Sometimes The Classics Still Get You

, , , , | Right | January 6, 2021

Customer: “I’d like to know how much the truck costs?”

Me: “Which size?”

Customer: “The one that’s $19.95.”

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Email Fail, Part 28

, , , , , | Right | January 4, 2021

My client is an older woman with an old computer. She writes the “info” column about her town in the local county weekly newspaper — basically a gossip column. The column is due Monday morning, and this is the fourth or fifth time she has called me after 10:00 pm on a Sunday night about this same exact issue.

Client: “The computer lost my column! I spent all day working on it and it’s gone!”

Me: “What were you using to write the column?”

I sigh, as I already know the answer.

Client: “My email program. Can you help me get it back?”

Me: “When you were writing it, did you save it at all?”

Again, I already know the answer.

Client: “I’ve never had to do that before. I shouldn’t have to. Please get it back!”

I don’t bother to ask if the program crashed or if she closed it without saving the email. It doesn’t matter. To help her, I assume that it is the former.

Me: “This has happened before, remember? That email program has problems that can’t be fixed. I showed you how to save the email as a draft, so you don’t lose it. You need to save it occasionally so you don’t lose everything.”

Yes, I’ve found that repetition is necessary with many people.

Client: “I don’t care about that. Please, please get my column back! I spent hours on it!”

Me: “I’ve tried to do that before also, remember? I came to your house at 11:00 pm before to try, and it is not possible. If the email wasn’t saved before the program quit, it is gone.”

Client: “I’ve never had a problem doing my column this way before!”

Me: “Yes, you have. This exact same thing has happened to you before, and you have called me about it before. I’m sorry. There is nothing I can do to get your column back.”

Maybe this sounds harsh. I had been at her house a number of times to help with this problem. I tried to get her to save the email draft: no go. I tried to get her to use a different email program: no go. I tried to get her to use Windows Notepad to write the column, and save it: no go. I tried to get her to look at teaching websites to learn to do things on the computer: no go.

She really did not want to change how she did things. She was adamant about not having to learn anything new on the computer. I really wanted to help her, but eventually, we had to part ways because there was no way I COULD help her.

Email Fail, Part 27
Email Fail, Part 26
Email Fail, Part 25
Email Fail, Part 24
Email Fail, Part 23

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His New Year Started A Little Early

, , , , , | Right | December 31, 2020

I work for a taxi company answering the phones and arranging taxis for customers. It’s New Year’s Eve, the biggest night of the year for cabs.

Me: “[Taxi Company], may I start with your phone number?

The caller has clearly had a few.

Caller: “Yeah, it’s [number].”

Me: “Okay…”

I type in the number, but no previous addresses show up.

Me: “And where are you tonight?”

Caller: “What? Well, I’m in Timbuktu. What does it matter?”

Me: “I need to know where you are so I can send you a taxi.”

Caller: “…”

Me: “Do you need a taxi, sir?”

Caller: “…”

Me: “Can you tell me why you called, sir?”

Caller: “Umm…”

His voice trails off; I wait for a few seconds.

Me: “Have a good night, sir.”

I ended the call. He never called back, so I never did figure out what he wanted.

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Impatience Will Get You Nowhere Painfully Fast

, , , , , , | Friendly | December 16, 2020

My partner and I decide to go camping this summer; provincial campgrounds are only 50% open right now, and it will be a cheap, safe vacation. We get to our site and there’s a large truck blocking it; the owner is staying at the neighbouring site. He moves it willingly but doesn’t stay at a safe distance before he gets in. 

There’s just our small tent and small car on our site, while their site has a large trailer, a tent, and two large trucks. The morning of our checkout arrives, and as we’re leisurely packing everything up, a woman comes from the other site…

Woman: “We have this site booked for tonight and checkout is 11:00. When are you going to be done?”

Me: “Checkout is 2:00. We’ll be out well before then.”

She huffed and went back to her site, watching us. We’d already planned to spend some time collecting spruce tips before we left, but we may have taken a bit more time.

This story is part of our Best Of December 2020 roundup!

Read the next Best Of December 2020 roundup story!

Read the Best Of December 2020 roundup!

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The Spice Must Flow, This Job Must Blow

, , , , | Right | December 14, 2020

There is a great small food place just across from my work building and I end up loving a specific menu item. It’s basically the only thing I’ve ever ordered there, I love it so much. It’s a noodle and veggie bowl with a spicy red coconut curry soup. The question the cashier asks me, I’ve been asked a few times before this instance, but this time, I have to probe further.

Me: “Hi, I’d like the Yoga Fire bowl, with chicken, please.”

Cashier: “Sure! Have you had it before?”

Me: “Yes.”

Cashier: “So you know it’s a bit spicy?”

Me: “Yes. I have to ask; I’ve been reminded of that a few times over the past few months. Have people actually complained that it’s too spicy?”

Cashier: “Yes, a bunch of people did.”

Me: “But it literally has the word ‘fire’ in its name.”

Cashier: “I know. Some people just… I don’t know.”

Pretty sure anything described with the word “fire,” or even “spicy curry,” should have been clear enough. I guess not!

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