A Sure Way To Cheese Them Off

, , , , , , | Right | November 9, 2018

(Our grocery store recently added coupons to other stores on the back of our receipts. It helps offset the price of till paper, because other companies are paying us for the advertisement space. Apparently this is a brand-new concept to some. A customer places five blocks of cheese on the counter.)

Me: “All righty, sir, that will be $23.54.”

Customer: “I have a coupon.”

(I start looking for anything indicating a discount, which some of our receipts will print, if you buy gas from our adjacent gas bar. He reaches over and tugs the receipt out of my hand, and turns it backwards.)

Me: *immediately aware of where this is going* “I’m sorry, sir, I don’t see anything—”

Customer: “Right there! $20 off in-store purchase!”

Me: “Sorry, sir, this is for [Family-Owned Music Store], not our store.”

Customer: *tugs the receipts over again* “It’s says, ‘[Our Store],’ on the front! Right there!”

(I kept trying to explain the advertisements on the back to him, and he kept getting angrier, until I finally snapped, “It’s not our store!” He then grabbed his cheese and marched off in a huff, and I was forced follow him because I needed to rescan the cheese to get it off my till.)

Weed Now Legal In Canada: Engineering Some Wonderful Moments

, , , , , | Friendly | November 9, 2018

(Weed in Canada has recently been legalized. Riding the train home after a lunch date, I see this from across the aisle.)

Guy #1: *produces a mini-bong from one of his pockets and turns to his friend* “Give me my engineering degree!”

Guy #2: *instantly whips out and hands over a plastic straw*

Guy #1: *sticks it on the mini-bong, beams proudly at this engineering achievement, and smiles at his friend* “Thanks!”

(They missed their stop.)

Unfiltered Story #124861

, , , | Unfiltered | November 9, 2018

(I work in a small town hardware store, which is usually relatively quiet, so I get the chance to interact with my customers more than most cashiers. It should be noted that although I don’t “look” the part, I am a huge comic book fan. This customer had been in a few hours prior buying the same sort of item, a drill bit, so I decided to bug him about it.)

Me: You again! The first bit wasn’t good enough for you, or what?

Customer: No! Well, yes. It was a perfectly good bit, but it broke. This has been the toughest job. Apparently we’re drilling through concrete… or diamonds… or..

Me: (laughing) something like Adamantium?

Customer: YES! Wait.. What? you?! But! I was going to say that, but I didn’t think you’d… (he fist pumps into the air) THERE IS HOPE FOR US!

(At this point we’re both laughing heartily, and I unzip my work sweater to show my t-shirt, which has MARVEL written across it)

Customer: And she’s a marvel girl! Good lord, if I didn’t need to finish this job, I would propose on the spot.

Me: Well I’m done work at six, if you feel like coming back.

(He leaves, and I forget all about it, until around 5:50 when my boss approaches me with a box saying a customer had dropped it off for me. In the box was a kids spider-man ring and a little note that said “sorry I couldn’t   stick around, life of a superhero- you know. Please take this peace offering and my phone number, and give me a call sometime!
I did, and we’ve been dating ever since.)

Unfiltered Story #124756

, , , | Unfiltered | November 4, 2018

[A customer came in to the store to do an exchange on a speaker we had to web order one for him and explained it would take 3 – 10 business days, we got the exchange done and he went to pack up his old speaker to take it home]

Me: Sir you can’t take the speaker home with you

Customer: Why not? it still works if I put the USB cord in, it’s just the blu-tooth that isnt working

Me: Once you return an item to the store, you cant take it back, because that classifies as theft


Me: Sir, let me ask you something, you borrow a wrench from someone, and a few weeks later you give it back, is the wrench still yours?

Customer: No because I gave it back to them

Me: Exactly, when you signed to accept that you were returning the item, it meant you are giving the item back to us, and you will be getting a new one free of charge when it comes in the mail

Customer:….Well what do I do  until my new speaker comes in?

A Debit Card Company That Only Debits You

, , , , , , | Working | October 29, 2018

(I own a small business that I myself operate solely. I have a debit machine through a company that shuts down with very little notice, leaving me scrambling to find a new one. The day I learn of the shutdown, I get a call from another processor company.)

