Unfiltered Story #120136

, , | Unfiltered | September 10, 2018

(A car has just pulled into the drive thru.)

Me: “Thank you for choosing [restaurant]; what can I get for you?”

Customer: “I’m looking for something cold and sweet.”

Me: “Well, we have soft drinks, iced coffee, smoothies-”

Customer: “Smoothies! What kinds?”

(I list off the smoothie flavours, and he orders two.)

Me: “Sure thing! That’ll be [amount] at the second window, please.”

(He pulls up to the window.)

Me: “Hi there!”

Customer: “Oh, hi! I was gonna say, I wanted to know who the cutie was who was talking to us.”

(I’m a little shocked, as I’ve never been hit on by a customer before. I also don’t make small talk very well.)

Me: “Haha… alright. [amount], please.”

(He seemed a little dejected after that. Sorry, drive thru guy.)

Unfiltered Story #119374

, , , | Unfiltered | September 4, 2018

(A Customer walks up and asks to pick up his order. I ask him for his name.)

Customer: “[LAST NAME], Delta Echo Bravo (Phonetic) Alpha Yankee”

… A Moment’s Pause…I find the order.

Me: “Oh, [NAME]. November India Charlie Hotel Oscar (Phonetic) Alpha Sierra.”

Angling For An Explanation

, , , , | Right | September 3, 2018

(I am just finishing high school, working as a cashier/supervisor at a newly-opened grocery store. There is nothing terribly unique about this store, except the mildly noteworthy item that the gas pumps are placed at an angle rather than completely parallel or perpendicular to the store. I come in for my shift later in the afternoon one day and my coworkers relate this story to me.)

Coworker #1: “Hey, [My Name]! You’ll love this. We had a doozy of a customer this morning.”

Me: “Oh, yeah? What happened?”

Coworker #2: “This woman pulled up to [Pump #3], but then circled it maybe two or three times, and somehow settled on parking her car perpendicular to the pump, and so she had to really pull on the hose to get it to reach her car.”

Me: “What?! Why didn’t she just pull up beside it normally?”

Coworker #1: “I have no idea. She seemed totally thrown off by the fact they weren’t aligned to the store. She was super flustered when she came in to pay.”

Coworker #2: “She didn’t make a scene or complain, she just seemed a bit upset by the whole thing.”

Me: “That is very odd. I wonder why on earth she’d do that.”

(Fast forward to later that evening when I am done work. I head home, and have the following conversation with my Mom.)

Mom: “I was at your store earlier today.”

Me: “Oh, yeah?”

Mom: “Yeah, it’s the first time I’ve been there and I have to say, I really don’t understand those angled pumps.”

Me: *wide-eyed realization*

Mom: “It’s so confusing. Why aren’t they just straight?”

Me: “They are straight, Mom. They just aren’t aligned to the building.”

Mom: “I had to circle the pump a few times and I ended up having to park on the short end. The hose barely reached the car!”

Me: *bursting out laughing* It was you? [Coworkers #1 and #2] told me about some lady who couldn’t figure it out! I can’t believe it was you!”

Mom: “They are angled. I don’t understand why they are angled!”

Supply And Demanding

, , , , | Right | August 28, 2018

(I have this conversation on an almost daily basis:)

Customer: “Do you have [thing that was produced in very small quantity and became unexpectedly popular, and is therefore sold out everywhere]?”

Me: “No, we sold out almost immediately, and our distributor didn’t have any left by the time we reordered. We’re waiting on it to be reprinted.”

Customer: “Well, can’t you order it?”

Me: “We have. As soon as we drop below our minimum inventory threshold, we order a restock, but since even the manufacturer doesn’t have any we can’t get them.”

Customer: “But why don’t you just order more?”

Me: *inside my mind* “Because we knew infuriating people like you would want them, and we want to be able to tell you, ‘No,’ honestly.” *out loud* “I can take your name and number and wait-list you for when the reprint finally happens, but that will probably be a few months from now.” *our industry is chronically undercapitalized and multi-month stock outages are common* “If you’re in a hurry you can buy it from a price-gouger on Amazon or eBay.”

Customer: “No, that’s okay. I’ll just come back.”

(Repeat entire conversation next weekend because “months” means “days” in customer-land.)

Unfiltered Story #118765

, , | Unfiltered | August 23, 2018

(All the papers across the country recently got a new phone system, and it seems to have confused many callers. I have personally experienced people calling multiple times to get a hold of me, and I’ve heard many coworkers complain that their sources are having troubles with the system as well. One day as I am busy at work at my desk, I get a call.)

Me: *sees it’s from a non-local number, thinks it’s strange* “Hello, [My Name] speaking.”

Caller: “Hi, what department is this?”

Me: “What department were you hoping to reach?”

Caller: “I was hoping to reach someone at [newspaper in small city in Ontario].”

Me: “…well, we’re actually a paper in [small city in Alberta].”

Caller: “…Where the hell is that?!”

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