Cut The Hair, Not The Bureaucracy

, , , , | Right | May 10, 2018

(I am sitting in a barber shop waiting for my turn. This place is part of a chain and everyone is asked their phone number and name to go in their system.)

Hairdresser: “Welcome to [Store]! Have you checked in online?”

Customer: “No. I’m just here for a haircut.”

Hairdresser: “Okay, can I get your phone number?”

Customer: “I’M JUST HERE FOR A HAIRCUT! I DON’T WANT TO FILL IN YOUR STUPID DEMOGRAPHIC! I’M GOING SOMEWHERE ELSE!”

A Beautiful Scam

, , , , | Friendly | May 7, 2018

(I have just left work and am walking down four blocks to meet up with my husband at his building to head home. I’m about halfway there when an older man stops me on the sidewalk.)

Man: “Oh, miss, I just had to stop you to tell you how beautiful you are!”

Me: “Uh, thanks.”

(I assume he is going to try and sell me something, so I am prepared to turn whatever it is down.)

Man: “You must be stopped like this all the time. How often does this happen to you, miss?”

Me: *thinking that if I appear overconfident perhaps he will stop badgering me*All the time. Constantly.”

Man: “Oh, how nice for you, miss. Now, how do you respond when people say this to you?”

Me: “I say, ‘Thank you.’”

Man: “That’s all? You don’t offer to take them out for lunch or dinner to thank them for such a wonderful compliment?”

Me: *now convinced this man is trying to get a free meal from me* “I tell them that I’m on my way to meet my husband.”

Man: “OH. Oh, I see. OH. Okay. Um… Okay, well, you tell him that is very lucky man and that you get stopped on the street. Oh. Okay. Bye now.”

(It might have been flattering if it didn’t seem like he was trying to scam me! My husband got a good laugh out of it later.)

The Fabric Of Kindness

, , , , , | Hopeless | May 4, 2018

Many years ago, my husband and I had a futon bed, and then a futon couch and two armchairs, made and upholstered by an older couple with a small shop near our home.

Several years later, I lost my job and we decided to move back to the coast with my severance pay. The covers on the couch and chairs were rather worn by then — we had a small child and three cats — so we decided to have the couple reupholster them before we left, in spite of having to make the money last until we found new employment.

When we went to pick up the couch and chairs, the woman told us there was no charge, as they were retiring very soon and were just using up the fabric they had on hand. No mention of the time and excellent work they had put in. We were gobsmacked, to say the least, and very, very grateful.

It’s Getting Warmer In Here

, , , , | Hopeless | April 27, 2018

(My pet cat suddenly stops eating and develops jaundice. His mouth and ears are school-pencil-yellow. I take him to the vet once I realize how bad it is. I’m told he’s developed “fatty liver syndrome,” which is where a cat stops eating for whatever reason, so the liver tries to energize the body off fat reserves, can’t process it, and shuts down. I am told, even if we do everything, my cat has a very low chance of making it. I am a poor student. I’m scared out of my mind, as I just lost my dog of 14 years to cancer a few months ago, and now my cat — which I took from an abusive family situation — is on its deathbed. I tell the vet this, and that I lost one pet this year. I tell him if I had anything to say about it I wouldn’t let this one go, too, but that I am poor and can only do what I can from home. The vet proceeds to stock me up with saline fluid, needles, tubes, syringes, and antibiotics. He’s gambling that this was caused by an infection; if we get rid of that, hydrate him, and stimulate his appetite through meds, he might recover. He instructs me on how to do everything from home, including how to force-feed my cat, inject him with fluids, and take his temperature.)

Vet: “Do you have a thermometer?”

Me: “No, but I can get one.”

(He looks me in the eyes, pulls a thermometer out of a drawer, and slides it across the table.)

Vet: “Oops. I seem to have misplaced my thermometer.”

(Thanks to the understanding and support of this vet, his instruction, tools, and some hard-handed TLC, I can happily say that five years later my cat is doing just fine.)

The Couponator 5: Online Decline

, , , , | Right | April 21, 2018

(A woman comes up to my register to pay for her items.)

Me: “Hi, is that all for you today?”

Customer: “Yes. I have a $5 coupon on my phone; I just need to pull it up.”

Me: “Okay, great, no problem.”

(I see her struggle to load the page; after a few moments she shows me a blank screen.)

Customer: “It’s not loading, but it’s right here.”

Me: “I’m sorry. Since that’s just a blank page and there’s no barcode or sku number, there’s no way I can actually put the coupon into the system.”

Customer: “There has to be a way you can honour it! Can I speak to a manager?”

Me: “She’s not in right now; it’s just me. But even if she was, there’s no way our system will let us use the coupon since we can’t actually see it.”

(I spend a few more minutes trying to help her get the page to load. After a moment, I realize she’s connected to a Wi-Fi hotspot several blocks away.)

Me: “Do you have LTE?”

Customer: *blank stare*

Me: “Do you have mobile Internet on your smartphone? If you do, you’ll be able to connect to the Internet, as we don’t have Wi-Fi here.”

Customer: “I don’t have that.”

Me: “Okay, then, I’m sorry. It’s not possible for me to take your coupon today.”

Customer: “That’s ridiculous! What good is a coupon if I can’t even use it?!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. Next time be sure to print the coupon, or take a screenshot next time you are connected to the Internet.”

Customer: “This isn’t fair! You should be able to honour it!”

Me: “It’s not our fault that you don’t have Internet, ma’am. I’m sorry that you feel inconvenienced.”

(I ring up her purchase.)

Me: “Thank you. Have a nice day.”

Customer: *mumbles incoherently, snatches her bag, and storms off*

Related:
The Couponator 4: Deadly Discounts
The Couponator 3: Rise Of The Coupons

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