(We’re having another heatwave, which is very common in Southern Alberta. An Englishman and an American man walk into the restaurant where I work as a waiter.)

American: “I expected it to be… colder.”

Englishman: “Yeah. Are you sure we’re in Canada?”

American: “I dunno, we might be lost. I don’t see any snow.”

(The two walk up to me while I’m serving a young couple.)

Englishman: “’Scuse me, sir?”

(I turn to him.)

Me: “Yes?”

American: “Are we in Canada?”

Me: “I’m guessing you were expecting snow, beavers, maybe an igloo or two?”

(They both nodded. Feeling like being “funny,” I was about to tell them, “No, this is still the States; keep heading north,” but before I could respond, the Englishman whispered something to the American. He then pointed up to a plaque featuring the Canadian flag and its anthem. They both turned extremely red and ran out.)

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(I work for a company that does the kitchen installs for a large chain big box store. My city is currently experiencing catastrophic flooding and is in a declared State of Emergency. It is first thing Friday morning, and I’ve been asked to contact our customers to cancel all appointments for the next few days. I leave a message for this particular customer and receive the following call back:)

Me: “Good morning, [Company Name], this is [My Name] speaking.”

Customer: “I received a message about my install? Something about canceling?”

Me: “Yes, because of the state of emergency and the road closures, we are currently canceling all appointments. I will be contacting you on Monday to reschedule.”

Customer: “No, I cannot wait! I’ve waited too long for my kitchen already; you have to send someone!”

Me: “Ma’am, the installer scheduled for today has been evacuated from his home due to the flooding. He has to take care of his family now. Due to the road closures and current driving conditions, it is unsafe for any of my installers to be on the road, so all appointments are being cancelled.”

Customer: “Then I want my install Monday! This is terrible. You can’t keep me waiting!”

Me: “Ma’am, I have no way of predicting whether or not the situation will improve over the weekend, and I can’t guarantee a Monday appointment. I will contact you Monday to reschedule.”

Customer: “Fine, then! I will be calling [Store] to complain! You’re terrible! I can’t wait another week for my install! I’m going to demand a discount for this!”

Me: “You do whatever you feel you have to, ma’am.”

Customer: *click*

(It’s worth noting that at the time this conversation took place, nearly every major roadway in my city had closures, our entire downtown core was flooded out, and about 100,000 people had been evacuated from their homes!)

(I am currently covering customer service while the associate is on their lunch. I have a gentleman come up asking about our calling cards to the states.)

Me: “At my desk, I have a $5 ones as well as a $30 one.”

Customer: “Well, how many minutes would I get for $5?”

(I am unsure of this answer so I read him information off the back of the card, and then I have to figure out what amount of card he wants. Finally, after going through five different cards, he settles on two $5 ones.)

Me: “So, your total comes to [total].”

Customer: “Now wait. How am I so sure this will work? If it doesn’t, can I bring it back to get my money back?”

Me: “Unfortunately, sir, we do not do refunds on these for the simple fact you could use it, empty it, and then claim it never worked and get free money.”

Customer: “Well, s***, how am I so sure it’ll work?!”

Me: “As soon as I swipe it, it activates itself and will work.”

(As he pulls out money to pay, I realize he’s paying in American money. We do accept it, but at the till I’m using, the button won’t work to convert it. I explain to him that I need to take him to one of our tills to ring him through.)

Customer: “So now, after all that trouble, you won’t even take my money? This f****** country is so backward!”

Me: “Sir, I said I could take it, just not at this till; the button is broken.”

(We proceed to the till, and I redo the transaction, take his money, convert it, and start handing him back his change in Canadian currency.)

Customer: “What the h*** are you doing?”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “What in the h*** are you giving me that money?”

Me: “I’m sorry, Canadian money? Sir, we’re in Canada.”

Customer: “So?! I paid in good American money! Why in the f*** would you not give me money from America?!”

Me: “Sir, we’re in Canada. Why would I give you USA money?”

Customer: “BECAUSE THAT’S HOW I PAID YOU!”

(We went back and forth a few more times and he still couldn’t understand why I was giving him our currency. As he was leaving he claimed he was “never coming back to this stupid country.”)

(An older man beside me at the superstore is looking at packages of boot tractions — those things that attach to the bottom of boots so you don’t slip on snow and ice — scowling at them, and then shoving them back. I decide to try and be helpful.)

Me: “What size are you looking for?”

Customer: “Medium.”

Me: “Oh, they come in small/medium and large/extra-large.”

Customer: “My wife said to get a medium.”

Me: *reading the package info* “Well, it says here that the small/medium fits women’s size five to nine. What size does your wife wear?”

Customer: “It’s for her boots. She said to get medium.”

Me: “It doesn’t look like it comes in a medium.”

Customer: “She said to get medium.”

Me: “Okay, good luck, then.”

(I’m fairly new and still figuring things out, so I have a coworker standing next to me to make sure I’m entering into the till right.)

Me: “Can I get your first and last name, please?”

(The customer gives their name and asks if we have the discount program. Our store sends discounts by email; we don’t give out a card anymore.)

Me: “Yes, we do! We don’t hand out cards anymore; we just take your email and send you the discounts that way, and if you have a smartphone, you can just show us from your phone or print off the coupons! Could I get your email?”

Customer: “I think that’s ridiculous that everything is on the computer or you have to have one of these stupid smartphones to do anything anymore. Don’t sign me up; we’re old school and we don’t have a computer or smartphone.”

(The customer continues to grumble, and then the husband pipes in with more ranting about technology these days.)

Me: “Well, I’m sorry, guys, but considering the fact that most people have a smartphone or computer these days… it just seems logical, don’t you think?”

Customer: “I still don’t think that’s fair to those who don’t!”

Me: “I understand, but I’m just an employee and I can’t change the policies. Sorry.”

(The customer continues being cranky with her husband on their way out the door.)

Coworker: “Did she really just get upset that we use email instead of a card? Normally, people are happy they don’t have to carry another random card in their wallet.”

Me: “Uh… yup… I felt like I was a five-year-old being scolded. I’m gonna go take fifteen, I think.”