(I’m stocking shelves when an elderly female customer approaches. Important to know is that in the store, the ceilings are about twenty feet high.)

Customer: “Can you tell me where the sauerkraut is?”

Me: “Sure, it’s actually in this aisle a few feet ahead.”

(There are only two different kinds of sauerkraut: one on the top shelf and one right below it. The ones on the lower shelf are sold out.)

Customer: “Oh… you don’t have more of this one on the lower shelf in the back?”

Me: “No, sorry, we’ve just received our order and didn’t get it in. There is more of the other kind on the top shelf, though.”

Customer: “Oh, yes, I can see that, but I couldn’t possibly take it. It’s too close to the light.”

Me: “…I’m sorry?”

Customer: “The lights! They’re shining directly on everything on the top shelves, and they make it all too hot to eat. It’s not safe.”

Me: “I, uh, don’t really think that matters too much.”

Customer: “Oh, sure, you say that now. But just you wait; one day you’ll eat warm sauerkraut and die, and whose fault will it be then?”

(I am working in a cell phone kiosk, within a store well known for its overly-exploitable return policy. All of the phone cases we carry are black, grey, or clear, and are one of three well-known brands. A woman approaches the counter carrying a thin, bright pink case.)

Customer: “Give me my money back! This garbage you sold me is broken!”

Me: “Is there an issue with your phone?”

Customer: “No! This case! Here’s my receipt!”

(She tosses a receipt at me. It does show one of the cases we sell for that phone, but they are completely different styles.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but I think there’s a misunderstanding. The case on your receipt is a different case than the one you’re holding. Do you have this case with you?”

Customer: “Excuse me?! This is the case your coworker sold me! I want you to give me my money back!”

(Seeing that this is already going nowhere, I grab the case we sell and open it for her, showing her the differences.)

Me: “This is the case on your receipt. See how the SKU matches up? This case is also [Brand] and so it says the name here on the side. I’m not sure where the case you’re holding came from.”

Customer: “It came from here! It’s been on my phone since day one! Look! It’s on my receipt!”

Me: “I’m very sorry, ma’am, but the item on your receipt is this other case. If you can find that, I’d be happy to return it.”

Customer: “Then you need to explain to me why it’s on my receipt!”

Me: “I have explained, ma’am. It’s not. These are different items. We have never sold that case, and so I cannot return it for you.”

Customer: “[Store] returns everything for me!”

Me: “If they were purchased here. This simply was not.”

Customer: “Your [slur] you have working here grabbed it right out from under there and gave it to me!”

Me: “The only way that would be possible is if he took it off of somebody else’s phone. Do you think that would be the case?”

Customer: “Probably! He took it and charged me! That’s what the [slur]s are all like!

Me: “Ma’am, I’m going to have to ask you to stop insulting my coworkers. You can come back when you find the case you purchased here.”

(She stormed off and went up front, where she complained about me and demanded a refund. I then had to repeat the whole conversation with returns management, who didn’t understand why I didn’t give her money for something we never sold her in the first place.)

(I’m on break but have been roped into working in the smoke shop of a well-known grocery store.)

Customer: “I need two packs of Players Rich Regular.”

Me: “Okay, what colour is that one?”

Customer: “They usually have to go into the back to get it. It’s not on the shelf.”

Me: “Okay, but what colour is it so I can find it?”

(The customer mumbles something that I don’t catch while I grab the keys to the back. I search the labels for Rich, but all I see are Original, Smooth, and an unlabelled one that I assume must be Rich, of which I have five packs in the shop.)

Me: “I didn’t see any that said, ‘Rich,’ on the package but—”

Customer: “It doesn’t say, ‘Rich,’ on the label! It has blue and gray lines on it.”

Me: “Okay, then I do actually have some on the shelf here. Regular, right?”

Customer: “Yes! How long have you been working in the tobacco shop?”

Me: “I’m actually just doing a break in here right now.”

Customer: “Oh, is that why you’re so happy?”

(The customer asked for two other cigarette packs which were easily found, paid, and left with the receipt.)

(I am working the customer service desk at a grocery store that sells public transit passes and booklets of 10 transit tickets. A middle-aged lady approaches the desk).
Customer: *points to an old transit ticket in her wallet) 5.
Me: *thinking she means she wants 5 individual tickets* Unfortunately, we only sell them in booklets of 10.
Customer: 5.
Me: Um they only come in packs of 10 *holds out my elastic band of the packs of tickets*
Customer: *grabs all the tickets out of my hand and counts out 5 packs of tickets without saying anything*
Me: Okay…That will be *price*.
Customer: *pays silently with cash*
Me: Alright here’s your receipt! Have a nice day!
Customer: *doesn’t move and silently stares at me*
(I spent about 5 minutes explaining the price of the tickets and how they come while a line forms behind her before finally…)
Me: Oh did I forget to give you your change.
Customer: *finally speaking* Yes.
Me: *groans inwardly* Ok there is your change! Have a good day!
(She stayed there again for nearly 10 minutes staring at her receipt and slowly putting her 50 bus tickets away while other customers had to awkwardly scoot around her.)

(A customer in her late 30s or early 40s walks up to the customer service desk and waits in a line of about ten irate customers. I am the only person at the counter. After I am yelled at by all these customers, the lady finally gets her turn.)

Me: “Good afternoon, what can I do for you today?”

Customer: “Hello, sir! I came in yesterday and went through your garden center. I bought a bunch of plants and some plastic sidewalk pavers. However, the cashier forgot to charge me for them. I came back today to pay for one and return the other that I do not need. Is that all right?”

Me: *speechless* “Umm, yeah, sure!”

(She goes to the garden center and brings me back a large, about $50 plastic paver, and pays for it. She then hands me a smaller plastic paver and leaves both on my desk.)

Me: *stunned* “Thank you for your honesty. Have the best possible day!”

Coworker: “Oh, my God! You are the awesomest person I have ever met!”

(My manager stopped her on her way out and gave her a gift card for her honesty! It made my day, week, month, and year so much better and renewed my faith in customers!)