You’ve Been Brandied A Problem Customer

, , , , , | Right | September 4, 2017

(I work at a small local store that specializes in multiple types of gourmet booze [which basically translates to any brand and type you wouldn’t find in a normal grocery store]. One day I get that customer we all know and love: a barely 20-something-year-old with no ID, who can’t understand why we won’t sell any booze to him. He gets verbal, but after my manager steps in and basically tells him to either produce ID or talk to the police, the guy leaves. Fast forward to my shift the next day.)

Customer: “Bottle of [Expensive Brandy] please.”

(I look up and am taken aback to see it’s the same guy again.)

Me: “Do you have your ID this time?”

Customer: “It’s in my car. What do you mean ‘this time’?”

Me: “Sir, we went over this yesterday. If we think you’re underage, we need to see your ID.”

Customer: “…D*** it, I didn’t think you were smart enough to remember me!”

(He storms out and my shift continues without further drama. Fast forward to next weekend and…)

Customer: “Hey, you got any [Same Expensive Brandy] in?”

(Yep, same guy, except this time he’s wearing a hat that’s pulled down low to shadow his face.)

Me: “That depends; do you have your ID with you this time?”

Customer: “I’ve never been in here before!”

Me: “Sir, you spoke to me less than seven days ago.”

Customer: “…you still remember that?”

Me: “It’s hard to forget you when you keep coming in here and trying the same thing, over and over again. Not to mention that, even if I didn’t, the rules aren’t going to change. You want your brandy, you need ID.”

(More cursing and swearing as the guy stormed out again. Later on the store owner got a complaint letter saying he needed to fire the “smart-a**es who keep ruining everyone’s weekend.”)

18 Is The Age And The I.Q.

, , , | Right | August 29, 2017

(The age limit to buy alcohol in Finland is 18. If a customer buying alcohol looks under 30 years old, we are instructed to ask for an ID. The “younger than 30 years rule” is a nationwide rule and it’s in effect pretty much everywhere. You can only use a passport, a driver’s license, or an official ID card to prove your age since these are the official Finnish IDs issued by the state. I’m a student working part-time in a supermarket as a cashier. In my store there is a sign at each register stating the alcohol law and listing the valid IDs. It’s about 8:45 pm on a very quiet summer evening and we are about 15 minutes from closing. A young man, maybe in his late teens or early 20s, comes to my register with a shopping basket full of beer.)

Me: “May I see some ID, please?”

Customer: *pats his pockets* “S***, I forgot my passport at home.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but legally I can’t sell you these without an ID.”

Customer: “Come on, I don’t look that young. I’m 22! I’m obviously over 18! Can’t you just make an exception this once since there is no-one else here?”

Me: “Sorry, but you have to have an ID. That’s the law.” *I point at the sign at the register*

Customer: “H***, I need this beer for a party and it’s too late to go home to get my ID and come back before nine!”

(In Finland it is illegal for retailers [grocery stores, etc.] to sell alcohol after nine pm [and before nine am]. After nine pm you can only buy alcohol from bars, clubs, restaurants, etc.)

Customer: “But look!” *pulls up his shirt* “I have a tattoo! That means I’m over 18!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but, first of all, you don’t need to be 18 to get a tattoo, and more importantly, a tattoo is not a valid ID. You need to have either a passport, a driver’s license, or an official ID card.”

Customer: “S***! Wait! I have my car keys with me. Look!”

Me: “Yeah, I can see them. Unfortunately they are not a valid ID either. You need either a passport, a driver’s license, or an official ID card.”

(Customers hands me his beers and starts to leave.)

Customer: “This sucks. We ran out of beer and it was already 30 minutes to nine. I was in such a hurry to get here I just grabbed my keys, credit card, and license from my bag and forgot the passport.”

Me: “…your license? Your DRIVER’S license?”

Customer: “Yeah.”

Me: “You do realise you can use your driver’s license as an ID, right?”

(The customer left very happy with his beers. I was left playing my favourite guessing game: on drugs or just very slow?)

Driving Home The Point

, , , , | Working | June 6, 2017

(I, my aunt, and a family friend all carpool out to eat at a restaurant that usually provides good service and great food. Our friend orders a glass of wine.)

Waitress: “Here’s your wine. You’re not driving tonight, are you?”

Friend: “Oh, no, we all came in one car and I’m not the driver. No worries, dear!”

Waitress: “Okay.”

(We figure that’s the end of it, but then we get our meals.)

Friend: “That glass of wine was so good! Could I get another one, please?”

Waitress: “Oooookay, but that’s your last one for the night, okay?”

(Our friend looks upset, so at this point I decide to step in.)

Me: “[Waitress], I really appreciate what you’re doing here; drunk driving is a serious issue. However, as we’ve already told you, she is not the driver tonight, so please just get her what she asks.”

Waitress: “Hey. You drink, you drive, you lose!”

Me: “She’s not driving! Listen to us! We all came in one car and it’s her–” *point to my aunt* “–that’s driving us all home. No one at this table is getting behind any wheel after drinking alcohol, okay?”

(The waitress wordlessly walked away, but our friend still looked a little embarrassed. We reassured her that she was fine and decided not to push the issue with a manager. After we paid and left, I glanced behind us as we were getting in the car and saw the same waitress watching us all get in to make sure our friend wasn’t driving! I just shook my head and decided not to upset our friend any more by telling her.)

Acting Like A Child

, , , , | Right | June 3, 2017

Me: “Sir, you can’t take drinks into the child’s play area.”

Patron: “Why not?! My table is just through there.”

Me: “Because it is a children’s play area.”

(The man then downed the entire cocktail pitcher and staggered through the play area before I could say another word.)

Advocating Alcoholic Desserts

, , , , , | Right | May 31, 2017

(I am buying drinks for Christmas with a friend. I pick up a bottle of Advocaat.)

Friend: “I’ve never had that. What’s it like?”

Me: “Pretty much just tastes like alcoholic custard.”

Customer: *laughing* “That’s brilliant! Does that mean I can put it on my dessert?”

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