Moan-y And Lace-y

, , , , , | Right | June 6, 2020

With “Back To School” season, my shoe store gets a LOT of stressed moms, but this lady is great. She enters with her two daughters, and my coworker offers to measure their feet and help her.

After finding a few shoes, they’re trying on a pair of skate shoes with two sets of laces, so you can wear both or one pair. The woman asks for my coworker’s help, and she tightens and ties the laces. Then, the woman starts arguing with her kids, halfway down an aisle, so my friend walks away after standing around for a few minutes awkwardly.

Customer: “Excuse me! Excuse me! I’d like some help!”

Me: “Yes, can I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, there was another girl who was helping me but she just left.”

Me: “She probably thought you were done talking with her and were talking with your daughters.”

Customer: “Well, obviously not!”

Me: “All right, well, what can I help you with?”

Customer: “The laces!”

Me: “Yes…? There are two pairs, so you can see how they look with the shoes. You can wear one or both.”

Customer: “Well, obviously!”

Me: “What would you like me to do?”

Customer: “Help me! The laces!”

Me: “Do you want them tightened? Or removed? I can take the other ones out—”

Customer: “I thought this was a customer service store, but obviously not!”

Me: “If you tell me what you want, I can help you.”

Customer: “The laces! Obviously, I have to do everything myself here! Self-service, apparently!”

I walked away when she started violently tying/fixing/messing with the laces. She called back to complain to my manager that we were “giving attitude” and the like.

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Smelling Them Like It Is

, , , , , , | Right | June 5, 2020

I’m a professional and qualified aromatherapist. I work in a local shop that specializes in selling all-natural bath and body products, as well as therapeutic quality essential oils. The customer — if you can call her that — enters the store.

Customer: “Yuck, it smells gross in here!”

Me: “I’m sorry you feel that way.”

Customer: “Seriously, how can you work here?”

Me: “I personally enjoy the scent. I find natural fragrances tend to be much nicer than those of toxic synthetics.”

I can smell the cheap perfume she’s bathed in from across the store.

Customer: “Well, I don’t like it! It’s a terrible smell!”

Me: “No one is forcing you to stay here. You came in on your own accord, and you are more than welcome to turn around and leave.”

Customer: “I will! Tell the owner this is a horrible shop!”

Me: “Our clients say otherwise, but I’ll be sure to pass your comment along. And please be sure to take your disgusting attitude and terrible perfume with you when you leave. Have a wonderful day!”

The customer’s face was priceless.

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Off The Leash And Out Of Line

, , , , , , , | Friendly | June 2, 2020

In the north-central part of Calgary, Alberta, there is a large park that is kept as close to natural prairie conditions as possible, the only upgrades being surfaced paths to limit where people can walk. A significant portion of it is designated as an off-leash area. Although we had no dogs at the time, we often walked there.

One day, we were on a path that intersected another path at right angles. On our left on the new trail, walking towards the intersection, were a woman and her dog. The animal was perhaps forty pounds, acting in a non-threatening manner and, of course, not on a lead. On the trail to our right, walking in the opposite direction, was a family of four — two boys, ages between six and ten, a small mom in her forties, and the tall, heavyset father.

When the two parties were perhaps fifteen meters apart, the dad yelled, “Put that dog on a leash!” There was no hint of a request in his voice.

The woman replied, “Sir, this is an off-lead area.”

The father responded, “My little guy is afraid of dogs. Leash him!”

I wanted to ask him why he took his kids there, but decided discretion was the better part of valor. The woman did leash the dog and another bully got rewarded.

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Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 22

, , , , , | Right | May 17, 2020

(I’m ringing up a customer near the end of my shift. I am very obviously pregnant and only about two weeks from my due date.)

Customer: “So, when’s the big day?”

Me: *not cluing in right away* “I’m sorry? What do you mean?”

Customer: *looking absolutely horrified* “You are pregnant, right?!”

Me: “Oh! Yes! Yes, I am! Just a couple more weeks.”

Related:
Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 21
Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 20
Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 19

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Soon She’ll Be Quiet As A (Dead) Mouse

, , , , , | Related | May 14, 2020

I was visiting my parents at the small store my dad owns, and while he was up front, I was chatting with my mom in the back office area. The door between the front and back was open.

My mom commented, “I wonder if that mousetrap has caught anything yet.”

I had been with my dad at the office on the weekend, and I asked, “Did you hear that Dad found a dead mouse in the garbage can last week?”

“He what?! No!”

She rushed to the open door between the front and back and called — loudly — up to the front, “You found a dead mouse in the garbage can?”

It was then, and only then, that she heard him talking to a customer up front. Her eyes widened, and she covered her mouth and almost melted away into her office chair.

After a moment, she whispered, “Haven’t made a business blunder like that in a loooong time.”

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