A Notable Lack Of Notation

, , , , | Working | January 24, 2018

(My mom has never had any luck with financial companies, whether they take out too much money or forget to take out any at all. On this night my mom, my two brothers, and I are cooking supper, when my work calls. We never check the home phone, and my job calling prompts my mom to check the messages. There’s been a message saying that if she doesn’t call back this financial company about her mortgage, they will take legal action. She calls them back.)

Mom: “Hi, I just got the message about my mortgage. What’s going on?”

Caller #1: “Yes, we never got your last payment.”

Mom: “It was supposed to go out on [date]. Did it not?”

Caller #1: “Oh, yes. Now I see; it’s in the notes.”

(They get it all figured out, and we are just finishing cooking when the phone rings.)

Mom: “Hello?”

Caller #2: “Hello, may I speak to [Mom]?”

Mom: “Speaking?”

Caller #2: “Yes, I’m calling because your last payment never went out.”

Mom: “I just spoke to someone not five minutes ago; we got it all figured out.”

Caller #2: “Oh, yeah. It’s right here in the notes.”

(She hangs up and we sit down for dinner. The phone rings again.)

Mom: “This is the third call in the last hour. I have spoken to someone.”

Caller #3: “Oh, yes. It’s right here, in the notes.”

(My mom hangs up.)

Me: “Next time they call, you should just say, ‘Check the notes,’ and hang up.”

Grandma Is Not Always Right

, , , , , , | Related | January 23, 2018

(My fiancé, his grandmother, and I go on a trip to the nearby city for some errands and end up in a well-known pizza place. After placing our order, my fiancé’s grandmother waits about ten minutes and then starts complaining.)

Grandma: “What is taking them so long?”

Fiancé: “Shouldn’t be much longer.”

Grandma: “Look at all these people! We should have just ordered like them and got the buffet.”

Fiancé: “You wanted leftovers to take home, Grandma.”

(At this point a waitress, not our waitress, walks by.)

Grandma: “Excuse me! I said, ‘Excuse me!’”

Other Waitress: “Yes?”

Me: “She’s not our waitress, [Grandma].”

Grandma: “Do you know how much longer for our food? If it’s not ready yet, I want the order cancelled.”

Me: “She’s not our waitress; she wouldn’t know about our order.”

Other Waitress: “I’m not sure, ma’am. I can certainly have a look.”

(The other waitress leaves and literally as she walks away, our waitress brings our food. There has been a total wait time of 20 minutes for two pizzas and a calzone.)

Grandma: “Fin—”

Me: *cutting her off* “Those look amazing! Thank you so much.”

No ID, No Idea, Part 33

, , , , | Right | January 23, 2018

(In Alberta, it’s illegal to be in a liquor store without your ID, regardless of age, unless you’re accompanied by a parent or guardian. Most people use their driver’s licence as ID, and it’s illegal to drive without it. Breaking either law warrants a steep fine. The store I work at checks the ID of anyone who appears to be under 25. I’ve only been on shift for an hour, but I’ve already had to turn away six people who have been unable to show me their ID, and I’m starting to get frustrated.)

Me: “Could I see your ID, please?”

Customer: “Uh… I was hoping you wouldn’t ask that. I forgot it. But c’mon! You should remember me. I’m here almost every day!”

Me: “I’m sorry; I can’t serve you without ID.”

Customer: “You should remember me! I buy beer here all the time! Don’t I look familiar?”

Me: “Sir, it’s not legal for you to be in here without it. I need to see your ID.”

Customer: “Nah, you don’t, since you remember who I am! If you remember me, I don’t need it. I come in all the time.”

(I’ve had enough. I cover my nametag with my hand.)

Me: “Sir, I’ll sell you your beer right now, if you can tell me what my name is.”

Customer: “Uh… I don’t know. I don’t pay attention to nametags. How should I know what your name is?”

Me: “Well, if you’re in here all the time, then you must remember me, right? Look: I’ve served about 100 customers per day, five days per week, for the last eight years. I don’t remember most of them. If you don’t have your ID, you need to leave.”

Customer: “FINE!”

(He proceeded to get in his vehicle and peel off, presumably without his licence. I hope the cops pulled him over for speeding and driving without a licence!)

Related:

No ID, No Idea, Part 32
No ID, No Idea, Part 31
No ID, No Idea, Part 30

Pre-Order Disorder

, , , , , | Right | January 20, 2018

(It is just after the release of an AAA title. Any customers wishing to reserve a copy usually put down a five dollar deposit and need to have their receipt in order to pick it up on release day.)

Customer: *walks in arrogantly* “I want to pick up a copy of [Title].”

Me: “We would be glad to sell you a copy; however, all of the ones we currently have are for pre-orders only. I’m afraid we have none left for walk-ins.”

(The customer starts arguing, and our pre-order customers are starting to file in behind him. He remains oblivious.)

Customer: “Do you mean to tell me that all copies of that game are reserved? That’s ridiculous! I want you to sell me a copy of [Title] now, or I’ll call your head office.”

Me: *sly wink to the line up* “Sir, if you would like to purchase a copy, then you’ll have to convince one of the 20 or so people behind you to give up one of theirs.”

(The customer turns around and finds himself staring down an angry mob.)

Customer: *pregnant pause* “I’ll, uh… I’ll go and see if [Department Store] has some.”

(I spent the day bro-fisting the line. It was awesome.)

Unfiltered Story #103851

, , | Unfiltered | January 19, 2018

My coworker was helping an older couple with ice makers

Husband: Do these ice makers make ice?

Coworker: Yes these ice makers make ice.

Wife: Are you sure?

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