Man: “Hi there! We are calling all customers of [Previous Company] to offer a great deal during this stressful time. Do you have a few minutes?”

Me: “Oh, that’s so convenient! I do, but I will tell you the features I need and we can go from there; that way we don’t waste each other’s time. I need a machine that is portable either by Bluetooth or 3G, supports a tip option, and has an app or ability to be connected to a catalogue system rather than manually writing an invoice and punching in the total.”

Man: “We definitely have that!” *rambles on about one machine*

Me: “What’s the cost per month, and are there sign-up fees?”

Man: “It is $9.95 per month, plus 1.1% for credit purchases and ten cents flat for debit purchases. There is usually a sign-up fee, but for customers of [Previous Company] we are waiving it for all new setups.”

Me: “Thank you. I’ll keep it in mind!”

(Two weeks go by, and I’m running out of time for a new machine. Every other company is either too expensive — $150+ per month — or doesn’t answer their phone. I get a call back from the same man.)

Man: “Have you found a provider, or would you like to go ahead?”

Me: “I guess we will go ahead with it, thank you!”

(Cue two weeks of frustrating emails back and forth about the paperwork they need. They ask for one form, I send it, then they say, “Whoops, we need this one, instead.” “Do you have anything that says this?” “Can you print this and drive twenty minutes to your bank to write three numbers on it and then send it back?” Finally I receive my machine. There is no tip option and no catalogue, even though he assured me multiple times both on the phone and on email that it had them! I call back.)

Me: “You told me many times it supported a tip option and had a built-in catalogue on the app! It doesn’t!”

Man: “No, ma’am, I didn’t say that. None of our machines offer that.”

Me: “Then I’d like to send it back. I was lied to, and I don’t want a machine that doesn’t work for me.”

Man: “I will see if you can cancel your contract early.”

Me: “I did not sign a contract. It’s monthly.”

Man: “My mistake. There is a cancellation fee of $399 to buy out the machine.”

Me: “I haven’t used the machine yet. I’m not paying anything. I signed nothing.”

Man: “Let me call you back; I have to talk with my manager.”

(Two weeks go by with no call back. I leave multiple voicemails and send multiple emails. Nothing. I’m doing some shopping for my business one day and my business debit card gets declined. I know there was plenty of money in there for my supplies, so I stop at the bank and see that there is $9.12 left! A charge for $399, another for $224, and another for $1,165 have come out, all bearing the name of that debit machine provider. Frantically, I call my bank and ask for the charges to be reversed as they are fraudulent, but there is a two- to three-business-day wait and it is a Friday night. I call the machine provider.)

Woman: “The sales rep you were dealing with isn’t in the office at the moment, but I’ve looked over your account and those charges are legitimate. You cancelled your contract, and the charges are $399 for the machine, $224 for the application and paperwork, and $1,165 for early termination.”

Me:I. Signed. Nothing! You can’t just steal people’s money like that! Refund the charges now! I’m a small-time business with just me, myself, and I, and you’ve left my bank account empty! I have to pay rent for my office! I have orders to pay for!”

Woman: “He just came back in. One moment.”

Man: “Hi, [My Name], we processed your cancellation as you requested, so you’re good to go.”

Me: “No, I told you I wasn’t paying that. I didn’t sign a contract.”

Man: “Yes, you did. That electronic document I sent to you that you electronically signed is your contract.”

Me: “You mean the one that says I agree to pay the percentage and 10 cents per transaction, and that my fees for the start-up were waived as part of the deal for [Previous Company]’s shut down?”

Man: “On page two. That is the contract. You signed a two-year contract and agreed to pay the cancellation fees of [amount] per month if cancelled early.”

Me: “There was only one page.”

Man: “No, there were two. You’re telling me you sign things without reading them?”

Me: “No, a**hole, there’s only one page. I’m staring at the email right now.”

Man: “You must be blind. You’re trying to scam us. Learn to read! I’m forwarding it to you now!”

Me: “Got it. Still only one page!”

Man:No, there are— Wait… F***, I forgot to send the other one.” *click*

(I still haven’t been refunded. This isn’t a scam company, either; they’re a multi-billion-dollar company that serves more than 50% of businesses in my town!)

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