(Typically, we ask guests to call in advance with large orders so we have more time to prepare their order. In the drive-thru:)

Customer: “I’ll have twenty-four large iced capps, six dozen donuts, two dozen muffins, and a hundred-and-fifty timbits.”

Coworker: *somewhat speechless* “Okay, we’ll have your total at the window.”

(By this point, we’re all running around frantically trying to make their order so our drive-thru times are not completely destroyed. They’ve been at the window not even two minutes.)

Customer: “Holy s***! Could you hurry up a bit so I don’t run out of gas waiting here?!”

(I work in a sub shop. There are a lot of shady people in this part of town. Most are rough around the edges, but despite this, you get customers that make you panic. It’s a very hot summer day, and a customer walks in wearing a thick coat, with his hand in his pocket, clearly holding something bulky with weight. This already sets off a few red flags for me. The customer walks in but doesn’t join the lineup, rather just starts pacing around the cash register. His eyes are constantly shifting between all the people in the store, though he refuses to make direct eye contact.)

Me: “Hello. If you’re going to be getting something I need you to join the rest of the lineup.”

Customer: *ignores my statement*

(I start trying to finish orders so other customers can leave the store ASAP; they also seem to be getting nervous about this person. As soon as I finish the last customer, while my coworker rings them through the till, I start stepping around the corner to grab my phone and keep an eye on the situation. The customer proceeds to walk up to the register, hand still on whatever is in his pocket. My coworker and I exchange a nervous glance.)

Customer: *quickly pulls an item from pocket* “Hi, I would like to get some cash for these rolls of coins.”

(My coworker and I looked at the thirty or so full rolls of change. This is what he’d had in his pocket, to our collective relief. After we made the exchange, we talked to each other about how we had both thought it was a gun.)

(The customer I am with assumes everything I am doing is wrong, thinks I am stupid, and flat-out insults me to my face. I am just getting one of their last items, a simple hide-a-bed, which is a decently bulky item that we keep on the floor for convenience.)

Me: “Since you’re getting furniture, anyway, would you like me to bring this into the warehouse so they can load it with the rest of your purchase?”

Customer: “Sure. Whatever. Just hurry up already.”

Me: “All right, just let me finish filling out this ticket, then, and I’ll get that all set up for you.” *hands the customer the ticket* “So, once you pay for this at the till, you just need to drive around to the back and ring the buzzer, and the boys’ll load it up for you.”

Customer: “Fine.”

(I bring the hide-a-bed back and let the warehouse crew know about the purchase, so they can prepare it. It had been a busy day so they need to finish a couple of other orders first. During this time the customer has paid for their purchase and is waiting at the front door. Around twenty minutes later…)

Customer: *walking up to till* “Where’s my stuff? I’ve been waiting for about twenty minutes.”

Coworker #1: “I’m sorry? Let me check.” *walks up to me* “Yes, this customer is waiting for their stuff. Did you say you’d bring it out here?”

Me: “No, I informed them all of their furniture is in the back; they’ve just got to drive around.”

Customer: “What about my hide-a-bed?”

Me: “I brought it to the back like you wanted.”

Customer: *storming out, muttering various insults and cursing under their breath*

(The customer proceeds to drive around to our warehouse where our warehouse crew is still busy dealing with a couple of large orders that happened just before my customer. Warehouse crew has to check receipts on all orders, and the warehouse is exclusively employees only. This customer storms into the warehouse, grabs the hide-a-bed, and literally THROWS it into their vehicle.)

Coworker #2: “Whoa, whoa, whoa! What are you doing?”

Customer: “Well, this is mine! I’m taking it with the rest of my furniture because that idiot employee out there wasn’t listening.”

Coworker #2: “You can’t just walk in here; this is employees only. Let me see your receipt.” *the customer reluctantly hands over the receipt* “All right, yeah, this is the hide-a-bed I was told about. All due respect, though, because of you trespassing and not showing me the receipt before taking this, you are liable for any damages that may happen to that hide-a-bed.”

Customer: “Yeah, whatever.”

Coworker #2: “I’ll get the rest of your order. But for the record, I was on the other side of that door when he sold you the hide-a-bed and he did exactly what you asked. I don’t think he’s the idiot.”

Customer: *continues to fume while my coworkers finish the order*

(After they load up their vehicle they speed off. Around twenty minutes later, we see this vehicle return and most of our staff let out a collective groan.)

Customer: “This g**d*** hide-a-bed you sold me is broken. I demand a replacement.”

(As it turns out, the customer throwing the hide-a-bed broke the slats.)

Coworker #2: “It wasn’t damaged when I inspected it, and as I told you, because of you mishandling it, we are not liable for the damage.”

(The customer completely lost it, making up various curse words until our manager came in to resolve the situation, and when the coworker explained it, our manager restated what the coworker had said, pointing out the distinct “Employees Only” sign and the fact that the customer didn’t follow store policies. After all this was done, my manager, who had been keeping an eye on the situation, came up to us and congratulated me for handling the situation properly. Then she got grumpy with [Coworker #2], but admitted that she herself would have done the same thing.)

One day at work in our small office, the intercom beeped, as it usually does before our receptionist announces who a call is for and what line. However, this time, I didn’t hear our receptionist. Instead, my phone started squealing and beeping!

I started to giggle at the technological difficulties, and then one of my coworkers said something funny from his office, and I burst out laughing. All of a sudden, my boss appeared in my office, and simply pointed at my phone. Somehow, I had accidentally bumped a button and paged the entire office, so everyone heard me giggling and laughing over the intercom!

(I’m the customer in this one. This site has made me paranoid. I’m at a donut shop, getting a coffee and a donut. The clerk goes to the display and grabs a donut that’s very similar to the one I ordered.)

Clerk: “Is this one you ordered?”

(It’s close enough, and I don’t want to raise a fuss.)

Me: “Yeah, fine. Whatever.”

(The manager decides to step in.)

Manager: “Hold on a minute, [Clerk]. We’ve been getting a lot of complaints lately because you keep getting [donut I ordered] confused with [donut she grabbed]. Are you sure that’s what he ordered?”

Clerk: “Yes, I am. I even checked with him.” *turns to me* “You ordered [donut she grabbed], right?”

Me: “Umm… actually, I ordered [donut I ordered].”

Clerk: “What? Why didn’t you say anything?”

Me: “I didn’t want to look like one of those idiot customers you read about on the Internet.”