Me: “So… are you going to pay for that, or just try to steal it while I’m obviously watching you?”

Customer: “Oh. I, uh… I was, uh… I mean…” *puts the shirt back on the counter*

Me: *removing the shirts from the counter* “Right then. I’ll just move these out of your way.”

(The customer was fine after that, and since he didn’t technically steal anything, and since we were super busy, I decided trying to kick him out wasn’t worth it. The rest of the employees and I just laughed at him for being a poor thief.)

Unable To Identify The Obvious

, , , , | Right | September 30, 2017

(I work at a location that is a combo BBQ restaurant and convenience store. It is because of this that we have two separate liquor licenses for the restaurant and the convenience store, and we are very strict about keeping them separate. Due to the fact that many choose to get their alcohol in the convenience store side, I have to be the bearer of bad news a lot. A guest comes up to the counter with three other men, with his arms literally full of beer.)

Me: “Are you going to be drinking these on the premises?”

Guest: “Yes.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but if you are going to be drinking these on the premises, I have to limit all alcoholic drinks to two per person.”

Guest: “Oh, but there’s a big group of us on the patio.”

Me: “I understand, sir, but I will need to see everyone up here, and I will need to see everyone’s ID to confirm they are of legal drinking age.”

Guest: *starts telling one of the other guys with him to collect everyone’s IDs*

Me: “Oh, I will need to see everyone with their own ID.”

Guest: “Wait. Why?”

Me: “Because I need to see if it is theirs?”

Guest: “But why do they need to be up here?”

Me: “So I can see if they match up with their picture on the ID? That’s how an ID generally works.”

Guest: “Oh.”

Now It’s A Party!

, , , , , | Right | September 20, 2017

(I work in a fine-dining establishment as a chef. Working in a college town, I get a lot of self-entitlement from customers. A drunk college girl bursts into the kitchen.)

Drunk College Girl: *yelling* “It’s Stephanie’s 21st birthday, and our waitress won’t sing to her!”

Me: “We don’t do that here.”

Drunk College Girl: “Well, why the f*** not!?”

Me: “Because it p***es off all the other people in the restaurant, and none of our staff have the time or the interest to honor Stephanie and her stupid birthday.”

(Guys at the next table slow clap.)

Going Crazy One Half-Pint At A Time

, , , , | Right | September 17, 2017

(We have a fairly strict policy about not serving drunk people. One tactic we have in place is a blanket ban on groups; i.e., if one person is unfit for us to serve, we knock back the whole group until the drunk person leaves. On Sunday, two drunk guys come in, so I say, very nicely:)

Me: “Sorry, chaps, not tonight. Another night perhaps, but not tonight.”

(They take it fine, but one of them tries to get my colleague to serve them. He says no, obviously, so the shorter of the two guys heads over to me.)

Man: “So, how come you’re saying no?”

Me: “Truthfully, you’re friend looks really unsteady on his feet, and he’s clearly slurring his speech, but as you came in together, it’s our policy to refuse the group. It’s not personal, but it’s not something I’m going to change.”

(He seems to think that was fair enough, but keeps asking for just a drink for him, asking me to explain myself again, and telling me that it is just his friend, not him. I am polite and firm, but am getting tired of this discussion.)

Man: “Besides, he’s only had three pints!”

Me: “Only three pints? All that proves is that your friend can’t drink, if that’s the state of him after three pints!”

(Luckily, he found it funny that I was making fun of his friend, shook my hand, and left. Not my most professional moment, but it worked!)

Page 3/512345
« Previous
Next »