In the north-central part of Calgary, Alberta, there is a large park that is kept as close to natural prairie conditions as possible, the only upgrades being surfaced paths to limit where people can walk. A significant portion of it is designated as an off-leash area. Although we had no dogs at the time, we often walked there.

One day, we were on a path that intersected another path at right angles. On our left on the new trail, walking towards the intersection, were a woman and her dog. The animal was perhaps forty pounds, acting in a non-threatening manner and, of course, not on a lead. On the trail to our right, walking in the opposite direction, was a family of four — two boys, ages between six and ten, a small mom in her forties, and the tall, heavyset father.

When the two parties were perhaps fifteen meters apart, the dad yelled, “Put that dog on a leash!” There was no hint of a request in his voice.

The woman replied, “Sir, this is an off-lead area.”

The father responded, “My little guy is afraid of dogs. Leash him!”

I wanted to ask him why he took his kids there, but decided discretion was the better part of valor. The woman did leash the dog and another bully got rewarded.

(I’m ringing up a customer near the end of my shift. I am very obviously pregnant and only about two weeks from my due date.)

Customer: “So, when’s the big day?”

Me: *not cluing in right away* “I’m sorry? What do you mean?”

Customer: *looking absolutely horrified* “You are pregnant, right?!”

Me: “Oh! Yes! Yes, I am! Just a couple more weeks.”

Related:
Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 21
Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 20
Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 19

I was visiting my parents at the small store my dad owns, and while he was up front, I was chatting with my mom in the back office area. The door between the front and back was open.

My mom commented, “I wonder if that mousetrap has caught anything yet.”

I had been with my dad at the office on the weekend, and I asked, “Did you hear that Dad found a dead mouse in the garbage can last week?”

“He what?! No!”

She rushed to the open door between the front and back and called — loudly — up to the front, “You found a dead mouse in the garbage can?”

It was then, and only then, that she heard him talking to a customer up front. Her eyes widened, and she covered her mouth and almost melted away into her office chair.

After a moment, she whispered, “Haven’t made a business blunder like that in a loooong time.”

I’m tee-total, but I still like to go dancing with my friends. A Shirley Temple is one of my favourite drinks, but for some reason, some bars like to add vodka or rum, without even asking me which one. Because of this, I’ve learned to be specific.

I’m also used to non-alcoholic drinks being free at the clubs we go to.

Me: “Could I please get a Shirley Temple with no alcohol?”

Bartender: “What is that?”

Me: “Just orange juice, Sprite, and grenadine.”

Bartender: “We don’t have grenadine.”

Me: “That’s okay, just orange juice and Sprite.”

She mixes a drink and sets it on the bar.

Bartender: “That’s $5.75.”

Me: “For what?”

Bartender: “For the vodka.”

She says this as if it should be obvious.

Me: “No, I wanted no alcohol. I said just orange juice and Sprite.”

Bartender: *With attitude* “You didn’t say you wanted a virgin.”

I was especially confused because not only was I certain that I had specified no alcohol, but I had actually listed the ingredients for her. A version of this was, unfortunately, a common occurrence at clubs, but this one was definitely the worst one.

I know this store offers plain cold brew and vanilla bean cold brew, but the vanilla bean drink comes with milk. I love cold brew coffee and vanilla, but on this particular day, I don’t feel like drinking something milky.

Me: “Could I actually just get a regular black cold brew, but then add a shot of vanilla to it?”

Employee: “So, a vanilla cold brew?”

Me: “No, I want black cold brew, but I just want a shot of vanilla syrup added to it.”

Employee: “Oh, sure.”

I pay and a few minutes later a drink comes up for my name, but it is a light tan colour because it has milk in it.

Me: “Is this mine?”

Employee: “Yes.”

Me: “But… I ordered a black cold brew with a shot of vanilla in it.”

Employee: “Yeah, that’s what that is.”

Me: “But it has milk in it.”

Employee: “Yeah, that’s the vanilla bean cold brew.”

Me: “No, I know, but I wanted a black cold brew.”

I just get a confused look from the employee.

Me: “Don’t you guys just have plain vanilla syrup you could add to drinks?”

Employee: “Oh, yeah, I guess I could remake it.”

I understand that these employees just get stuck on autopilot sometimes, but I had hoped asking with a longer description rather than “vanilla cold brew” would snap them out of it. I guess not!