They’re Not “Torn” As To Which Student To Pick

, , , , | Learning | October 12, 2017

(I’m studying broadcasting, hoping to get a job in radio. In one of our projects, we have to design a contest for the college radio station, then actually go out into the real world, meet with real businesses, and get them to sponsor it. I’ve got a meeting with a prospective sponsor, so for an extra air of professionalism, I decide to wear my suit. On my way out, I run into one of my instructors in the hallway.)

Instructor: “And what are you all dressed up for?”

Me: “Oh, it’s for the promotions project. I’m off to a meeting with a potential sponsor.”

Instructor: “Well, I’m glad one of you guys knows how to dress to make sales calls.”

(Yeah, turns out my classmates giving their presentations in torn T-shirts weren’t doing so well at rounding up sponsors.)

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I Will Plant Myself Right Here

, , , , | Right | October 11, 2017

(I work at a hotel resort in the Rockies, doing the overnight shift. Since it is a slow night, I spend most of it in the back room doing my reports. At 3:00 am, I go out to roll the business date and come face to face with one of our guests, clearly under the influence, trying to walk off with one of the plants we keep at the front desk. He looks at me, alarmed, obviously not expecting me to be there, and I look at him, surprised to see someone as well. After a moment, he slowly sets the plant back down.)

Guest: *pouting* “You weren’t supposed to see me.”

(He sheepishly walked over to the elevators, and I did my best to refrain from laughing until the elevator doors closed behind him.)

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Talking Tall

, , , , | Learning | October 11, 2017

(I’m the student here, talking with my group, as we are all done with the current assignment. Naturally, we are talking about off-topic stuff. However, the teacher overhears this.)

Teacher: “Is that what you’re supposed to be talking about right now?”

Me: *with utmost confidence and without hesitation* “Yes!”

Teacher: *takes a moment to pause, before laughing* “All right, you win this round. Carry on.”

(They actually let me continue the conversation, though we quieted down a bit.)

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Unfiltered Story #97360

, , | Unfiltered | October 10, 2017

I work at the Disney store, and I’m walking around the store helping customers. I see this one dude standing in the middle of of a row of shelves. I go up to home and say “How’s your treasure hunt going?” (Standard lingo). He says “ok” and keeps typing. I ask him if he needs any help, and he says “Yes actually. How do you spell amputate?”. Me: “Umm… A-M-P-U-T-A-T-E”. Him: ” Thanks!” Then he walks off

How To Make Them Bear-able

, , , , , | Right | October 8, 2017

(I work in a resort known for its ski location. Because of this, we get a lot of people from different provinces and countries. There is quite a difference in altitude where I work, so a lot of younger guests, who go out for drinks at our pub, end up getting a lot more drunk than they probably meant to. Until you’re accustomed to it, altitude combined with drinking the same amount you could 5000 meters below where we are can be a deadly mix. There have been a few times where we’ve had to remove people from the hotel due to disturbing other guests, refusing to quiet down, and insulting and swearing at our front desk agents or security. We do have an RCMP station not far from us, but if we can get the party to cooperate with us, we prefer not to call them, since it is still a bit of a drive for them. One night, I’m working the night audit shift. I know there have been a few noise complaints on one room, and that they have been giving our overnight security a hard time. So, unsurprisingly, they end up in our front lobby, and security asks me to call the RCMP. We’ve worked together a while, and the security officer knows I have a pretty good method of turning off the situation without actually having to get the cops involved, which is why he didn’t call them himself. I pick up the phone and pretend to dial a number. Because of the desk design, guests can’t see that I’m not actually dialing anything.)

Guest: *angry* “You’re actually calling the cops? I’m not doing anything wrong! This is a resort! I’m allowed to have fun here!

(And so begins the rant of how he’s on vacation, and it’s against his rights to kick him out just for having a few drinks, plus some name calling.)

Me: *as straight faced as I can* “Actually, I’m not calling the cops; we’re not in a jurisdiction, so we have to deal with our own problems.”

Guest: *a little concerned* “Who are you calling?”

Me: “Our bear people.”

(We have about 300 grizzly bears that live in the surrounding area, something we are proud about and advertise. “Bear people” is our nickname for the rangers who specialize in conditioning the bears to avoid hikers, campers, etc.)

Guest: “Why? What do they do?”

Me: “They keep track of all our bears. I just want to make sure none of the regulars who frequent this particular area are around. We had to remove guests from the hotel in the past, you see, and well…”

(The guest clearly understands what I’m getting at, goes white as a sheet, and turns to security.)

Guest: “I’d like to go back to my room, please. I won’t make any more noise.”

Security: “All right, but if we get one more noise complaint, you’ll have to trust your luck with the bears.”

(The guest nodded and followed security back up. I’m still waiting on the day that my luck will run out and a guest will actually remember our interaction, or, if they do, complain about it.)

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