(I am waiting for my tea latte to be done when a rude man comes, orders, and then takes other people’s drinks, one being mine.)

Man: “Miss! You put the wrong name down. My name isn’t Moorgreat.”

(Yeah, he pronounced my name wrong.)

Barista: “Sir, that’s probably because you grabbed the wro—”

Man: “No, I did not grab the wrong one! You just spelled my name wrong! I want your manager! This is third time you have made a mistake!”

(I have now gotten next to him and grabbed my drink from his hand.)

Me: “It’s pronounced ‘Mar-Greet.’ This is my drink. Yours are over there, getting cold.”

(The man was speechless and looked around to the glaring people, and then he took his drinks and left. Everyone got their right drinks and I bought a muffin for the barista.)

(A third-grade student can’t find her shoe at the end of the day. I give her a couple of suggestions of places to check for it.)

Student #1: “Miss [Teacher], I still can’t find it.”

Me: “Sorry, [Student #1], I don’t know what else to suggest. My shoe-finding spell doesn’t work very well.”

Student #1: “What do you mean?”

Me: *waving my pen as if it were a wand* “Oh, you know— Accio shoe!“

Student #2: *from under a desk across the room* “Here it is!”

Student #1: *in awe* “It worked!”

(I work at a popular fast food restaurant that serves a wide variety of sandwiches and paninis as part of their lunch menu. This occurs when I am taking orders in the drive-thru.)

Me: “Good afternoon and welcome to [Restaurant]. What can I get for you today?”

Customer: “Can I get a…” *reads* “…turkey chi-pot-el pa-nai-nai?”

Me: *realizing he means a turkey chipotle panini* “Okay, and did you want that on white bread or multigrain?”

Customer: “I’ll get it on mult-ai-grain, please.”

(I work in a small store that sells kitchen accessories as well as both kitchen and sporting knives. There are usually two people in at a time so we have the chance to sit in the backroom and eat our lunch without being disturbed. My coworker has just gone for her lunch when a customer comes in.)

Me: “Hello, is there anything I can help you find today?”

Customer: “No, I know what I want. I want this sporting knife by [Brand]. I have done my research and I’m set on this one.”

Me: “Okay. Let me just grab it for you and I will bring it up to the till.”

(I grab the knife for the customer and ring her through.)

Me: “That will be $135.76; will that be everything for you?”

Customer: “That is way too expensive. Can you discount the price for me?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but unless the knife is damaged I can’t reduce the price.”

Customer: “Yeah, let’s do that!”

Me: “Do what?”

Customer: “Discount the price.”

Me: “I can’t do that, ma’am; the item is not damaged so I can not offer a discount.”

(At this point my coworker comes out and grabs her water, then goes back into the backroom.)

Customer: “Oh, if I had known she was working today, I would have just asked for her to help me. She always gives me a discount, because we know each other; she always gives me half off.”

(I know she is lying because she just “suddenly” remembered that my coworker gives her discounts, and the most we can give is 20% off to a customer; if we give any more than 50% off an item that isn’t marked down as 50%, we get locked out of the system and can not log in unless a manager is contacted, and we have to explain why we were issuing a 50% discount on an item that isn’t on sale.)

Me: “Don’t stand there and lie to my face. My coworker and I work every shift together because we are more productive as a team, and ever since we have worked together we have never seen you in here before. But if you would like, I can go grab my coworker and you can tell me again how you know each other and how she always gives you a discount.”

Customer: “I can’t believe you treat your customers like this. Give me a business card; I’m going to be calling your manager and corporate to tell them your attitude is horrendous!”

Me: *puts a business card on the counter* “Feel free, and you can also tell them how you lied to me about knowing my coworker, just so you wouldn’t have to pay full price on an item. Have a nice day, and thank you for shopping with [Company].”

(She never called my manager or corporate, but according to my manager she came in two other times with my other coworkers and tried to pull the same thing. We have her picture up in our backroom, and are told to refuse her service.)

(I am working in the electronics section of the toy store. A little kid is playing the video games we have out to demo. We assume that a man that is also in this section is his father. The man comes up to the register to buy his items.)

Child: “GOD F****** D*** IT!”

(My coworker and I look at each other, shocked at his language.)

Coworker: “Sir, is that your child?”

Customer: “That isn’t my kid. If he was, I would drag him out of the store.”

Me: *walks up to the child* “Are your parents in the store?”

Child: “My mom knows where I am.”

Me: “That’s good, but are your parents in the store? We don’t allow parents to leave their children alone in different departments; may I ask your mother’s name?”

(After having to talk to the rude child, I finally get the mother’s name. We call her to our department and she storms over as fast as she can, annoyed that we won’t let her leave her child in our department alone. My manager also comes down to the department, knowing there will probably be an angry mother yelling at us.)

Mother: “I don’t understand what the big deal is; he’s here playing video games like I told him to!”

Me: “I am sorry, ma’am, but we had no way of knowing this, and our store policy states that you cannot leave your kid alone in our store; he has to be with his parent. Plus, your child was swearing in our store around other children. We had no way of knowing if you had just left him in our store and walked around the mall, or if you had just abandoned him here.”

Mother: “Where does it say that? I think you just made it up so you wouldn’t have to look after my child in this department.”

Manager: “We have signs set up at every entrance, and we have signs set up all throughout the store. You are standing right beside one. I am sorry, ma’am, but my employees are not your personal babysitters. If it were me instead of [My Name], I would have called someone to report an abandoned child, which is what we are supposed to do in an event like this.”

Mother: “That’s a pile of horses***! My child is staying here, and I am continuing my shopping.”

(The mother then proceeds to turn around to continue her shopping.)

Manager: “I’m sorry, miss, but you are ignoring our store policy, and leaving your child unattended. If you do not take your child with you, then we have no choice but to assume you are abandoning your child, so you can either take your child with you as you continue shopping, or you and your child can leave our store and you will not be welcome back.”

(The mother ignored my manager and left her child in the electronics section. We actually had to call someone because she left our store and was gone for more than two hours walking through other stores in the mall. We never saw her or her child in our store again.)